“I’ve already cried ten times today. Weddings areemotional.” I laughed, cried, sniffed, and snorted. A real sexy combo. Hayden pulled me close, hugging me so there was no room between us. “I love you and want this. All of it. Let’s do this for real. No secrets. No making choices for the other. I think we’ll be happy.”
“More than happy,” he said against my temple and then my lips. “I need to kiss you, touch you. Can I spend the next fifteen minutes showing you how much I love you, please?”
“If it involves you getting out of this tux, then yes.” I wiggled my brows, earning another chuckle from him. “I want to hear that laugh every day, Hayden.”
“I love you. Then, now, always.”
“Then, now, always,” I repeated, finally feeling content. We’d have ups and downs, but for the first time, I knew we were meant to be together. And damn, that felt good.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
HAYDEN
My stomach churned, and my palms were clammy, slick with nervous sweat as I shoved them in my pockets. Today was the day. Gwen was going to meet her grandparents—
Sarah and Phillip Barringer. Simone had opted out, which was probably for the best.
We exchanged five text messages, had one phone call, and agreed to meet at one of Gwen’s favorite parks. Anderson Park was located about ten minutes from our house. It was a safe location, one she knew well, which mattered. She knew she was meeting her grandparents, but that meant she had a lot of other questions to ask.
So will I ever get to meet my mom? When? Will I call her Mom? My best friend Paxton has two moms. They are nice. I have two Gigis then.
Will they like me? Do they like dinosaurs?
Explaining the complex reality to a three-year-old was hard as hell.
“Breathe, Hayden.” Charlotte ran her hand up and down my back. It was a rare mild day in December, with a high of fifty. Gwen wore her bright pink coat and no hat as she ran around chasing birds. “She’ll be okay.”
“I know Gwen will.” I swallowed. “I can’t help but feel this overwhelming, heart-wrenching fear of someone hurting her. Or disappointing her. Or wanting to be in her life but then leaving it. I wish I could ensure no one would hurt her for the rest of her life.”
“That’s all valid. I don’t want that for Gwen either.” She reached for my forearm, pulling my hand from my pocket and interlocking our fingers. Her palm pressed against mine, her hand soft and warm, and then she kissed the back of it. “But that is unfortunately life. We can’t control who or what happens, but you can be Gwen’s rock. We all can be. She has a tight circle around her, always there to lift her up if she’s sad. Sarah and Phillip might want to be a part of her life, or they might not. She deserves the chance to know them though.”
Hearing those words, I immediately recalled the way their voices cracked on the phone, the way they cried when they asked questions about their granddaughter… They were already in love with her, and they had only seen the photo I sent. “They want to be in her life. I can tell. They sounded so pleased when I agreed to meet in person.”
“Look at you, defending them already.” She laughed softly just as Gwen screamed with glee as she stomped in a puddle.
“Footprints, Daddy! Watch!” She ran onto the sidewalk, slamming her feet down and laughing at the marks she had left. “I have big feet.”
“Yes, you do, Gwennie.” Charlotte bent down andruffled her hair. “You are so cute. Could you be any cuter? Any more creative and wilder?”
“Nope. I’m perfect. That’s what my daddy says.” My daughter beamed with her toothy smile.
I snorted.
“I love your self-confidence, missy. It’s super important to be proud of yourself.”
Gwen spun in a circle, just as a car door shut. I glanced toward the parking lot as a man and woman walked toward us. Instantly, I knew it was them. My skin prickled with nerves, and my heart thudded. Sarah had the same dark hair that Gwen did, her eyes brown, and the same chin.
Gwen didn’t resemble my mom at all, so it was cool to see the resemblance immediately.
“Hey,” Charlotte said to me, “I’m going to take her to the swings. I love you. You can do this. Just find my hand if you need it, okay?”
I swallowed and then nodded.
Charlotte picked up Gwen and spun her around, the sounds of their combined laughter echoing off the sidewalk. My girls ran to the red swings, where Gwen dove onto one, gripping the chains as she tried swinging herself. Charlotte made a big scene, pretending not to be able to push her because Gwen was so big.
I waited. This was more tense than any game I had ever played. Even though I knew they would be safe, it was my instinct, my need, to protect my daughter. Most baggage came from Simone, that I knew, but as Sarah and Phillip approached, I tried my hardest to put myself in their shoes.They had missed out on so much already. This had to be just as hard for them.
“Hi, Hayden.” Sarah greeted me with a shy smile. “It’s so nice to meet you in person.”
