I needed the answers first.
“Call me when you’re done. Don’t be a dick to Nicole. She’ll murder you,” Aaron said, taking off the second I got out of the car. Her training room during our season was off to the side in a little office with glass windows. I hobbled down the cemented hallway, preparing myself for the worst. Each step caused pain in my lower back and I knew if I had a large tear in my hamstring, I could be out for six weeks.
That was just unacceptable. Something I couldn’t afford to have happen. With a heavy hand, I knocked on her door and was met with a scowl. “Johnson, what did you do?”
“Not sure. Rounding third, I felt a pull, and it hasn’t gotten any better.”
She exhaled and led me to a table where she instructed me to lie on my back. I did, and winced when she lifted my leg and tried pushing my knee to my chest. I couldn’t do it with the pain. “Lots of pain in your thigh when I do this?”
“Yes,” I said through gritted teeth. “Iced it this morning, but it didn’t help.”
She did a couple more exercises, stretching and maneuvering my leg at different angles. Then she clicked her tongue. “Pulled hammie. Probably gunna be out for two weeks, minimum. See me in fourteen days and we can start light exercises.”
I covered my eyes with the palms of my hands, pressing into them and digesting my reality.Two weeks. Better than six, worse than none.“Okay. I can do that.”
“You don’t have a choice. Ice, aspirin, stretches. You’re an active guy, be smart about this. Short-term decisions won’t help your endgame.” She patted my knee twice and told me to hold still. She bagged some ice, twisted it off at the end and set it on my thigh. “Twenty minutes, then you can head out. I swear, Tanner, don’t overdo it. You’re not in season and this is more an annoyance than a setback.”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“Do you?” she asked, fire in her eyes that knew too much. She knew all of us really well, and I swore she could smell my bullshit. “I’ll know. No playing until I clear you. I’m going to call your coach now and inform him.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She left the training room without glancing back at me, and my swirling thoughts clashed with the silence of the room.Nineteen more minutes.That was a lot of time to think about my family, future and…how I’d treated Kenzie.
“Fuck.” I groaned into my fist. I shouldn’t have snapped at her when she’d asked what happened…and I sure as hell should’ve texted her we were getting back early. Being a dick wasn’t my go-to for anyone, and I couldn’t rationalize why I’d needed to act that way.
Because I blamed her for my playing.
Rationally, I knew that was absurd, but it didn’t stop me.She met football guys…ugh. I pushed the thought away because it got my blood pumping with adrenaline. Overhearing her talking to her brother and Zade hadn’t been the best way to wake up with feelings of shame and regret. I had major work to do when I got back and I wasn’t sure how to go about it.
Am I such an asshole I never had to apologize before?God. Sometimes I hated myself. I knew why I rarely apologized. I never let myself care enough to feel bad about something, unless it was on the baseball field.
Not a pleasant pill to swallow.
My thoughts derailed when my phone rang, the familiar ringtone alerting me it was my mom. I scrambled it from my pocket and answered immediately. “Hey, Mom, is everything okay?”
“Yes, Tallen.” She chuckled, the sound warm andher, and it had a calming effect on my spiked nerves. “I know we didn’t talk yesterday since you had some games. How did you play?”
“Like shit. Scouts were there and had no interest in talking to me,” I snapped, sounding like a pouting child. “I pulled a muscle so I’m out two weeks.”
She sighed, letting a couple of seconds of silence go by before she spoke. “I’m not going to spend my time listening to you admiring the problem. Tell me the solutions instead.”
A hard slap of truth.“I wasn’t seeing the ball well at the plate and my head was distracted.”
“Use your two weeks to clear your head. If it’s worrying about me and your brothers…please don’t. We’re doing well. They’re loving their summer camp and are part of a program at school to get free cellphones. They’ll be so excited when they can start texting you. Be prepared.”
“What? That’s awesome!” My mood lifted. “Yeah, have them text me as soon as they get a device. Wow, how cool.”
“I’m thankful. The service provides a phone easily adapted so Marcus can use it. It was a wonderful surprise. Now, about the scouts. You’ve spoken to a handful of them, but it doesn’t guarantee anything. Focus on your goals. Getting on base, making plays in the outfield and silently leading your team.”
“Thanks, Mom, I needed to hear this.” I gripped the phone a little tighter in my hand, already forming a plan of attack. “This helped.”
“It’s what moms do. We help in whatever capacity we can.”
“Love you. Tell hello to the boys for me.”
“I love you, too, Tallen. I’ll tell them and I don’t want to hear any more complaints when we talk next week. Deal?”
