“Hey, what’s wrong?” He frowned, the smile falling right off his face. “What just happened?”
“Nothing,” I lied, hating the lilt to my voice. I was a shit liar, and he knew it. “You said you wanted to talk, and I wanted to know about what. Do you have something to share?”
He rubbed his left shoulder—a clear sign of nerves. “I uh, don’t think so. I wanted to talk about you and me.”
I held up a hand, the urge to flee the fuck out of here gripping me a thousand times stronger than a magnet. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. There is nous.”
Preston flinched. “Wait,what?”
How dare he look surprised? My voice shook, the damn feelings overtaking me. “You were looking tomove out, Preston. You wanted to leave as soon as February! That is in two fucking weeks!”
He stood, eyes wide and panicked. “Jordan,” he said, slowly,carefully. He held up a hand as he shook his head. “That’s not… I’m not sure what you think?—”
“What I think!” I yelled, hating how tears formed in my eyes, and my heart shattered. “You wanted to move out. I don’t know why or when, but it doesn’t matter if we were together or a thing or just friends. You promised you’d never leave me! Youpromisedme, and you were going to without saying a fucking word.” I blinked, the tears spilling over. “I need to go. I need to leave.”
“Please, don’t, it’s not—Jordan, I beg you.”
I didn’t hear what he said. I didn’t care that his voice broke or that he sounded as shattered as I did. I bolted from his room, grabbed my coat and phone, and ran out of the house.
28
PRESTON
It didn’t matter how many times I called her. Jordan wouldn’t answer her phone or my texts. I couldn’t recall if I was ever this stressed in my life. Truly. It felt like someone reached into my chest and ripped out my heart. I’d prefer ten surgeries back-to-back over this, and it was all over a misunderstanding. She thought I was moving out. Never gave me the chance to say I sure as fuck wasn’t.
I mean, hell, I did apply for a new place to live. But that was before we kissed, we talked, beforeweactually happened. And an application was nothing. I didn’t set up a time to view anything or put a down payment. It was just a way to save my neck.
Fuck me. I scrubbed my hands over my face, right as my phone buzzed. “Jordan?” I answered, not even checking who called.
“No, I’msorry.” Logan’s soft voice carried through the phone. She sounded as defeated as I felt. Jordan ran out of here four hours ago and hadn’t returned.
I knew because I sat on the couch facing our front door.
“Have you seen her? Do you know where she went? Is sheokay?” I asked. It was still cold outside, and I wasn’t sure where she’d go if not with Logan. She didn’t have a huge friend group and hated spending money. She could hole up in the library but for how long? She had to come back. This was her home.
“I think we’re gonna stay at my parents’ house for a few days,” Logan said, her voice as ragged as mine. “I’m so sorry, Preston. I’m not quite sure what happened, but I know you’d never hurt her.”
“I fucking love her!” I said, “I wanted to tell her I loved her, but she must’ve heard or found something about me searching for an apartment, which I legit looked at for one second weeks ago.”
“Yeah, she said what she saw.” Logan shuffled, her voice going quieter. “She needs space. I hate saying this to you because we all can see how much you love her. She feels betrayed. I know you had your reasons for looking, but she’s not listening to reason. She’s devastated. I think…I think she developed real feelings for you. The first time she’s ever opened up. Then she learned about the apartment, and she went into self-protection mode.”
“Goddamn it.” I pinched my nose, my eyes prickling. “That’s… Logan, what do I do? I can’t lose her. I just can’t.”
“I’m not sure.” She sighed, the defeated tone sounding a whole lot like this was unfixable. “You don’t give up. She’s worth it, but it might take some time.”
“I know she’s worth it. I know that.” I paced the living room, wincing at the sharp pain in my side. “Can you keep me updated at least?”
“Of course. Quentin will head back to the house to help you.”
“No. I’m fine.” I did not want to see anyone right now. I wanted to be alone. “Just, tell her I’m sorry, and I’d never leave her. Never.”
“We’ll figure this out. I believe it. Love you, Preston.”
“You too, Log.”
I hung up, falling back to the couch as pain overtook me. I deserved it. All week, I’d focused on hockey instead of Jordan. It felt easier to put everything toward the sport, which was consistent. Maybe I was afraid of what had shifted between us, of asking her what we were. I didn’t want to be rejected, and instead, Jordan thought I was moving out of the house, all without telling her. I’d never do that. She had to realize the truth. She was endgame and always had been.
Something thudded outside the front door, and hope clawed up my throat.She’s back!I hobbled closer to the hallway, desperate and manic and out of control. If she was back, that was a good thing. She’d seen reason!
