Have you ever almost died from regret? Not like a real death, but an ego one. Like the mortification made the thought of melting into the snow easier than accepting reality. That was how I felt knowing I not only jumped onto Hayden, but then said,I could almost kiss you right now.
Why? Why would those words come out of my mouth?
Plus his entire body turned to ice. Was it in horror? Was he remembering the last time we kissed and didn’t speak for years? We had moments of flirtation, and sure, we’d always had that, but we had just decided to be friends again. What the hell was I doing?
Avoidance. That’s what I should do.
That’s what you did for three years. Worked out well, huh?
Wiping my palms on my thighs, I took a deep breath. I could face him. I’d just say I got carried away with the win or the relief of Penny and Christian acting more like themselves. Yeah. That made sense. Content with my plan, I felt more confident facing the group.
Penny and Christian accepted the money prize, waving their hands like they were in a homecoming parade. I filmed the entire thing, obviously, and couldn’t stop chuckling. They were absolute weirdos, but at least they were on track with the wedding.
“I hate to bring this up now, but we should talk about it,” Hayden said, his deep voice coming way too close to me. He stood with his hands in his pockets, his glasses perched on his nose, and damn. Just damn.
Have you ever slipped on ice? That sudden loss of balance where you swerve left then right, and you aren’t sure if you’ll make it? That was the same feeling I had, where prickles of unease zigzagged from my spine to my feet. I was falling. He wanted to talk about what I said. “It was an accident.”
“We beat—wait, what?”
“No, you go. What?”
Just when I thought I couldn’t be worse, I surprised myself. I crossed my arms to put up a barrier of protection against those glasses. They had superpowers or something. “What do we need to talk about, Hop?” My tone came out a bit too icy. (Ha, which was fair because his comment felt like me crashing through ice.)
He frowned for a beat, confusion swirling in his gray eyes. He opened his mouth but then closed it as he studied me. He must’ve been okay with what he saw, because he smiled. “I think this’ll make you happy to know, but I downloaded the app and checked the scores for the first competitions.”
“Okay.” I didn’t track his line of thought.
His smile shifted to a very Grinch-like playfulness as he tilted his head to the side. “Char. We beat them.”
“We beat everyone?”
“No. Well, yes, but we placed higher than Penny, Garrett, and your brother.” He beamed at this point. “Guess who has to do a dance tomorrow for us? Coordinated and filmed?”
It was slow, but the words finally made sense, and my smile also turned Grinch-like. “Hell yes. We don’t have to DJ!”
“Exactly.” His joy was contagious. “This might be my favorite moment of my life, you know, minus having Gwen.”
“Obviously. That’s hard to top.” My own laughter eased the mortification and tension that lingered. Some of it remained, but not all of it. I could use this, latch onto the fact that those competitive a-holes would have to dance for us.
Something niggled the back of my mind, like a small scratch. It made me pause. “Wait, Hayden.”
“Hm?” He stepped closer. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, but… come here.” I grabbed his elbow and guided us away from Garrett, Penny, and Christian. Hayden stared at my fingers on his arm, and I dropped them. “I know we won overall, and they do seem back to normal, right?”
He nodded.
“I don’t… I don’t want to cause stress to them. What if they really need a DJ and not having one is part of their arguing? We could volunteer, to make sure the wedding happens?”
“You’re killing me, Char.” He groaned and stared up at the ceiling. “How selfish is it for me to not care about thatright now? We won and they lost, and those are facts. I want to enjoy that.”
“Even at the cost of not having a wedding?” I whispered, even though we were far away from them. “Trust me, I also want to see them dance and blackmail them for the rest of my life, but we can’t… maybe it’d be…” I paused, nervous to finish the sentence.
How silly of me. My face heated, and I rubbed my fingers together, hoping the worries escaped with the motion.
“Maybe it’d be what?” he asked, his voice kind.
“A nice way for us to hang out again.” My stupid voice cracked at the wordshang out. “If you want. You know. There’s no… We could also make them separately on a shared playlist. That would be easier.”
