I nodded, hoisting my small bag over my shoulder and already moving toward the door when once again, Cal wasright there. “If I’m going to be working with you every day, we certainly don’t need to walk together.”
“It’s almost midnight.”
“Thank you, I can tell time. Analog too. Shocking for a blonde, hm?” I flipped my hair over my shoulder, enjoying how his frown deepened. The shock of Charlie’s news, the high of earning two hundred dollars in tips, and the full moon had me in complete sass-mode.
“Elle, please.” He gently touched my elbow with two fingers, stopping me for a second. His touch sent shivers up and down my arm.
“What did I do for you to hate me?”
“Aren’t you used to being an asshole? Isn’t that your entire persona? The hotshot future NHLer with a chip on his shoulder? A dick to everyone but no one calls you out because you mightmake it big?Well, I don’t give a shit.” I tugged away from him, the adrenaline from the first night waning. Plus, my feet ached. I wanted fuzzy socks and pajamas and to maybe re-read what I wrote earlier. Escape into my fictional world where I could control the happy endings. Where I didn’t have to answer to anyone else or defend my choices. A world where guys like Cal didn’t call me stupid or tell me that my goals were dumb and that creative writing was a joke. I would never be Gabe or a hockey player, and comments likehisjust reminded me of the fact.
He winced and stepped back.
I never thought I’d have a comeback witty enough to wound someone, let alone Cal Holt. His face contorted into pain for one second before he shook his head, and the mask was back in place. The emotionless, hard expression he had every time I saw him. Even on the ice, it was the same.
“Whoa, that was a step too far,” I said, regret forming low in my belly. I twisted my fingers along the strap of my bag and exhaled. My mind went right back to that night, where he’dmade me feel even smaller and had gotten my parents to laugh, but being cruel wasn’t who I was.
Cal remained where he stood, his face hard. “No, you’re right. That’s me.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. I’m tired and crashing. I forgot to eat dinner because I was so excited to start. I’m notmewhen I’m hungry. I’m the Snickers commercial.” My words came out too fast, too slurred together in haste to get Cal to forgive me. I might be right and feel that way about him, but I had no business saying it to him. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.”
He didn’t look fine, but that wasn’t my problem. Did he deserve my forgiveness? Probably not, but I wasn’t raised to be an asshole, ever. Neither Gabe or I were. Maybe it was the Catholic guilt that never went away. My stomach soured, and I tried to stop myself from feeling so terrible, but my mind wasn’t that strong.
“I’m making a frozen pizza. It’s not fancy. Just a Jack’s pepperoni. Want some?”
He blinked, his eyes widening for a second before he slowly said, “Yes.”
Damn.The invitation was an olive branch, but never did I think he’d accept? My teeth pressed down over my bottom lip as I tried to smile, but it came out weird, and I ducked my head. “Alright, let’s go. I’m starving.”
“You should eat before your shift. Or tell Charlie, and he’ll give you a break.”
“I know. It’s always been a thing with me. My friends, parents, family all give me shit for it. I can get caught up in my head at times and forget to eat. Which, honestly is wild because I love food.”
“Youforgetto eat?” He opened the doors to our building, motioning with his left hand for me to go first.
I did the good old Midwestern head nod of thanks before answering. “I get busy, and time jumps.”
“God, I’d love for time to jump for me.” He sighed as he let his arm hang down. The movement caused his cologne to waft toward me, and I tried not to breathe it in. Scents were dangerous for me because it was my strongest sense.
As humans, we had thousands of associations with smells, but I always felt like I had twice as many. His clean, soapy smell with a hint of evergreen was damn good. Made me think of cardigan sweaters, dates at a bookstore, and late-night coffee. Said coffee would keep us up all night, talking about our dreams and wishes, which would lead to a morning date.
Damn.I did it again.
Cal stared at me as I got my keys out of my bag. I avoided his eyes but felt his gaze. He might’ve said something, but I certainly didn’t hear it. I was too busy imagining a late night with him all because he smelled good.
No more dinner invites.
“Sorry.” My face heated, and I tossed my keys on the counter as we walked in. “I was doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Getting lost in my head. It’s a character flaw.” I preheated our oven and set the pizza on the counter. Cal stood awkwardly near the door. His body was so built, and his biceps in his T-shirt were taunting me.Look at me! Look at me!
Muscles didn’t talk, but if they did… his would be all attention-seeking. I figured he was a gym rat, but he seemed even bigger than when I saw him last fall. And his hair was longer, like he hadn’t cut it in months. It worked on him. Him being in my place though…I shouldn’t be thinking about his hair or muscles. Not at all.
“What do you think about when you…get lost?” He crossed his arms over his chest and lowered his brows. The stance andexpression were a tad intimidating, but I refused to let him belittle me again.
