“Whoa, whoa.” I held up my hands, urging her to calm the hell down.Together?No, no, no. “We’re not a couple. That’s… not it.”
“Okay, then explain it to me because I am mere mortal who doesn’t understand your mind most of the time.”
I brough her up to speed on everything: the pool, the conversation, helping him sleep, and this morning. Logan gasped andclapped a few times, but the smile disappeared, and a frown replaced it. My stomach twisted, her expression worrying me. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You won’t date him though?” she asked, all of a sudden quieter.
“Correct. I told you I don’t want to get married or date for real. I want to have fun, and Preston has some kink in him. I saw it for a second and want to see more.”
She chewed her lip and scrunched her face for a beat before sighing. “I love you and him and you together, but how can you sleep with him and not get feelings?”
Waving a hand in the air, I brushed her comment away. “I’ve always been built that way. Sex isn’t some moving activity for me. It’s nature. You remember Julian, yeah? He and I were friends for years, and we hooked up twice a month for fun. Never affected a thing between us.”
“Huh.” Logan nudged me, her voice becoming more animated. “That’s so fascinating. I’m not built that way so it’s hard to even comprehend. I couldn’t imagine doing that and being all casual and chill.”
“Not everyone can, and that’s okay.” I knew I was different, but I never was embarrassed. I could separate physical attraction from feelings. Physical attraction was just that. It was also easier when you didn’t believe in love.
Logan clicked her tongue. “I’m not judging at all. I would never. But make sure Preston is okay with this. I’m not sure he’d be able to separate feelings from fun.”
“Nah, he totally could.” I laughed, thinking about the look in his eyes. He was heated, but there was no love or feelings present. Just animalistic lust. “I’m so not his type, and once my internship starts, I’ll be so busy I won’t be at the house. Instead of me dating a bunch of shitty guys to get the urge out of mysystem, I’ll be with Preston. He’s an athlete. He’s fit. I trust him. Win all around.”
“I feel like I’d lose points in the best friend scorecard if I didn’t warn you I think this might be a bad idea.” Logan paused and took a breath, meeting my gaze with a sympathetic look on her face. “I will always support you, and if you truly believe this will work out, then go for it. But I think you do have feelings for Preston deep down. I think you avoid them for obvious reasons, but I’m worried this will do damage to both of you.”
I brushed her concern aside. I knew myself. This would be amazing for both of us. But Logan meant well, and I loved how she looked out for me. “Thank you for caring so much about me.”
“I always will, and you know I’ll gladly admit I was wrong if this turns out to be the affair of the century. Just make sure Preston is on board.”
“Yeah, we’re gonna talk after the game. He seemed super into it, but I want to make sure he’s signing up for this with all the facts.” God, I hoped he said yes. I was already thinking about the next time we’d be together. My stomach swooped—something that rarely happened. I stopped the thought though. This was hockey time. Slugging my arm around Logan’s shoulder, I lowered my head. “I have a theory the guys play better horny. What do you think?”
The restof the game flew by, and while Preston had one of the best games of the season, the Wolves still lost by a final ten second shot. I was so proud of Preston and Quentin for how they played. They led the team with Liam, the three of them each showcasing different leadership styles, but that was the sport. It sometimes came down to one shot in a few seconds.
A pang formed in my chest just thinking about the guys and their reactions. They’d be devastated. Coming in second place was the fucking worst. Third at least meant you won as the final battle, but second was the consolation prize.
“Shit.” Logan crossed her arms, a grim expression on her face. She shook her head and sighed, the heavy weight of supporting a player evident in the way she stood. “This is gonna be a tough one to get over.”
“Bullshit. The last shot like that…” I winced, already imagining Preston’s mood. He’d carry the loss for a while. They all would. They should be proud of making it to the championship, but that pride wouldn’t come for a while. Not when they were in the grief stage of competing. “Poor Brady. Being a goalie is tough.”
“Oof, yeah, he’s gonna be in his head for a minute.” Logan frowned and plopped back down in our chairs. “Damn. I didn’t plan for this. I assumed we’d party and hang out, go to a bar or something.”
“We could distract them and try?”
“Quentin won’t do it.” Logan rubbed her temples. “It’s selfish to think about our guys. They played the best they could, which should help with the post-college options, but it doesn’t help the team or the tournament.”
Our guys.
In a way, the Central State hockey team was the campus’s guys. Everyone rooted for them, but her use of our hit me. Preston was my guy, through and through. He held my hair when I threw up, hugged me when I’d cried after my mom canceled a visit yet again, and saved me from the shitty bar because he knew it was rough. I had to protect him and our friendship at all costs. A flicker ofwhat if this was a bad ideaentered the chat, each scenario worsening.
What if we hooked up and he hated me after? What if hestopped being my friend? What if he developed feelings for me, and I couldn’t return them, then he left me forever?
No. I swallowed, forcing myself to knock it off. This was about the team. I needed to support Preston regardless of what he wanted.
“We do what the guys want.” I shrugged. If Preston needed another night in the pool or to get naked in the hotel room, I’d do whatever he needed to help him get over the loss. Literally anything. “Oh, the ceremony is starting.”
It was a special type of pain to sit through an awards ceremony for getting second. They announced the third-place team first—some team from Ohio. Cheers filled the rink as they handed out the medals.
Wolves were next. “Please welcome our runner-up team, the Central State Wolves!”
Howls rang out as the guys skated up as a group to the announcer. They posed for a photo, each member receiving a medal. There was a decent student section who’d traveled all the way up here. The fans were loyal as hell, and it had to feel good to hear them and see the blue and orange in the stands. Most of the crowd came for the champions, and when the Wolves skated off the ice, it was our time to head up.
