I couldn’t stop my smile. She was safe. She was there. I brushed past Ambar, stopping to thank her, but she waved her hand and was already distracted by something one of the juniors on the team was saying.I’m an idiot.I forgot about the roof access Jeff and Zade had in their rooms. It took less than a minute to unlock my bedroom door, rush through our shared bathroom and crawl through her window. She didn’t give any indication she heard me and I moved to sit right next to her. Our shoulders touched, the red cup in her head swaying a little. “You shouldn’t be on the roof if you’re drinking. You could get hurt.”
“It’s water,” she replied, something off in her voice. She sloshed the liquid and pointed it toward me. “You can smell it if you don’t believe me.”
“I do.” I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. She wasn’t crying, or frowning. She was drinking water to sober herself up, but something didn’t make sense to me. “Why are you up here?”
“It’s peaceful.” She still hadn’t looked at me, just stared toward the direction of campus, and I placed my hand on her back, rubbing it up and down. She was cold.
“You’re freezing.”
“It feels good.” She sighed, finished the rest of the cup and set it down. Only then did she face me. “Why were you screaming my name?”
“I couldn’t find you.”
Her only reaction was a slight curve of her lips. “I’ve been up here for about an hour.”
“I thought something happened to you when I went to look for you. It…it scared me.” There, I’d admitted it. It felt more terrifying than a bottom of the ninth, two out pitch, but her expression hardened.
“I don’t need youwatchingafter me.”
“It wasn’t like that. I remembered your list, and you were a little drunk from the game, and the thought of some asshole taking advantage of you…” I paused, taking a second to swallow down the lingering anger. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Thank you,” she said, her voice losing some of the vinegar from earlier. “Head back into the party, TJ. You know I’m safe now.”
“Will you come back with me?”
“I’ll probably make for bed.”
“It’s ten-thirty. Don’t be lame.” I moved my hand from her back to her neck, placing it right above her collarbone. “Come on, if I can accept you beating me in front of all those people, you can return with me.”
“I don’t want to intrude on your night. What about that girl?”
Great question, but pass. I’m not answering.Instead, I studied her and realized why I felt drawn to her. We were more similar that she thought—both forced to remain strong for our families, both unable to show weakness because it meant inconveniencing those around us—but mostly, the way she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders was similar to mine.
“Tanner.”
Shit, she said my name again and shifted under my hand, but I kept my touch on her. “I’d rather hang out with you.”
That caught her attention. She spun, her green eyes dancing with amusement. “Is this some sort of revenge for beating you? Is someone recording this?”
“What? No. Don’t be absurd.” I didn’t like how fast her mind went to a joke, as though I couldn’t actually want to hang out with her. “Honestly, it’s your first college party and I want to make sure you get the entire experience. You have beer pong and roof sitting down. There is so much more to be done.”
“Is it like bingo?”
“Are you obsessed with winning? Seriously, you’re sick.”
She laughed, her normal fire coming back. “I might be.”
“Well, make sure to addget game rehabto your list.” I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her lips when she smiled like that, as though I’d told her the best news in the world. It wasn’t fair for her smile to have that much of an impact.
“I can officially check offhaving funso I don’t have to add anything I know I won’t cross off.” She scooted toward the window and, just before she slid through, stopped and gave me a warm look. “Thank you. I got into a weird cycle of thoughts and it overwhelmed me. I’m glad I have you on my team, TJ.”
I most definitely am.But I just smiled and helped her through the window. My throat got a little tight at those words and the unsettled feeling I’d had all night disappeared. We rejoined the party and I dragged her back to the yard. “First up—flippy-cup.”
Two hours later, I’d introduced Kenzie to five guys on the team, a handful of girls who I hadn’t hooked up with and Greta had even joined us. It was past midnight, two kegs were out and things officially got sloppy.
“Hey.” Aaron’s voice carried over the yard and his tone worried me. “I need your help.”
“What’s up?”
