“Thank you.” She kissed me quickly, softly, before pulling back. “That’s what I needed. Just, thank you.”
I’d do anything for you.I wanted to say it, but my words got tripped up as my heart tried to figure out what was happening. A burning sensation formed and grew, and my mind panicked. “I’m gonna, uh, toss this out.”
I tied off the condom and threw it in the trash, desperate to get back to her but also confused. Why wouldn’t I say those words to her when I felt them down to my core?
Because I’m scared.That was why.
I curled up around her, thankful she didn’t say anything, and fell asleep.
I woke up with my entire body enclosed around Elle. She smelled like sleep and vanilla, and I inhaled her scent before slowly rolling away from her.
I’m so glad I have you.She’d said those words to me.
Last night had been about comfort. Being there for each other. We’d gone through a traumatic moment together. That was all. She’d wanted sex as a distraction. I’d done that before too with lots of women. Distraction from life. I got it.
That was all it was.
Eggs. I should make breakfast for her. She’d barely gotten to eat the trail mix I brought, and I bet she was hungry. I could make coffee too.
Yeah. The sleepy, emotional sex wasn’t anything more than comfort after the fight.
I would’ve been just as upset if Alex had been threatened.No.Not true. Alex was a black belt and could kick my ass. I wanted them safe, I wasn’t an asshole, but the emotions were not the same when I compared the two.
But what did that mean?
I cracked eggs of the pan and put bacon in the microwave over paper towels. Did Elle like bacon? Most people had to, right?
Why didn’t I have bread for toast? Ugh. I shut the fridge, annoyed that I couldn’t prepare a real meal for Elle. We had to clean all day, and we’d burn a shit ton of calories. Okay, I had yogurt and fruit. She could eat that too.
Good. Content with my meal, I made sure the eggs didn’t burn. Now the coffee. I didn’t know if she liked it strong or mild, so I went with medium. That was safe. I stretched my arms above my head, my pulse racing. It was essential this breakfast was perfect. I didn’t know why, but it was true. Pacing until the eggs and bacon were done, my gaze kept going to my room. She’d get up soon, probably. What did I say to her besides good morning?
I’d never had anyone spend the night before, and I wasn’t handling it well. Not at all.
Juice! Elle might like juice. I checked the fridge, and fuck. No orange or apple juice. I might have time to run out and get some if I was quick.
“Morning.”
“You want juice?” I fucking yelled at her.
She blinked in surprise, sleep lines covering her face as she hesitantly walked toward me. “Um, I feel like I should say yes.”
“I don’t have any.”
She blinked again. “That’s alright.”
“Good. Great.”
Jesus, pull it together.
“Food?” I gestured to the table, like a fucking butler. Elle pressed her lips together, her eyes dancing with amusement.
“Cal, are you okay?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged, hard, and let my hands hit the sides of my thighs in a real dramatic way. “I’m freaking out because I’ve never had anyone stay over before, and I want to make sure you’re fed to help clean today, and I don’t know what this means.”
She took a breath, padding one foot in front of the other before sitting down at the chair I still held onto. She pressed her lips together, keeping her face blank. “It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”
“What?” It totally meant something! I felt it in my chest. But I was a twat who couldn’t express it.
