“Cal,” I said, panting between kisses. I gripped his pecs, the muscles connecting his shoulders to his neck. I didn’t even know what they were called, but his were big and thick enough to hold onto.
“I know,” he growled, moving his mouth along my jawline with light kisses. The opposite of his featherlight touch of his mouth to the aggressive grip of his fingers did me in. Then he nipped my neck and inhaled. “I could eat you up.”
“I’d let you.” My body trembled with need. I wrapped my legs around his waist, rocking into him, and he bit down on my collarbone. “Cal.”
He slid one hand inside my shirt on my lower back, gliding it up toward where my bra was, and he traced the lining. His body shook too, I was pretty sure, but it could’ve been my own shaking distracting me. His eyes never left mine as he moved his fingers around to dance along my ribcage. I sucked in a breath, my lower gut throbbing. His lips were wet, from me, and his nostrils flared as he traced the outline of one nipple.
Explosions went off inside me. Like a trapped firework. The sensation was divine, and he smiled at me. “I need to hear you scream for me.”
I shivered at his words. I’d do whatever he wanted if he kept his hands on me. I nodded, desperate and on fire as he bent his head and sucked my nipple through my shirt and bra. I jerked my hips forward, feeling how hard he was, and groaned. “Yes.”
Something clicked in the background, but all I cared about were his fingers moving down my stomach and over my thighs. It smelled like cleaner and beer, and I didn’t even care we were on a table. He needed to touch me, now.
“Shit, sorry!” someone said, someone who wasn’t Cal.
I opened my eyes as the front door swung shut. I met Cal’s gaze for a second, the same lingering heat in his before I said, “Oh my god.”
An icy splash to my libido.
A patron saw us do that. Fuck.
Mortification grew through my body, and I had to get off the table, now. “Did you see who that was? Oh my god. A customer could’ve seen that! I thought the door was locked.”
He worked a hand over his jaw a few times. “I did too.” His voice was gravelly and deeper in timbre. He breathed hard and didn’t look the least bit worried.
“Charlie would kill us. Shit.” I adjusted my own hair and shirt. There was a wet spot where Cal’s mouth had been, and heat and embarrassment flooded into one horrible combination.Regret.I’d kissed him without permission and then we did… whatever that was.
With the realization someone saw us, my mood dampened, and the letdown without release made me want to cry. I couldn’t lose this job—I loved it too much. “We should go.”
“Right.”
It was painfully awkward as I quickly wiped down the table and made my way to the door. We’d crossed the line, more than crossed it with that kiss. We stumbled into the phase after friends but not quitetogether.Was he thinking about every touch like I was? Or the fact I would’ve done anything he asked? Or how fucking good it felt to finally give in to the attraction? His skin on mine, his mouth against me… my body heated. I’dneverhad chemistry like that before with anyone. But we weren’t talking now. We walked in silence. I snuck a glance at him, and his face was unreadable.
The harder question swirling around my head… was he regretting it?
I swallowed down the ball of emotions in my throat as we got to our building door. My shirt stuck to my neck, and I hated the tension in the air. “I think—”
“Goodnight, Elle.” He didn’t wait for me to get into my unit before foregoing the elevator and shoving the door to the stairs open. It was somehow worse than a rejection.
My stomach dropped in a painful, awful sort of way where I hunched over. His cologne hung in the humid air, and my lips still tingled from our kiss, but everything unsaid between us felt like a knife to the gut. My eyes prickled with tears, and my hands shook as I opened the door to my place. I leaned against it, slid down, and hung my head. I’d given in to my desire for him, and he’d run away from me at the first chance.
What have I done?
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
Cal
Icouldn’t sleep for shit. My mind was split right down the middle, two very different and conflicting events keeping me up. Meeting Lizzie and the impact she had on my emotions. It was a lot to digest and terrifying because hope was a bitch. I’dhopedfor so much before my parents died and lost all of it. But with Lizzie? It had returned, and it made me want to throw up.
Hope for the chance to watch her grow.
Hope for holidays to be filled with her laughing.
Hope for a family to share things with.
As soon as I stopped thinking about that, my mind went to Elle.Fucking Elle.Her kiss destroyed the tiniest string of self-control I had left. I wanted all of her, all the time. Despite the reasons it would never work, I needed another taste of her. But now, without getting my head on right. I’d lost control and would’ve fucked her on a table in my uncle’s bar.
