I wanted to tell her I loved her, and now with the injury, I could easily follow her whenever she wanted to go. I’d dowhatever she wanted without blinking. But I kept seeing her crestfallen face, the way her eyes watered, and felt like shit.
She had to be so upset with me.
What if she doesn’t forgive you?
You barely had her trust back. What if you broke it?
You could’ve sent a text, you stupid ass.
“How long will this take?” I asked the pre-surgery nurse. There was a fancier name for her role, but she wore a mask and looked badass.
“A few hours, then we’ll get you to your recovery room.”
“Is my phone in here?” I couldn’t recall where the hell it was since Luca had given it to me. Maybe my mom had it?
“No. We’re about to go into surgery.”
“Okay, yeah, of course. I forgot to tell my girl I love her, that’s all.”
“You can as soon as you’re out. Hold it together, loverboy.” She wheeled the cot into a backroom when my nerves suddenly hit.
I hadn’t been under before. Ivy had, numerous times. As a child. Fuck. I wished she was here. I couldn’t catch my breath. What if I died? What if I never got to see her again?
“Hey, we’ll walk you through the anesthesia, okay? Deep breaths. It’ll super quick and easy.”
My eyes watered as she prepped the room. I had so many regrets, all of them hitting me at the moment. The time lost with Ivy, the fact I still hadn’t seen my dad. Fuck. I should text him back. Just… for like… a coffee. My sister having a baby! I wouldn’t be so focused on football, so I could be the best uncle to ever uncle. My mom… she was dating? I could ask her questions instead of being weird.
What a time to have an entire life epiphany, thirty seconds from being put to sleep. Oh shit. Was this what the animals felt too when they were put down?
“Count backwards from ten, Callum.”
“Ten, nine, eight…”
Fuckkkkkk.My leg hurt like a bitch. Where were my meds?
“He’s up. Look at me.”
“So precious.”
“This won’t humble him though, I guarantee it.”
“Why are you fucks here?” I groaned and found Luca, Dean, Xavier, and Oliver in my room. “Who let you in? Where is my mom?”
“Never took you for a momma’s boy, but it tracks.” Dean grinned and held out my phone. “Figured you’d want this.”
“Ivy.” I yanked the phone into my hands and scanned messages, looking for her name. I had hundreds of texts from people who didn’t matter as much as her. I found our thread, and nothing was there.
Not a word from her.
“Did she know I had surgery?” I glanced my guys and winced. They seemed annoyed at me. “What happened?”
“The girls went to her place.” Dean ran a hand over his jaw. “I’ve been updating Lo to update Ivy.”
“I fucked up.” I groaned into my hands, my stomach weighing me down like a thousand-pound weight. “Help me.”
“I don’t know what happened. We’re not judging. We don’t do that,” Dean said.
“I do.” Luca’s grumpy ass chimed in. “But I get why you did it. She just needs to see that.”
