“You’ve seemed sad the past couple weeks. I know we don’t talk about feelings and shit, but…is everything okay?” He had a worried expression on his face and looked so thoughtful my heart warmed at his concern. I nodded.
“I will be. It’s just life.”
Liar. I haven’t slept well in weeks and my chest hurts whenever Tanner looks at me.
“I think we should have weekly lunch dates. We can catch up and talk and stuff.”
“God, it’s amazing you got Greta to fall for you with how well you are with words…”
“Fuck off,” he replied, laughing at my stupid expression. “I tried to tell them it wasn’t necessary, but…come downstairs.”
“Why?”
“Trust me.”
Shit.What is it?My anxiety got the best of me with worst-case scenarios going through my head. But I followed him down the stairs and was met with a banner, balloons, and the whole gang. Zade, Callie, Greta and Tanner. They each smiled at me, waving pompoms in the air, and my breath caught in my throat. “What…what did you guys do?”
“It’s your official moving into college crew. Hilly told us your parents couldn’t make it out here, so we’ll be your family.” Zade held his arms open. “We all agreed we’d trade Jeff for you, but his name is on the lease and he might be pissed.”
“God, you guys are great.” I hugged Zade, moving to Callie, then to Greta, who squeezed me too hard. “Jesus, G.”
“Sorry, it’s a character flaw.”
That left me facing Tanner, who still looked so goddamn handsome my pulse went haywire. I felt everyone’s stares on us, and I opened my arms for a hug. “Thanks for the help.”
He crushed me to his chest, his familiar scent and sounds bombarding me.Fuck. Fuck I miss this. I miss him.“It’s been nice having you here, Kenzie.”
“Yeah,” I said, pushing away from him and staring at everyone. “You don’t have to help me move in, you know.”
“We want to,” Tanner said. He kept his gaze on me the entire time and when Aaron mentioned loading up his car with my stuff, a wave of strong emotion hit me. My eyes watered and an overwhelming worry halted me.
College is starting.
No more Tanner.
New people, new life style.
New classes.
No more Tanner.
“Hey, hey, come here,” Tanner said when he saw my face, and I went to him. He patted my back, rubbing his hands up and down my arms, and kept speaking in a calm, deep voice. “I know it’s overwhelming, but think about how exciting it will be? All the stuff you can add to your list? The dorm food, the adventures with Lorelei and Rachel, the parties and memories. You’re always welcome to sneak off to our house if you need to, but I think you’re going to have an amazing year. You deserve it, Kenz.”
I sniffed, pressing my face farther into his shirt, and it never crossed my mind that some of the crew could see him like this. It didn’t matter. “Thanks, TJ.”
“That’s what best friends are for, helping each other out.”
I froze at his words, glancing up at him and sucking in a breath at his warm expression. “What did—”
“You’re helping with this shit, too, TJ. Get your ass in gear,” Zade hollered after dropping off one load, and I jumped away from him. We weren’t doing anything wrong, but it still worried me.
“Chill out, man.” Tanner gave me one more glance, worry etched around his eyes, before he helped load the car. We got all my bags into the trunk and Aaron, Zade and Tanner got into the car with me, the girls following with the other load, and we headed toward the dorm. It was six blocks from their house and the drive was too short. There was so much left to say, to Tanner, to my brother—hell, even Zade. They didn’t have to take me in all summer and make me feel welcome, but they had.
Hills didn’t express emotions and it got worse when we dropped off each bag. Zade and Aaron made inappropriate jokes the entire time as Tanner and I danced around each other in silence. Every time we ran into each other, I jumped, and hoped no one saw. It was awful and, when we dropped the last box, I hugged them goodbye. “Fuck, I’m gunna miss all of you assholes.”
“I know. I feel weird. Like, my chest feels funny,” Aaron said, pulling me in for another hug. “Text me any time, seriously.”
“Will do.”
