He also remembered the way Lilly would grab her arms at night, as if she were cold.Was she hugging herself? Could I have made things better if I had just given her a hug the way Marina is doing now?
He gritted his teeth. He couldn’t change the past, but he could do better in the future. He would make sure she would never want for affection again.
Quietly, he stood up to leave. If he could slip out unnoticed, then there would be no chance of him ruining the calm atmosphere that Marina had created.
But before he could get far, Lilly turned to look at him and held out her arm. “Father. Here.”
Marina turned to smile at him, and she gently patted a space on the bed next to the two of them, inviting him to join. He knew better than to refuse.
Evan crawled onto the bed and hugged both of them. Lilly sighed contentedly, and a nice warm feeling filled his chest. Together, they lay down on the bed, with Lilly between them.
“Please stay,” Lilly mumbled. “Until I fall asleep.”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Marina said, meeting Evan’s eyes. “Neither of us is going anywhere.”
“I like hearing your voices,” Lilly said.
“We’ll talk to you until you fall asleep,” Evan said. “We could talk about fishing for a while. Or about Prince William.”
Lilly shook her head before looking at Marina. “Why can’t I have a brother or sister?” she asked. “Father said it was your decision, so I should ask you.”
Marina looked a little startled, and Evan cringed. “That is not quite what I said,” he said slowly. “I never said you should ask her at least.”
He half-expected Marina to look angry or insulted about discussing such a topic without her. But instead, she looked amused. “It is a big decision, Lilly,” Marina said gently. “There is a lot of work that goes into having a child, even before the baby is born.”
“I can help,” Lilly said. “I don’t mind work.”
Marina chuckled. “I know, sweetheart. But there is a lot of work involved that only I can do, especially when I’m pregnant.”
Lilly pouted. “So I won’t ever have a little brother or sister?”
Marina looked at Evan for a moment, looking almost shy. “I wouldn’t say that there’snopossibility.”
Evan’s breath caught in his throat. He hadn’t let himself hope for such a thing, even after he and Marina had kissed. “There will have to be more discussions about this,” he said, clearing his throat.
Marina smiled. “Indeed. What was Lilly like when she was a baby?”
Evan was happy to talk about that. He told both Marina and Lilly about her first few days in the world, describing how Lilly would stare at everything with complete fascination, and how she would reach for Evan’s pocketwatch with her tiny hand every time she saw it. Eventually, Lilly’s eyes closed, and her breathing evened out as she fell back to sleep.
Marina looked up at him and smiled warmly. He found himself smiling back. He wanted to speak to her, to tell him how much she meant to him, but he couldn’t because he didn’t want to risk waking up his daughter.
Marina reached out slowly and brushed her thumb against his cheek. Only then did he realize a tear or two had escaped his eyes, and she was wiping them away. He grabbed her hand and turned to kiss her palm, gently, hoping it would convey everything he was feeling to her.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“What for?” she said. “For helping with Lilly? You don’t have to thank me for that.”
He shook his head. “No. Thank you for marrying me.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Three nights later, Evan waited as usual for Lilly to start screaming from a nightmare. He grew tense as he watched the hands tick by on his pocketwatch, mentally preparing himself. But the scream never happened.
“It’s never too late,” he muttered. “It’s the same time every night.” Granted, her nightmares were getting weaker. It wouldn’t take her as long to calm down and go back to sleep. But this was the first night where she hadn’t screamed.
He left his bedchamber and went to Lilly’s room to find Marina doing the same thing. She smiled at him as they both approached Lilly’s room. “Has this ever happened?” she whispered.
He shook his head. “No. Not since her mother died.”
