Was it to my top three teams? Yes.
Was I beyond excited? Also, yes.
Was I also terrified? Yes.
Terrified because this was the next step? Sure, but it was about Dean. My stomach flipped, half excited, half worried about what the future would mean. I would live in the city, but he could end up anywhere in the country.
Could we survive distance?
I swallowed, shaking off the nerves. I hated being this person, worrying before something happened, but it was hard when the NFL draft was in a few weeks, and our future would be determined. Even if we did somehow end up in Chicago together, we could be traded at any time, doing distance, always trying to see each other…
“You’re doing it again, aren’t you?” Dean tensed his jaw, his gaze darkening. “Thinking about all the situations and stressing.” He ran a finger over the strap of my swimsuit, gently caressing my skin around my neck with a soft sigh. “What has you stressed, baby? Us living in different cities?”
I nodded, my eyes prickling. My throat tightened, and I focused on the couple ahead of us. They were an older couple with young kids and smiling. I wanted that. “I just—”
“I want a fucking lifewith you.That means, accepting all parts of you, which includes soccer. I can’t wait to see you play in Chicago and wear your jersey. I’m so proud to be with you, and we can get through anything.”
“I know, I feel the same.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What if you end up in California? That’s a long flight. One we—”
“So, we take turns visiting each other. We rack up all the points we can and take a bad ass trip to Australia in a few years. Always wanted to go there.” He rolled over and caged my facein his hands as he stared at me hard. “It honestly doesn’t matter where we live. You own me completely. There is no world with you and me in it where we aren’t together. We get each other’s good parts and bad and push each other to be better. I almost wish I could propose right now and see Romano on the back ofyourjersey, just so everyone knew you were mine. Might be dramatic, but I’m a Romano, and that’s all we know.”
My eyes stung more, and a tear slid down my cheek. He swiped it with his thumb as a soft look crossed his face. I loved that tender look, the face only I got to see because he was the quarterback to everyone else. “You sound so confident.”
“Because I am. Do we need to make another list of all the reasons this will work? I can. It can be our professional athlete playbook.”
“You’re a dork.” I sniffed, laughing at how excited he seemed. “I know this spring break trip was supposed to be a way to relax and have fun, but every time I’m not doing something, I think about the draft for you and how hard the next year of our lives will be.”
“So, we work at it.” He narrowed his eyes for just a beat. “You’re not backing out on me, Mack, are you? My girl doesn’t back down from a challenge. She embraces it at every angle.”
“No, I’m not…I just…I’ve loved this year more than I ever thought, and I know I have amazing friends and a teammate, and I was drafted, but I loveyouso much it scares me. Life outside Central State will be different. We won’t see our friends all the time, we’ll grow apart, and—”
“And yeah, we do new things. It’s gonna be awesome as hell.” He frowned, his gaze bouncing between my lips and eyes. “You keep biting your lip, and it’s cute, and I want to kiss you, but this is serious, so I’ll be right back.”
He rubbed the upper part of my back before jogging away from me. We were early risers, so we were at the beach beforeour friends. We’d rented a house with the girls and guys, hoping to party it up as our senior year spring break. It was our last day there, and it had me feeling melancholic.
Which wasn’t me.
I embraced life. I took it and enjoyed every second.So why was I freaking out?
Because I loved Dean so much and was worried about our futures changing. Luca and Lo were moving in together after our lease was done. Wherever he got drafted, she would follow. No questions asked. Her career could follow his. Callum and his girl had a plan, one that wasn’t tainted with distance, and Oliver, well, him and his new girl were both townies, so they’d always wanted to stay in central Illinois.
I pushed up and took a long sip of water, the Florida sun warming me up. If I focused on the pinpoint of stress—it was the fear Dean wouldn’t want to stay with me after a few months. I could do it, succeed in my career and endorse his. Because one thing wasn’t going to change with this: me giving up soccer. That would never happen. Coach Em started me on this path and honestly, with some distance, I was thankful. She might’ve done it in terrible ways, but she prepared me to get to this point. I’d never hug her or thank her for the emotional damage she did, but my dream was happening. I’d play professional soccerwhilekeeping my friends and being with the love of my life.
Even if that meant we did distance for ten years, the only other option was to break up, and that… no.
No.
Not fucking happening.
I could only control what I could control (Wise, I know), but we both would never give up our sport or ask the other to, so that meant accepting the things we could change. Like being together long-distance or traveling or sharing a place in our off-seasons. Hell, we had three months of no season at all. Maybe we could afford two places? One in each city? Yeah. We could do that.
“Okay, Mack, I have it.”
Dean jogged back to me, his muscles rippling with the movement. He tanned well and fast, and mama likey. Even after all these months together, I still thought he was so hot. It made me giggle sometimes that I got to kiss him anytime I wanted.
I smiled, and he noticed, his brows furrowing. “What’s with the grin?”
“You’re sexy and all mine. Just appreciating that fact before your face is nationwide.”
