It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. I wasn’t expecting that question. “That’s what you wanted to talk about?”
“Yes.” He pursed his lips and stared out the window, his gorgeous gray eyes reflecting the icy landscape. “You sent your résumé to Garrett. He’s never coached a day in his life.”
“True.” I traced the rim of my glass, studying his micro-expressions. His jaw was tense. His muscles were tight. He squinted his eyes. He wasn’t pleased. “Garrett and I are friends, and he offered. It wasn’t really a question of if I’d have him look it over.”
My sweater stuck to my skin, and I took another long swig. It burned all the way down, but I welcomed it. It was better than this stare down. Hayden had asked to speak with me, not the other way around. I refused to do a thing about this silence.
“You could’ve come to me,” he said, his tone gentle. “I would’ve helped you.”
“And said what, Hayden?” I laughed, but it wasn’t happy. “If you look at the last few years, we barely speak unless it involves Gwen. I love that baby girl more than life itself, and this isn’t about her in the slightest, but when was the last time we spoke of anything besides her?”
His face paled. “You’re right.”
“It became easier to just ignore you, really.” I shrugged, hating the ache in my chest and the prickle in my eyes. “I care about you and Gwen, obviously, but I didn’t feel like going to you for help was an option.”
“Charlotte, I would do anything—”
I waved a hand in the air. “I know, if I was in a dire situation, you’d drop everything. I truly know that. You’d do that for anyone you care about. But advice? Help preparing for an interview? That’s what friends do. Not… whatever we are.”
“You really feel this way, don’t you?” he asked. His face crumpled, and he leaned back in his chair and stared at me.
“Yeah, I do.” I ran a hand over my hair, adjusting the bun at the top, and I winced.
“Are you okay?” He frowned. “Your neck?”
“Whiplash got me.” I rubbed the spot where my neck and shoulder met, closing my eyes as pain radiated throughout my body. “The doc said this would be normal, but wow, didn’t expect that with a little movement.”
“You should be resting.”
“No, I’m fine, Hayden. I didn’t come here to lie in a bed. I could’ve done that at home, in sweats, without crashing my car.” I jumped up. “Wait, did you ever get my car towed? What do I owe you?”
Hayden lifted his hand. “Nothing. All taken care of.”
“Um, no? I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s fine, Char. We can worry about it once we get back home, okay? You need to focus on relaxing your muscles and winning this stupid competition. Not a few hundred bucks.”
I fought the urge to argue with him and bit my tongue. Hayden was a man of actions, not words. He showed he cared by doing things, like the time in high school he drove a very drunk Christian home and hid it from my parents.I’d figure out a way to get him the money back, so I smiled. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He sighed and leaned his forearms onto his knees, a serious look crossing his face. “I’m sorry.”
I desperately wanted him to clarify if it was for breaking my heart or not, but it wasn’t the time. This moment was about the present, about our relationship now. An uncomfortable itch formed behind my chest, the familiar sign of guilt right behind it. “I am too. You can’t bear the weight of everything.”
A beat passed, and he nodded, almost like he wanted the conversation to end and move to the next topic. “We’re here now, together, for Christian and Penny, doing all sorts of weird holiday shit.”
“A perfect time to be friends again,” I blurted.
“Okay then.” He smiled. “Now, talk to me about this job.”
I shrugged. Talking about this would be a great first step in reconnecting as friends. “My athletic director told me I’m too young to apply for the varsity position.”
“That’s bullshit and illegal.” Hayden’s jaw tensed. “He can’t say that to you.”
“I know, but it happened. That’s the small-town world I work in. It’s all a boys’ network, where they have each other’s backs, and it’s all who you know.” I pulled the edges of my sleeves up to cover the tips of my fingers. “The baseball, basketball, and football coaches are all buds with this new guy, Chad Rogers. He’s the front-runner for the position.”
“I don’t give a damn about Chad Rogers.” Hayden placed both of his large hands on top of the table, spreading his fingers out like he was pushing it away from him.
“You talk like I have a shot at this,” I whispered.
