All I heard wasTy and I.“Ty?”
Something dark and dangerous flared in my gut. It was different than my usual anger I carried like a personality trait. It was green and large and made my hands into fists.
“Yeah.” She smiled, narrowing one eye like she was unsure to continue. “He asked me on a date to a baseball game first, then we met with the writing group the rest of the time.”
“A date?” My mouth tasted like expired milk and I wasn’t hungry anymore. Acid pooled low in my stomach, which twisted as images of the two of them flooded my head. Ty and her kissing, him touching her skin, him helping her with her plants and reading and going on trips to nurseries. I gripped the side of my chair and swallowed. I had no reason to be upset besides my own envy and fantasies. I’d practically yelled at her at themention of a blind date, so I had no business entertaining my secret wishes.
She nodded, a wrinkle forming between her eyebrows.
Damnit.I didn’t want to make her feel bad. She could date every guy on the team, and I had to be okay with it. We’d both made it clear we’d only ever be friends. I forced myself to fill the silence and remove that worry wrinkle. “Uh, how did it go?”
She rubbed her lips together, playing with the end of her hair before she shrugged. “Meh, honestly. He’s great. It’s not him.”
“The ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech?” I couldn’t stop my smile.Mehwas great—for me—for purely selfish-asshole reasons. I used a hand to cover my grin so she wouldn’t get suspicious, even though she dropped her gaze to my lips for a second.
“Honestly? Yeah.” She made a goofy face, twisting her lips to the side and bugging out her eyes. “Shockingno one,but I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic. I want the swoons.”
“Swoons?” That couldn’t be a legit word.
She chuckled. “You know, the romantic gestures, the buzzing chemistry, the swept off my feet thing. Ty’s nice, and I should be into him. On paper, he’s perfect.”
“Perfect?” I tilted my head to the side. He was fine, I guess.Perfectwas a bit too far. “I wouldn’t say that. I’ve known the guy almost three years now.”
She scrunched her nose. “Perfectfor me,I should’ve clarified. He’s kind, patient, and loves and respects writing. That’s what I meant.”
Ah, right. Someone like me wasn’t kind nor patient nor loved writing. I was a jerk, angry every single day, and would rather cut grass with scissors than trywriting.She wanted everything I wasn’t, and my jaw tensed. Hearing her list reasons why I wasn’t the guy for her sucked, but I nodded. “Got ya. So, no swoons.”
“Nope.” She traced a finger—her nail orange—over a crack on the table, and a dreamy looked crossed her face. “Mr. Three Nights Only, I take it romance isn’t on your top priority list?”
“No.” I scoffed. “I’m one call away to leaving this place and going to the NHL and never looking back.” I wasn’t sure why I said it with an aggressive tone or why I didn’t tell her I had no plans to do that. My degree was in honor of my parents. I wouldn’t back out of that, but it seemed like I wanted to drive an even bigger wedge between me and Elle. I found myself wanting more with her without having anything to offer her. Pushing her away was for fear of me getting too attached and to not hurt her. Safer for her. I’d hate myself if she looked at me the way Sherry did. Elle was the last person I wanted to upset, and that meant protecting her fromme.
But, even with that goal, I didn’t want her with fucking Ty. A sick twisted circle. I rubbed my chest as her eyes darkened, like she was sad at the fact.
“Could that really happen?”
“Yes. I could call my agent, and he’d confirm with the team and then bam, I’d go to their minor teams in Philly.” I’d thought about making that decision a million times. It’d be easier than doing college life, but lately, I’d been having a better time. The bar helped.Ellehelped. The change on the team certainly made it more fun. The guys included me more, which… gettingattachedwas too strong of a word, but I didn’t feel like everyone hated me as much.
“Promise me you’ll tell me if you do that.” She frowned, and her shoulders bunched up by her ears. “If you leave, I want to know.”
“Sure, but why?”So she can get more support at the bar. That’s why.I tensed, needing her to confirm it was about the bar and not about me. It stung, but reality was better than living off hope or unfulfilled wishes.
She smiled. “Cause we’re friends, and friends support each other. Maybe I’ll get a Grizzlies shirt with Holt on the back.”
God,that’d be hot. Warmth spread from my face to my thighs, a pleasant buzz of truth making me smile. She had to care about me a little bit to wear a shirt with my name on it. Knowing that there was one person besides Charlie or Reiner who gave a shit about me filled me with a weird sense of joy. I knew it’d be fleeting, but Elle cared about me. I wanted to bottle this feeling up forever. Her smiles and joy made me breathe easier.
“I’ll send you one for sure,” I said. “I promise.”
Our gaze held, and I swore there was a moment. It was weird, like time stopped, and I could see her coming to my games and wearing my jersey and the two of us getting dessert after. She could watch my plants on road trips, and I’d make sure she didn’t kill hers. I’d read every book she’d recommend, and I’d help her with money. Hell, I had enough of it that she never had to worry even though I knew she’d never let me give her any. We could argue over what was more entertaining, hockey or reading, and I could kiss her any time I wanted.
But then she blinked and sat back in her chair. The moment came and went, and I wondered ifthiswas how she felt about getting lost in her mind in a good way. I didn’t hate it.
“Bootcamp day one.” I shook my head a little, resetting it to normal status, one where I wasn’t daydreaming about being with Elle. This headspace was significantly less happy than the one I’d been in, imagining her in my life. I opened the PowerPoint and hit present. “More money, more problems.”
“Oh my god.” She laughed. “You didn’t.”
“Oh, I did.”
Her answering smile made it all worth it. I clicked through the lessons, asking her to go back three months and categorize everything she’d spent money on. Then to document everything for the next few weeks. We’d look at it next time and figure outa pattern. Then we’d sort it by essential, important, and fun. She wrote down my instructions in a little journey and had a determined look on her face: all set brows and tense jaw.
