He sighed, opened his mouth, and closed it before rubbing his hands on his knees. “I thought you’d like them.”
“I do. I love them. But—”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Because you got them for me, and you didn’t need to.”
“That’s the point of a gift, Elle.” Heat flared in his eyes, and his deep tone got even lower. “I upset you, and I wanted to make it right.”
“You’ve upset me multiple times.” I ran a hand through my hair, flustered and out of sorts, and it was his chest’s fault. “I don’t—”
“Will you ever tell me what I did?” He softened his tone and scooted closer toward me. “The first time we spoke, you had this look of awe on your face.”
“Yeah, because I loved watching you on the ice.” Oh, so apparently I had no filter and was laying it all down for him. “You were my favorite guy to cheer on. I loved your passion and aggression and focus. I watched every game you played from freshmen year. Even bought a shirt with your name on it when I streamed games at home.”
Cal’s mouth dropped open, and he blinked a lot. His chest heaved too. “What?”
“It doesn’t matter. You said I was a dumb blonde without a real career and only an idiot would choose to be a writer.” I huffed and put my hands on my hips. “This is stupid. I came up here to give you the gifts back, but in my tizzy, I forgot them.”
“Elle. Elle.” He shook his head, his eyes closed and his jaw tight. “I never… what?”
“Yes, I’m attracted to you. That’s obvious. You’re hot, but nothing willeverhappen between us. Not saying that you’d wantit to anyway. God, that was presumptuous. I just meant… fuck.” I took a breath. “You don’t want to be friends, and you’ve hurt my feelings so many times that maybe it’s best we’re just co-workers.”
“Hold on.” He stood up and paced, his breathing quite loud. “You’ve shared so much that I need a minute.”
“There’s nothing more to say.”
“Yes, there is,” he snapped. “You said a lot of things, and they are untrue, so give me a second so I can think because I don’t appreciate you telling me I hurt you.”
“But you did.”
His eyes flared, and his throat bobbed as he swallowed. “If I did, it was a complete accident. I wanted to see your smile; that’s why I bought you the spices. I made you frown when I said we weren’t friends, and before I fucked it up, you almost seemed happy to see me. No one looks at me like that, and I needed to get it back.” He ran a hand through his hair, pulling on the ends before staring at me again. “Keep them.Please.”
No one looks at me like that.
The utter heartbreak and sadness on his face was almost enough for me to forgive him. But I couldn’t. Not when he didn’t even remember what he’d said to me. I jutted my chin toward his window ledge filled with pots and greenery. “You clearly like plants. You can use them.”
“Elle,” he said, the magnetic pull drawing me toward him once again. I remained a good distance away, but I kept my arms crossed for some protection.
“What?”
“I didn’t know you wanted to be a writer. I would never say that about you, that you’re dumb. Not at all.” He closed his eyes and pinched his nose. “Please, believe me.”
“I heard you. You said only a dumb blonde would choose creative writing as a major, that it was a joke of a career choice,to my face, alright? That night in the car with my parents? It crushed me. Now, I need to go. Let’s keep it business tonight, okay?”
His face paled, and a part of me felt validated. Good. Maybe he finally remembered those hurtful words. He swallowed hard before shuffling his feet.
“I’m still walking you home.” His tone got dangerous. “That’s not up for discussion. I don’t care if you fucking hate me, but I’m walking you back.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
We stared at each other, the air thick with tension, and I bolted out of there. It was too much. His chest, his towel, my verbal vomit, his insistence that he hadn’t insulted me. Cal was a headcase, and I didn’t want to get caught up in it. My pulse raced, and my body was too hot as I got back to our place. Dani was gone at camp, and that left me with my spices and can.
He wanted to see me smile.
That was what he said.
