“I’m not doing this,” Luca growled. “I don’t do shots.”
“Ah, but what about the summer playbook our girls are doing?”
“Ourgirls?” Luca said, his tone going dark. “Notyourgirls, Callum.”
“I beg to differ. I’m invited to girls’ nightandwill help Mack with her naughty and wild list. Pretty sure that makes me one of them.” Callum smirked and tossed the shot back with ease. “Ah, tequila. Yes. Makes me feel spicier.”
Mack and a naughty and wild list…a warm, unfamiliar tension weaved its way in my gut thinking about her and those adjectives together.
“God, you’re annoying,” Luca said. He downed the shot, didn’t show a single emotion, and hit his fist on the bar. “Lo doesn’t invite me to girls’ nights.”
“Yeah, because you’re with her. It’s different. I can’t make up the rules, but it’s cute how your jealousy is showing. You should tuck it back in, Monroe.”
“Callum, come here!”
He craned his neck. “Ah, your woman needs me. I shouldn’t keep Lo waiting, hm?”
Callum hit my shoulder before returning to the table with the girls. I could almost feel Luca’s irritation in the air, swirling around us in a cloud of gray. He was my best friend and closestteammate, and he was the definition of grumpy. Was I really turning into that because of what happened?Because of Jessica.
“Some days I hate him.” Luca pinched his nose. “Others, he’s great.”
“I know the feeling.” I chewed the inside of my cheek, watching Callum slide into the booth so that he was next to Mack and Lo. Mackenzie Mallinson—my sister’s teammate and best friend—rested her head on his shoulder like he was some sort of comfort. A weird, unfamiliar pang formed in my chest, but I blamed it on the damn tequila shot. “I think this list is a dumb idea. Who needs a checklist to have fun?”
“You’re asking the wrong person here, but Lo looks happy, more than happy, so we are gonna support this notion even if it’s the worst thing to ever exist.”
“Worse than bacon-scented candles?” I teased. I bought Luca one for our Christmas gift exchange two years ago, and holy shit, the dude hated it. Every time I lit it, he walked into the kitchen excited for bacon only to be fooled. It was honestly an excellent prank.
“Fuck your dumbass candle.” Luca’s lips twitched. “It feels good to see you joke.
“Icanbe funny when I want to.”
“On that note, when the fuck are you gonna tell your sister the truth about what happened? You’re testing my patience on hiding this from her. I will not let you cause a strain in our relationship, and she keeps asking what the hell is going on.”
“You’ve made it clear,” I grumbled. Luca was a good dude, the best teammate, and honestly great for my twin sister. The problem was, I selfishly missed him being mine first. He was still a great ass friend, but his allegiance shifted when Lo was involved. He knew what happened to me last fall and pushed me to talk about it, when I would rather lick the floor of this bar than mention feelings.
Orher.
Or me.
I chugged the rest of the beer, ignoring his glare. Sometimes—like now—I was glad he was on my team on the field because he could be scary as shit.
“Dean, it fucked you up. You haven’t spoken about with anyone but me, and I honor that, but you’re changed.”
“Of course I’m different.” I gripped the back of my neck, the same dark thoughts circling like they had since last fall. It had been eight months sinceit happened,and everything still hurt. I’d pushed myself physically to distract and in the process, accidentally alienated those closest to me.
My family was big on feelings and hashing things out, but it was like all those experiences didn’t mean shit now. “I… need more time.”
“I physically am repelled by what I’m about to say to you, so know this is how desperate I am.” He cleared his throat and stared at the ceiling. “Christ, help me. Okay. Here it goes. You should have your own list to get your head out of your ass.”
GYHOOYA.
“The GYHOOYA list?” I made an acronym. It was a useless, unbearable character trait of mine that showed up in the worst moments. Like the time Lo had her girls’ days to relax and have fun, so it was the AGDTRAHF, pronouncedahg-dtra-huff.
Useless. But amusing to me, so that meant something.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” Luca closed his eyes. “I’m heading to the bathroom then joining Lo. She made me promise to have her head home early since she works tomorrow.”
“She’s loving her internship, right?”
