She bit her lip, feeling tears sting her eyes, much to her annoyance.Of all the times for that to be happening.She tried to mirror his calm, neutral demeanor. “I spent my entire lifefeeling invisible,” she said finally. “Now I feel invisible in my marriage. I don’t like it.”
“You’re not invisible,” he said, his voice soft.
“Notliterallyinvisible, but?—”
“I could not stop noticing you even if I tried.”
His words sent a shiver down her spine as her cheeks burned. What was she supposed to do with a statement like that?Do not say such things to me, or I will start thinking you care for me beyond my ability to mother your child. If I start thinking … and wanting … such things, then I will just be disappointed by the impossible.
“I know you notice me. You’re very observant, after all. But I need more than that. I need a more … intimate connection.”
His eyebrows raised. “Intimate?”
Her cheeks heated up. “N—not like that. I know you are not … I mean, neither of us is interested inthat.” She said it quickly, knowing she wasn’t quite telling the truth about her own interest.
He stepped closer, close enough for her to breathe in his scent. “Then what did you mean?” His voice was low and quiet, full of sincere curiosity.”
“I need more conversation than just reporting to you about Lilly,” she said. “Sometimes I feel like I’m merely your employee.”
He inclined his head. “My apologies. What do you want to converse about?”
“I don’t know! Anything.”Couldn’t we at least be friends, if not … anything more?The words were stuck in her throat, but maybe that was for the best. She already felt so exposed to him. She didn’t want to bear any more of her soul if she could help it.
She was so tense that she was holding her breath without realizing it. Marina felt for the doorknob behind her and turned it. The door swung open, and she stumbled backward, feeling lightheaded. “You are clearly not very busy at the moment,” she said. “I insist you come spend quality time with Lilly and me this afternoon.”
He regarded her thoughtfully, looking her up and down for a moment in a way that made goosebumps prickle over her skin. “I still have some work I need to do. But I will join you and Lilly for her next lesson.”
“I will come get you, then,” Marina said, satisfied with his answer, but also a touch uncertain. His closeness felt overwhelming to her. Heat rushed to her face, and her skin tingled as if she were expecting him to cup her cheek with his hand.Do not be silly. He would never.
“There’s no need.” He checked his pocketwatch. “I have her schedule memorized. I will have my work finished in time, and I will come to her nursery.”
Marina nodded. “Alright. Then I will see you then.” She spun on her heel and left, hoping he hadn’t seen how affected she had been by his proximity. She was only able to breathe properly once she had turned away from him.
Of course, he noticed. The man is dreadfully observant.
She shook her head as she went to Lilly’s nursery, and a small smile tugged on her lips. At least she would be able to surprise Evan with something. Unbeknownst to him, Lilly’s next lesson did not involve books or even being indoors. Instead, they were going fishing.
Chapter Seventeen
Evan still had some documents he needed to review, but he decided to leave five minutes early for Lilly’s nursery anyway. He could not focus, not after his wife told him she needed a more intimate connection.
She did not mean it romantically. She just wants me to talk to her about things other than Lilly.
No matter how many times he told himself that, he couldn’t stop the fantasies about holding her close and kissing her that ran through his mind.
Marina had gotten under his skin. Something about her calling him ‘Your Grace’ did not sit well with him.
Perhaps that’s because Lilly’s mother always referred to me formally. The angrier she was, the more she used my title to put distance between us.He did not want Marina to put the same distance between them, although it should not really matter.
After all, Marina made it clear that she cared for Lilly. Even if a silk merchant caught her eye, she would not abandon his daughter.
“So why does it matter if she wants to distance herself fromme?” He muttered to himself as he approached Lilly’s nursery. It was unsettling how much his new wife fascinated him. He caught himself looking at her a little too long during dinner sometimes, and when she was in his study, he had gotten close enough to smell the faintly floral perfume she wore.
She is so vexing; she made me admit that I always notice her. Why did I say that?
Right outside Lilly’s door, he stopped and took a deep breath to collect himself. He did not want Marina to see him look so affected in her presence, and he certainly did not want Lilly to see him look weak or unsure.
He knocked politely on the door.
