“I’m not angry with you. I’m hurtingwith you,for you, wishing I could do something to help you. Same with Lo and Luca and the guys. No one is mad at you. We all lo—care—want the best for you. No one is upset with you if that’s on your mind.”
“Even though I missed my chance with you?”
“Why would you think that?”
“I asked you on the date last night for a reason.” I fell back onto the pillow, choosing to be a coward and stare at the ceiling instead of her.No. Be better.It’d be simpler to take the easy route with this, but Mack deserved more. Facing her, I took oneof her hands in mine. “I said I wanted to celebrate the summer, but my dumbass thought it’d be better to surprise you with the truth. I wanted to talk to Lo about it first before confessing how I felt about you, to you. I should’ve just told you when I woke up in that tent happier than I ever have been. It would’ve been more romantic than this shitstorm. Jessica showing up sent me spiraling.”
Mack nodded, understanding written all over her face. “Do you recall what I said to you before passing out last night?”
I frowned. I recalled feeling overjoyed, but I blamed the vodka. “No. And I’m sorry if that upsets you.”
She laughed and kissed the back of my hand. “I told you I loved you.”
My jaw clenched, and my lungs seized. Loved. Loved. “As in, you don’t anymore?”
“Oh my God, are you always so literal hungover? Not past tense. Current. Hopelessly. I love you. In love with you. I don’t give a shit about football, to be honest, I just love you as the person you are. Even the messy parts.”
“You love me.” I repeated it, my heart thudding so hard it was a little worrying. My limbs tingled. My throat closed up. Everything felt too much all of a sudden. Was it hot, or was that the sweats? “Mackenzie.” I gulped. “Mackenzie. Youloveme.”
She giggled, a sweet, glorious sound that I wanted to keep for the rest of my life and nodded. “Yes. I think I always have a little, but after this summer? You are incredible.” She traced her pointer finger over the back of my hand, the gesture sending bolts of electricity through me.
“I came over here to make sure you were okay. Because that’s what you do if someone you love is hurting. If you’re worried about blowing it or missing your shot, you didn’t. I want to be with you if you want this too. Even if you don’t love me but care for me, I’m not someone who demands it back. I’mtelling you because it matters to me that you know. Even if we end this, I don’t regret a single thing with you. I never will either. This summer has meant more to me than you’ll ever know.”
I swallowed down the ball of emotion, and it felt like swallowing a rolled-up sock. She stared at me with so much fucking love it was overwhelming. She’d made mecold bacon—my favorite hungover snack. She stayed with me all night, even after I’d ghosted her. No one had done anything like this in my life. She took care of me. I was so used to ensuring everyone else was okay: my sister, my teammates, my housemates. But no one went out of their way for me.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, overcome with feeling everything. How could I be with this woman when I’d never done the boyfriend thing? I’d mess up. I could come up with all the reasons, but she deserved the truth and nothing else. Staring at her eyes, I took a final breath.
“I’ve never been in love before, Mack. I mean, I love my team and my family, but with someone else? It’s a new thing for me. Is love thinking about someone all the damn time? Because I do. I see you in the sun and the way the fresh-cut grass reminds me of you or rainbows. Hell, every time I see a color, I think of your hair and the way you smiled at me in the mirror when it was done. Is love feeling your actual heart beat faster around someone? Because feel my chest, Mack.”
I took her hand and put in over my heart. “It’s beating so fucking hard because of hearing you tell me youloveme? Its… its maddening in the best way. Is love wanting to be with you all the time? Because I do. Is love putting yourself so far outside of your comfort zone it scares the shit out of you? Because I’m there. I want to try this with you. I want to date you, and even though my heart is fucked because of Jessica, I want to try this with you. I want your smiles, your laughs, your lists, and to celebrate your wins and help you through loses.” I gulped down the feelings and exhaled. “Does that sound okay?”
She nodded, her eyes watery as she blinked back a few tears. “Sounds a little like love, Romano.”
“Then I guess I’m a little in love with you, Mallinson.” I said the words, then shook my head. “No, I’m definitely in love with you. Nothing little about it.” I grinned, ignoring the searing pain in my head, and laughed. “Holy shit. Yeah, I love you. I’ve never said that in this way before, and I thought it’d be scarier.”
“I’m scared.” She chewed her lip, scooting closer to me. “I’m terrified, Dean, but that won’t keep me from wanting this with you.” She traced a finger over my eyebrow, a small smile teasing her lips. “I want to wear your jersey at your games. I want everyone to know you belong to me.”
“Deal. Done. Yes.” I pulled her into my lap, nuzzling my favorite spot by her neck and collarbone. “We can figure out a schedule that works for us. We’ll compromise. I don’t want this adventure to end.” I kissed her temple, her cheek, then her mouth softly. “I’d kiss you more, but my breath is probably brutal.”
“Oh, it’s horrible, but I don’t care.” She kissed me again, laughing into my mouth. “If we’re shifting from the summer playbook to the dating playbook, I have a few rules.”
“Yeah?” I tilted her chin, unable to keep my smile off my face. “Name ‘em.”
“The first—youneverghost me again. I’m forgiving this time, but next time I’ll kick your ass.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you, but that will never fucking happen again.” I kissed her forehead, still hating that I hurt her at all. “What’s your next rule?”
“If you’re sad and want to get drunk, call me. I’ll join you. We’ll either do it together or find a challenge to complete.”
“I can dig it. Anything else?”
She pursed her lips. “Nope, that’s it for me.”
“Okay, good.” I flipped her over onto her back, and I crawled up her body. The hangover was still there, but it dulled in comparison to how happy I was right now. “My rules, are you ready?”
She nodded.
“First, you wear my jersey on game days. Maybe evenjustthat.”
