I blinked, caught off guard. “Me? I’d probably tell him to shake it off and focus on the next play.”
“Not bad,” J.D. said, nodding. “But sometimes, you’ve got to remind them why they’re here in the first place. Tyler’s a grinder—he’s not the most skilled guy on the ice, but he works harder than anyone else. That’s his edge. You tap into that, remind him that his hustle is what makes him valuable. Once he remembers that, the mistakes don’t matter as much.”
That hit me harder than I expected. I nodded slowly, the weight of his words sinking in. “It’s about finding their why.”
“Exactly,” J.D. said, clapping me on the shoulder. “Same goes for you, you know.”
I frowned, glancing at him. “What do you mean?”
“You’re more than just a player, Preston. You’ve got a sharp hockey mind. You see things most guys miss. That’s not something you lose when you’re off the ice. Tap into that while you can’t play. See how it feels.”
J.D. turned back to the ice, whistling sharply to signal the next drill. “Now, pay attention. You’re shadowing me, remember? What’s Tyler doing wrong in this breakout?
I shook off the swirling thoughts and focused on the ice. “He’s skating too deep into the zone. He’s cutting off his own angle for a pass.”
J.D. smirked. “See? Told you you’ve got a good eye. Observe. Learn. It’ll make you better once you’re back on the ice.”
That compliment had me smiling, replacing the gross anger of not being able to play. A week ago, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Maybe this was a reminder of that goal—I wanted to keep playing the sportandI wanted to coach. For the first time since learning I couldn’t play for three to four weeks, I smiled.
Now I just had to get Jordan back and I’d be okay.
29
JORDAN
Logan’s parents had the coziest house on the planet. I’d said it a million times, but it hit differently today. The smell of fresh cookies wafted from the kitchen, a fire crackled in the living room fireplace, and everything was warm and soft and safe. Except for me.
I sat curled up on Logan’s childhood bed in their basement, staring out the small window at the bare trees swaying in the cold wind. My thoughts were a mess, running in circles and tangling into knots I couldn’t untie. Logan was upstairs, probably giving me space or maybe giving me time to stop being an idiot.
Because that was what I’d been. An idiot. A panicked, irrational idiot.
I hugged my knees to my chest, replaying the moment I saw that email on Preston’s laptop. My chest still tightened at the memory, but now there was something else mixed in with the hurt and anger: guilt. Guilt that I hadn’t stopped to think, hadn’t asked questions, hadn’t trusted him enough to just talk to him.
I sighed, pressing my forehead against my knees.You fucking ruined it, Jordan.
The biting tone of my own inner voice sounded a lot like my mom’s when she spoke to me… which, fucking yikes. Why was I so mean to myself? Why was I so messed up?
The guilt shifted to terror, then shifted to utter sadness as I thought about what life would be like without him in the house. I wouldn’t hear him go up the stairs, knowing his exact footsteps. I wouldn’t see him playing video games without a shirt or how his hair was wild in the morning. No more super late nights, no more early mornings. Not having all those moments with him broke me. I wanted that…literally forever.
My phone remained off the last few hours I was here, my pulse spiking with the urge to power it on. He’d call me. I knew that, but I wasn’t ready. What did I even say?
“How are we doing?” Logan walked back into her room, a kind, understanding expression on her face. She set a mug of hot chocolate on the side table and plopped down on the foot of the bed. “You haven’t moved.”
“I’m embarrassed and sad.” There. I admitted the truth, which was hard for some reason. Logan would never judge me, but it was challenging to put to words what was going on in my mind. “It makes sense to just cut off contact with him, you know? If he’s gonna move out or move on after college anyway, I should get used to it now. Maybe the pain would hurt less if I put distance between us.”
Logan frowned and reached over to squeeze my knee. “First off, he called me freaking out. He’s not moving, okay? I also totally get what you’re saying. It’s easier to deal with the pain now than have it be worse later. Totally a way to protect yourself.”
She had an edge to her tone, and I glanced at her. Of course she’d immediately believe him. “I sense abutcoming?”
“It’s more of ahowever,” she teased. “That’s years away, and I think you’re scared. You had a shit experience growing up,loving people who were supposed to love and care for you back. It’s messed with you. You never want to put yourself truly out there because what if they turn you away? What if they don’t love you?”
“God, Logan.” My eyes prickled, and I barked out a hard laugh. “Let’s get right to the root of my soul here.”
“It’s true, though. I’d be a bad friend if I didn’t point out that I know your flaws and love you anyway. Distance doesn’t matter. Hell, we’ve only been living together this year! We’ve always been close, and friends, and it doesn’t matter where one lives.”
“So you’re saying you’d be okay with Quentin moving out? You wouldn’t be able to see him every night or hear him move in his room or watch the way he eats his food?”
Logan’s grin grew. “Well, I’d be quite upset if the manI was totally in love withmoved out because I’m at a different place with him. We’re together. We’re a couple. We have plans to be together for a long time. Do you see my point, my dearest darling?”
