Um, what?“Hm?”
“I don’t think we need to talk about it.”
“And why is that?”
Okay, this was new and I really didn’t like the feeling of uncertainty going through me. I removed my hands from her skin because one, its softness drove me crazy and I wanted to run my tongue all over it, biting it and letting her know how much she’d been on my damn mind, but secondly, her eyes were no longer filled with the lust I’d seen the night before. She relaxed when I removed my touch.
“I know why you did it and I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think it’s worth revisiting.” She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and shuffled her feet back and forth before she met my gaze again. “It was the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life, but I expected nothing less from the best player in the game.”
“Tell me, why do you think I did it?” I asked, debating whether to feel amused or hurt at what she said. It was a compliment that reflected my own thoughts, but laced with words that were meant to deter me. They didn’t.
“Because you felt sorry for me. It’s okay, really. I will never think about Sean again after experiencing the force of you, but don’t worry about me or any crazy notions you must think I have.” She laughed, the humor not evident in her eyes—the most expressive thing about her—and I wanted to erase the insane words that she’d just said. They were false, so fucking false, but I didn’t have time to respond. She patted my face, giving me a playful, almost flirty smile, and said, “Thank you. I wanted an adventure this summer and that kiss was adventurous enough for me.”
Then she went inside.Fucking hell.I crackled every knuckle, twice, and followed her through the door and to the table, where the only two spots were right across from each other.Awesome.
How had our little game in the car moved into her turning me down…before I’d had the chance to explain my thoughts? Had this ever happened to me before? No. It didn’t make me feel better about the situation. If anything, it hurt worse because everything she’d said about it being the best kiss of her life…was true.
“You did a good thing last night, TJ,” Aaron said, passing the large pot of coffee that sat at our table. I forced a smile on my face, severely unsure what the fuck he was referring to. My mind had Kenzie’s name in bright neon lights running across it, but there was no way Aaron knew about that, or his fist would connect with my teeth.
Fake it.
“I do a lot of good things all the time, Hilly. Be more specific.” I ignored the mocking noises from my table mates but found Kenzie watching me with an unusual expression on her face. I tried to reassure her with a small wink, but her expression remained unchanged.
“Ambar. I didn’t realize she got that drunk until it was…what, three?”
“Yeah, I needed water and found her puking. It didn’t feel right leaving her on the couch with people still lingering.” I cringed and took a sip of the drink, letting my attention slide to Kenzie. The coffee burned my throat and I choked when I saw her expression. She sat stock still, eyes as large as the plates in the middle of the table and her lips parted. It was a combination of shock and surprise, and I wiped up the mess I’d made and forced myself to look at Aaron. “She apologized about fifty times this morning. Poor girl slept on the floor of our bathroom.”
“I take back my previous statement of you being a dick one hundred percent of the time. It’s, like, ninety-five.”
I laughed. “Did it hurt saying that?”
“A little,” he joked, and the vibe shifted at the table. It was probably just me, but everyone seemed more relaxed. Our waitress came and everyone ordered the hangover special of bacon, eggs, toast and more bacon.
“Kenny, you feeling better?” Zade asked from my right side.
I waited for her response and stared at that goddamn beauty mark that was on full display with her shirt hanging off her shoulders. Her skin drove me crazy and I played with a straw wrapper to distract myself.
“Just being around the smell of bacon helped. Thanks,” she said, adding a self-deprecating laugh. She did that a lot. In a weird way, it reminded me of my mom, who never took herself too seriously despite her situation.My mom would like her.
Okay, what the serious fuck?I didn’t talk about my family to anyone. Ever. It wasn’t worth it.Hecould find her if I shared too much about them, but the urge to even contemplate it freaked me out.Shit, is it hot in here?I pulled on the neckline of my shirt and found Greta staring at me with an amused look.
“Something on your mind, G?”
Her smirk grew but she shook her head. “Nope.”
“Then why do you look high?”
“I was just thinking about something that made me smile. That’s all.”
No one paid attention to her quick glance between Kenzie and me, and I had a hard time sitting through the breakfast. Everyone joked, made fun of the fact Kenzie and Zade had won and rambled on about our plans for the Fourth of July. I chimed in when I had to, but I counted down the seconds until I could head to the gym or cages to get some swings in…or, get Kenzie alone to continue our conversation. It wasn’t until hours later that my I found my opportunity.
* * * *
Aaron went with me to the cages to get a good hour or so of extra swings. The release of energy helped with the tension in my shoulders, but it did nothing about the state of my mind. I was with my best friend and teammates, thinking about his younger sister who was just starting college. Scum. I was fucking scum. I wiggled the bat in my hand, doing my normal routine of swinging four times in the direction of the pitcher. Aaron put the ball into the machine, and the ball shot to the outer corner. I swung, extending my forearms so the ball mirrored the direction and it blasted to the right side of the net.
“Nice one. Let’s end on that.”
“Sure.” We picked up the extra balls that had escaped through various holes in the net protecting the cages and fell into a comfortable and familiar silence as we headed toward his car. He, too, had a fire burning inside him to make it to the Majors and was the only person just as obsessed as I was with getting better. The difference between us was that the world knew his story and no one knew mine. It was how I preferred it.
