“Why ask then?” Zade leaned onto his knees, his lips twisting into a scowl. I couldn’t think of a reason why I would want to know without mentioning Kenzie. The silence grew, just like his glare, and he barked, “Answer the question, Johnson.”
Shit.His tone had changed and my entire body tensed with anxiety. I wasn’t sure how he figured it out, but the way he flared his nostrils and moved his gaze back from Aaron and me had me worried. “Come to the kitchen with me. Now.”
I got up and followed him, close to a full-blown panic.If he tells Aaron…“Zade, listen.”
“Shut the fuck up. Wait.” He pushed open the patio door, shoved me outside and slammed it shut with a menacing glare. He crossed his massive arms and looked nothing like my friend from the past three years. He was pissed. “His fucking sister. I thought I was crazy, even thinking it could be a possibility.Fuck. How? When? God, why?”
“How did you know?”
“I didn’t piece it together officially until Felix mentioned Kenzie and you snapped at him. That put me on guard, had me thinking about other times you two were together. Can’t believe I didn’t catch on sooner.”
“It’s been over a month.”
He groaned and hoisted himself up to sit on the edge of the porch. “Why would you do that to her, or Aaron?”
“It’s not what you think, man. I’m not fucking with her. She’s…the best.”
“Yeah, no one’s going to believe that. You’ve never had a relationship longer than three days.Jesus, we can’t afford this on the team. Not this year. Aaron will lose it and he just got everything settled down the past year. You asshole.” Zade pinched the bridge of his nose and each one of his exhalations felt worse than a punch to the gut. He was right. “Tanner. I’m more than average in the brain department. I cannot rationalize why the hell you think this is a good idea, at all.”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen, okay? It just did. We both wanted it and agreed it was just a fling. For fuck’s sake, she’s starting school and I’m planning to get drafted. There couldn’t be a future there.”
“No shit, there couldn’t. Aaron would murder you. Rightfully so. She’s been through enough. God, you’re going to break her heart and I’m going to have to pick sides when Hilly comes after you. Fuck!” He got up and kicked the railing. “Why? Tell me why.”
“She gets me.”I think I’m falling for her, hard.“I like her.”
“Doesn’t matter, man. Don’t you see it?” he asked, desperation on his face. “Aaron has seen you do way too much shit to ever give you his blessing. If you ask for it, he’ll blow up. If he finds out there was even a chance of you two, he’ll blow up. I’m protective of my sister and I’d never let her date any of you. But Aaron? He’s worse.”
“Doesn’t Kenzie get a say in this? Aaron doesn’t get to make this decision for me.”
“Well, yeah, but, Tanner, why would you chance fucking anything up on our team? This is our year, the one we either get our dreams or don’t.” He stood and shook his head. “I’m not going to tell your secret. But you need to think long and hard about this. I love you like a brother, so take or leave my advice. Relationships are hard. You give and take, make sacrifices. You need to be willing to do that. You cannot hurt her. Ever. Would you cause a rift between and her brother, the only family she has nearby?”
He left me out the porch, alone, at my own low-key party, feeling like shit. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her, but I’d be risking too much to try for more.I have to be willing to make sacrifices—and I can’t do that.My shoulders felt as if a million pounds rested on them and when Kenzie’s text came through, I had never hated myself more.
Kenzie: Let me know when it’s safe to come over. If tonight is our last night together, I want to be with you as long as I can.
Tanner: I’ll kick them out at midnight, but come whenever you want.
Kenzie: Great. Also, no pressure, but I have a creative solution I want to run by you.
Tanner: Solution?
Kenzie: Yeah, I think I found a way for tonight not to be the final night for us. Trust me. It’s an amazing idea and I bet you’ll go for it.
Fuck. This is what I want.More time with her, laughing and being with her. But Zade’s words buried themselves in my chest and I swallowed down the hurt and regret.
Tanner: Sure, I’ll hear it.
Kenzie: See you soon, TJ.
Our fling was supposed to end on good terms, like a fun memory we’d never forget. But I knew, without a doubt, she would hate me after we talked. And I deserved it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Kenzie
We spent hours picking out decorations online for our dorm and making fun of our siblings. Lorelei and Logan were locals, only living twenty minutes off campus, and their parents were absolute sweethearts. Their mom and dad made us a homemade Italian meal and reminded me so much of my own parents I almost hugged them. Rachel was cool too.
It was refreshing to feel so excited about moving in with my roommates and experiencing college with new friends. But the joy conflicted with an internal battle that seemed to get worse each day. I wanted to move into dorms, but dreaded the fact that I wouldn’t share a wall with Tanner anymore because, at some point, Tanner had worked his way up to being one of my favorite people.
