Fuck!My stomach felt like it was full of acid. I reached out and grabbed the guy next to me. The two minutes Alice and Chris were gone from the room felt like a lifetime. My brain tried analyzing their expressions in the seconds before they spoke. Alice’s eyebrows were drawn together and lines danced on her forehead, and Chris’s lips were turned down on both sides.
“He’s stabilized,” Alice said. “They’re waiting for the brain swelling to go down. Then, they’ll assess him for any brain damage. They’re… hopeful.”
Relief flowed through me because the diagnosis could’ve been worse. Dexter wasn’t in the clear, but he was alive. More prayers were said, a couple of guys cussed under their breath, and Dexter’s parents disappeared into their son’s hospital room.
“Coach, can I talk to you?” Dean looked nothing like the cocky guy I’d known for the past two years. The overtalkative, charismatic flirt with easy smiles now appeared broken, his eyes watering and his hands trembling as he ran them through his hair. “Please?”
“Sure.” I led us to a private nook, away from the growing crowd. The fact they all left their families to be here meant… everything. Maybe there was more loyalty in them than I’d thought. It shouldn’t take an accident to bring everyone together, but this was a good sign. Maybe I hadn’t totally failed them.
“What’s going on, Dean?”
Dean focused on the ground, shuffling his feet back and forth. “I was with him.”
“With Dexter?”
“Yes.” He blinked, his face blanching before he sniffed. “It’s my fault.”
“What is? The accident?”
“I let him drive. I shouldn’t have. I knew he was probably over the limit, but I didn’t stop him.” His voice shook, and his entire body sagged. “This is all my fault. The holiday party, the booze. What if he doesn’t make it, Coach? I can’t… I just…” He stopped and sobbed.
I pulled him into my arms and hugged him tight. I couldn’t imagine the guilt he carried, and his cries made my chest ache. It wasn’t Dean’s fault that Dexter chose to drive drunk. How many times had they partied? A hundred?
“Listen to me, Dean.” Keeping my hands on his arms, I pushed him away just far enough to make eye contact. “You can’t think like that. It’s not productive. Be strong for the team.”
“I didn’t stop him. I—”
“Shh.” I waited until his eyes met mine. “Dexter made his own decision. He’s his own person. No one is blaming you, and you shouldn’t put this on yourself. Tell me you understand.”
He nodded, his lips trembling. “I-I understand.”
“Good. Let’s head back, but you call me anytime, alright?” I squeezed his shoulder, leading us back toward the waiting room.
We needed to stay together as a team. To support Dexter and his parents, to support each other regardless of what happened. But more importantly, to use this moment as a learning opportunity. The team needed a redirect.
The cackle of the TV filled the room. I cleared my throat, rocking back on my heels as I scanned the faces in the room. We needed to do something.
“I’m officially inviting everyone over to my house.” I raised my voice so everyone heard me. “We’ll have food to eat, places to sleep, and ears to listen if you need to talk. I’ll reach out to the other players, too.”
A couple of the guys nodded, but most of them looked at me with wide eyes, like I’d announced I hated winning. I shouldn’t have taken it personally, but I wasn’t that naïve. My reputation preceded me, and Becca’s words about me being grumpy echoed through my mind.
She would be so pleased.
If she wants me.
No. It wasn’t the time to think about her urgency to return to her house. The second I got the call, I’d raced to the hospital with nothing more than a shouted goodbye to her. Even now, I scanned my phone, desperate to find her number from two years ago. I’d deleted it, her name nowhere to be found. I ran a hand through my hair, a desperate need to talk to her making me jittery. My team had to come first. She’d understand. She had to.
“Coach, there’s something taped to your door.”
I squinted at the door, and sure enough, there was an envelope right in the middle. “Huh. Thanks. Grab it for me, would you? I’m going to bring in the supplies.”
“You got it.”
Dean had shadowed me since our conversation hours earlier, and for the first time since meeting him, he had a humbleness about him. Dexter’s accident aged every one of the guys, and I knew our lives would change forever.
“I’m glad you’re having us all over here, Coach. The thought of going back to my place alone or bringing the mood down at my parents’ house… I can’t do it.” Dean hung his head.
“We’re a team, and that means family. Family belongs together through the good times and the bad.”
