“Are these rules like the speeding limit, where you’re kinda allowed to go five miles over? Or like unforgivable curses? I need specifics.”Yes, use humor because I’m uncomfortable with my emotions. Real mature.
“Such a dork. My rules have always been pretty simple. Don’t hook up more than three times, don’t have sex the day before a game and baseball is life.”
“So you’re saying your rules are your version of my list.”
“Yeah. I guess, yeah. So how would you feel if your list went to hell?”
“Disorganized. But, Tanner, I’m still confused what all this means.” I chewed on my bottom lip, hating the haunted look in his eyes. If he wanted to end this…thing, it’d hurt. More than I cared to admit.
But that doesn’t make sense.
He exhaled, his breath hitting my face and a sliver of a smile popping out. “I don’t know what this means, and I’m not able to try and figure it out. All I know is I enjoy spending time with you. It’s selfish of me to ask you to not see other people, so I won’t ask it outright. I will say, I don’t plan to see anyone else while we’re under your to-do list contract.”
“I dig that.” My entire face felt on fire and I held out my hand. “Let’s shake on it. Just us, hanging out and not thinking about anything but having fun until we finish my list.”
His grin grew, those goddamn dimples peeking out, and he took my hand. “Remember, those are only in your bed.”
“Yes, Tanner,thatis the most important thing of this discussion. Thank you,” I replied, my sarcasm not lost on him. “This felt heavy, huh?”
“Yeah, I don’t like heavy.” He chuckled and released his grip on me. “Shit, it’s late. We leave early tomorrow. I should get some sleep.”
“Of course,” I said, hating the slight break in my voice. “Good luck. You’ll play well. You always do. Just, get on base more, would ya?”
It was the right thing to say. His eyes lit up with humor and he flipped us so he lay on top of me, our mouths aligned so he could easily drop his to mine. He kissed me, all playful and light, before moving to the floor. “Such a pistol. I’ll see you in six days, then.”
“See you in six days.”
He stared at me a little longer, my cheeks heating at his attention, and shook his head before leaving my room. I had no idea whatthatlook meant, but it made feel weightless. It took no time for me to set my list and glasses on the nightstand, close my eyes and fall asleep.
I was dreaming about thunderstorms and dancers—not related to my life at all—but it didn’t matter. It startled me when the bathroom door opened. My room was still dark and I squinted at the figure entering. My pulse raced in my ears and fear shot adrenaline through my veins until I realized it was Tanner. “What are you doing?”
“Shh, go back to sleep. I was saying bye.” He smelled freshly showered, a combination of soap and his aftershave tingling my nose, and I wanted to spray that smell on my pillow. He turned on the lamp next to my bed on and peered at me. “You look like an angel sleeping. A messy one.”
“Oh god, what a line,” I mumbled, covering my mouth with my hand. Morning breath was the worst.
“Not a line.” He approached my bed, sat on the side and dropped down to kiss my lips. It was tender, totally out of the blue and it felt as though I was falling. “Where’s your phone?”
“On my desk, I think.”
“What’s your password?”
“Seven-one-four-three.”
“Great.” He moved his fingers over the screen and gave me a huge smile. “I wanted you to have my number. Feel free to use it.”
“You woke me up for that?”
“Sure did. Now go back to sleep, Kenny.” He pushed my hair off my face and pressed his lips to mine for a kiss that was way too short. “We’ll talk soon.”
* * * *
I overestimated being cool about staying in the house alone. For one, I didn’t take into account how boring it was not having sounds around me. Sure, watching the house when my parents went from appointment to appointment hadn’t been fun, but I could entertain myself in my room with movies and favorite TV shows. This place wasn’t mine, and even after spending five hours doing Biology homework, I was bored. I itched to do more.
Like text Tanner.
No. Chill.
It wouldn’t hurt anyone for me to talk to myself, but that would cross a personal line of losing my mind. Instead, I made a nice pot of macaroni and attempted to watchDelicatessenagain. Dressed in sweatpants, a ratty shirt that had seen better days and not an ounce of makeup on, I lounged on the couch. I got halfway through the movie, the unsettled feeling not sitting well with me. What did I need? It sure as hell wasn’t orgasms. Nope. I’d had more than enough the past week.
