Evan did not reply, knowing his butler was correct. Lilly’s mother could not wait to leave his manor fast enough. Meanwhile, Marina seemed perfectly content to spend her days here, taking care of Lilly. She cared a lot for the little girl. Anyone could see that, even if they had different thoughts about how to raise her.
“She should not have changed Lilly’s schedule,” he said. “I should not have agreed to it because it just made Lilly cross with Marina. What is the point of changing her routine and making her have dinner with us when it will just drive a rift between the two of them?”
“Your Grace, there is no rift between them. You know perfectly well that Lilly apologized the morning after and Marina happily forgave her,” Carlson said.
Evan stood up and started to pace. “Yes, we were all lucky that the argument was not more serious. But I do not want to create any more discord in the house. It will be best if we just live separate lives instead of trying to force ourselves to spend family time together.”
The butler poured Evan a cup of tea and handed it to him. “Are you sure about that, Your Grace? You are hardly getting a lot of work done right now.”
“I simply have to adjust,” he said, taking a sip of his tea, even as he paced around the room. “I am not changing Lilly’s routine again. Having a consistent routine will help her feel safe. She and Marina clearly get along quite well without my presence, and Lilly’s studies are starting to improve. Trying to change things will only ruin the little progress already made.”
“You mean you thinkyourpresence will ruin things, Your Grace?”
“I have yet to see anything to the contrary,” Evan said. “I do not let myself fall victim to sentiment. Instead, I look at the facts. When I tried to tuck Lilly into bed myself, instead of having her nanny tuck her in, Lilly said she hated me because I made a comment about her teddy bear. During the fishing trip, I made her cry, and Marina was the only reason why the day was not a complete disaster. Of course, there is also that dinner, where Lilly—who rarely has such behavioral issues—started throwing things and shouting.”
Evan shook his head. “I do not understand why the duchess insists that I should spend more time with Lilly when … when I just make things worse.” It was hard to admit it out loud. He barely even liked saying it to himself. But he could not let his own feelings get in the way when the truth of the matter was painfully obvious.
Carlson usually looked amused or slightly exasperated whenever Evan went on one of his rants, but now he just looked sad more than anything. “I do not think this is the case, Your Grace,” he said. “You love your daughter, and she loves you.”
“That is not enough,” Evan said impatiently. “Those are just emotions. Troublesome ones, too.”
“Love might be troublesome, but it is one of the strongest forces in the world. It even affects the Heartless Duke.” The butler smirked. “You never would have married if you did not love your daughter. In fact, Lilly would not be here if …” he trailed off, clearly regretting his words.
Evan sighed. “You mean to say that Lilly would not be here if I didn’t love her,” he said quietly. “Because I have reason to believe she is not actually mine. I could have shipped her off to boarding school or put her on Mr. Barrowman’s doorstep. You are right. It does not offend me when you state the obvious.”
“You are a good man, Evan, and despite what the ton says– despite what the late duchess screamed at you on a weekly basis—you have a heart.” The butler shrugged. “You would have turned me out for impertinence a long time ago if you did not.”
Evan smiled softly. “As long as you are around to give me your unique perspective, your job is secure. I suppose I do let my emotions rule me more than I'd like. And I admit that it might not always be a bad thing.”
“What was that, Your Grace? I did not quite catch the last part.”
“Yes, you did.” The duke chuckled. “What do you think I should do? I’m at a loss right now.”
“I think you should try to have dinner with your daughter and wife again, Your Grace. Show her that you are willing to make an effort.”
Evan nodded reluctantly. “All right. I suppose you are right.” He still was not sure if this idea would work, but he missed seeing his wife, even if it was only at the dinner table.
That night, he asked the nanny to bring Lilly down to the dining hall. “We are going to have dinner together,” he said to her. “Is that okay?”
Lilly avoided his eyes. “All right.”
“Good. I do not want you to throw your food at the duchess.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“Good.” He grabbed a nearby maid and asked her to find Marina and bring her down to dinner before he took a seat across from Lilly at the dinner table. “How was your day?” he asked her.
“We threw the ball for Prince William in the yard today,” she said. “And we went down to the river.”
“Did you do any fishing? Perhaps Princess Delphinium the Third has a cousin you could meet.”
She shook her head. “No. Marina said we can wait for you for fishing.”
“Oh.” He had thought that was a safe topic, but it hadn’t made her smile like he thought it would. “I did not know my presence was required.”
She shrugged. “Don’t you like fishing? You know all about it.”
The truth was, he was indifferent to fishing. He learned as a child, but it was never his favorite thing to do. His father loved outdoor activities, including fishing, hunting, and horseback riding. He taught all of them to Evan, hoping one of them would interest his son, but none of them did. Evan did the activities with his father out of a sense of duty, but the passion was never there.
