“I can’t imagine you not playing on the ice.” The thought actually made me sad. “It’s a part of you.”
“Yeah, it always will be.” He stared at me again, his gaze thoughtful and intense. “When I think about two, three years from now, it’s not grinding in another city, fighting my way to earn starting time. I’ve worked hard and taken care of my body for most of my life. I kinda want to—” He stopped, blushing.
“Wait, what were you gonna say?” I had to know. I scooted closer to him, fighting the urge to reach out. “What do you kinda want to do?”
“Coach.” He smiled softly, moving between me and the ice. “I love the idea of owning a program and doing what Coach Reiner has done here. I figured I’d start with a club team, find an assistant coach position at a college. I actually haven’t shared that with anyone.”
I lit up. I loved knowing he’d shared that with just me. “You’d be incredible in a coaching role. You take charge, and you take care of people. You radiate teamwork, Charming. Oh my, I can totally see you being a head coach somewhere.”
“Yeah?” He smiled. “Would you watch my games?”
“Of fucking course I would.” I beamed and said fuck it. I tookhis hand in mine and squeezed. “Why don’t you talk about it more?”
“Because I’m in the middle of my junior year season, where every waking thought is about hockey. Because I’m still not sure that’s a viable option.” He sighed and took his hand away from mine. “Because so much could happen in the next year, that I don’t know yet.”
“You have time to make a choice.” I hated how he let go of my hand. “You don’t have to decide now.”
He nodded, his shoulders stiffening. “What about you, Jordan? Where do you see yourself in three years?”
“In a nice condo, downtown Chicago. Working on events for celebrities or sports teams.” I could picture the exposed brick walls I’d dreamed of in my head. The studio would overlook a lake, and I’d have plants everywhere. “I kinda want to live where Logan ends up, but then I’d have to get a place where you lived too. Fuck. I don’t want you guys to move away.” My heart raced at the thought of me being alone, yet again. And I would be, someday soon. My two closest people would move on and live their lives without me.
“That’s a long way away.” Preston’s tone held a hint of bitterness, almost like he was a little angry at me. But before I could ask, he changed his tune. “Enough of this future talk, let’s be irresponsible. I have a wild idea…”
Thirty minutes later, we were both in skates and on the ice. It had been a bit since I skated, but damn, it felt good to be active, even for a little bit. Preston looked like he flew on the ice, so smooth and effortless. I wasn’t nearly as good as he was, but I wasn’t bad.
“Figured it’d be better to go over the layout while on the scene.” Preston came to a stop right by, his familiar scent of cologne and soap wafting around me. He always smelled so damn good.
“We could put the carpets here.” I skated from the main stairs to where he was, letting our earlier conversation disappear into the back of my mind. I could analyze it later. “Then we can place carpets for each of the tables.”
“We’ll need servers on skates though.” Preston frowned. “I hadn’t thought about that. How will we get food to the tables?”
I chewed my lip, visualizing the event in my mind. “We could have people skate, yes, or we have a buffet-style setup right here.” I skated toward the opposite side of the rink. “Definitely layered in carpet. It depends on how much food the cafeteria can provide for us. That’ll have to be a game-time decision.”
“Podium would go…” Preston skated toward the center. “Here, yeah?”
“Yes.” I pulled up my phone and went through my list. We’d talked about everything on there already. “I think we’re good. As good as we’re gonna get for this.”
My phone buzzed, a group chat with our housemates.
Quentin: Theo donated five thousand already. His teammates are following suit.
Logan: OMG this is amazing!
Quentin: Cal Holt heard about the night and is also donating.
Logan: My parents and sister are planning on coming with us tomorrow to help out. Put the Harts to work, J.
My eyes prickled again, overcome with emotion and gratitude. I didn’t deserve this kindness, and everyone was being so helpful. My nose stung, and I sniffed, alerting Preston.
“This is amazing news,” he said, his voice excited. “Hey, are you crying? What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I wiped under my eyes and pocketed my phone. “I’m gonna skate for a minute.”
I didn’t wait for his response before taking off, the muscles in my legs burning as I pushed faster. I hated how I had this response to people being kind. It was normal to have peoplewant to help you when needed. I’d do the same for anyone of these people, yet it felt too heavy when it was toward me.
Why did my parents have to fuck me up so much?
My breath came out in pants, and after a few minutes of skating, I felt Preston catch up to me. “What are you doing?” I shouted over my shoulder.
