“And just what do you think she will give? She hates me, I can tell.”
“And she will move on from it. I did not marry the lady that she wanted me to, and she is upset, but she will see reason eventually. She likes to think that she has the control in my household, but she forgets that I am the one that people consider to be in charge first and foremost, even above her, and so she has to listen to me rather than the other way around.”
It was meant to be a comfort, or at least she assumed it was, but part of it caught her off guard. She almost did not want to question it, for he had softened since their first meeting and she did not want to ruin it. However, she was not the sort of lady to hold her tongue, even when she knew it was best to.
“The lady?” she echoed. “I thought you said that she had suggested several.”
“She has, but there is one in particular that she truly did want. I refused, but she seemed determined that I would change my mind. Now I no longer can, she will have to accept it.”
She should not have felt the jealousy that she did. It was ridiculous, and she knew it, but she wondered just what she so lacked in that this other lady had. She knew that mothers had plans for their children, and that when those plans were not achieved there was disappointment, but was she truly so much worse than any other lady?
“It is the circumstance that has caused it, I believe,” he added. “No matter what she thinks, this match will happen and she can either be happy for us or I will find another estate for her to reside in. The choice is hers.”
“I do not like that,” she said quietly, her stomach twisting. “I do not think it will bode well for her to be forced to choose like that. If it were me, it would only make me angrier.”
“I do not need you to tell me how to handle my own grandmother,” he said firmly.
His sudden change in tone caught her by surprise, and she quietened. She was not trying to tell him what to do, only offering how she would have felt, but he had taken it personally. He took a breath, and then shook his head slowly.
“My apologies. I did not mean to sound like that. All that I am trying to say is that I know my family, and I know what I must do to make them understand, which is of the utmost importance if they are to eventually be happy about it.”
“I see. It is quite all right, I know how I feel about my own family. I would do anything for them, which is precisely why I am marrying you. Saving my reputation saves theirs too, and that is what matters to me. If it were not for that, I would not be in this position. I would be at a beach somewhere, watching the sea before going to sleep whenever I please.”
“You… You truly do not want this marriage, do you?”
“No. I have always said that I would only marry for love and romance, which of course you do not wish to offer me. Had you asked me to marry you without all of this spectacle, I would have refused, and I would not have thought twice about it.”
“That is just as well, for I never would have asked you.”
It should have been what she wanted to hear, for it meant that they were in agreement, but there was a pain in her chest when he said it. It was different coming from him; he was set on the marriage, where she was reluctant, but even then he was only doing it because he had no other choice.
“Might you tell me the lady that your grandmother liked for you?”
“Certainly not. If you knew who she was, you would compare yourself to her, perhaps even try to be like her in order to please my grandmother, and I cannot stomach the thought of that.”
“Do you truly believe that I would do that? I believe I know who I am, and I am not the sort of person to change in order to gain acceptance. Then again, I suppose that much is clear to you, given the circumstances.”
“Be that as it may, the temptation would be there, and I would prefer to avoid that altogether.”
He did not seem to believe her at all, nor did he trust her. She was not too upset about that, for he had no real reason to trusther; they did not know one another, but even so she wished that he would treat her like the lady she was, rather than a girl.
“Did you have any more questions for me?” he asked.
There were several, but they did not have the time for that. They were to leave soon, and that meant that he had to return to his home so that they arrived separately. The situation was delicate, and it meant having to do everything perfectly.
“No,” she replied. “That will be all, for now.”
“For now?”
“I would like to know my husband before our wedding day,” she said, laughing softly. “Perhaps that way, it will not feel as though I am marrying a complete stranger.”
He seemed to harden there, and though he did not say anything she knew what he was thinking. He wanted them to remain unknown to one another, for it was easier that way.
But she could not help but disagree.
Chapter Seven
George returned home to collect Philippa, but he did not expect to be faced with his grandmother, dressed to accompany them.
