“He might, but he doesn’t look at me like Zade looks at you.” She sat up and eyed me. “I’m not kidding, Cal. I know he’s been a womanizer in the past, but he’s never acted this way with a girl before. Daily running dates? Breakfasts? He’s barely acknowledged girls he’s hooked up with. You’re different.”
“I present a challenge to him and that hunk of a man likes a challenge. I can tell whenever we play a game or joke around. I’m something he can’t have, thus, I’m desirable. That isn’t a firm ground for a relationship. And you know my grades have to come first. No matter how tempting Zade is. Now, Tanner comes over almost every day. He brings you food. That is one fine trait for a guy to have. But, G, you can always make a move.”
“I don’t want to ruin the friendship, though.” She sighed and fell back to the pillow. “I don’t want to make a fool of myself and end it all. I’d rather have him as a friend than try and fail.”
“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” I smirked, knowing Zade might appreciate the quote.
“You’re a dork. I want to veg out. Movie night?” She got up and I nodded. I took out my phone, typing the text without thinking too much about it. Friends texted each other, right?
Callie: I just used the quote, never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. In real life. I have a problem.
Zade: You do. Did it help, though?
Callie: Not at all. The comment was entirely ignored. Hmm. Now that I think about it, I’m pissed. It was really good advice.
Zade: What’s your advice for someone then who keeps striking out? Do you tell them to stop trying and quit or what?
Callie: Good question. Approach it differently. They don’t have the fear, but the approach isn’t working. I’d have them try something different. Switch it up. When it doubt, shake it out.
Zade: Maybe you’re not too shabby with these quotes.
Callie: Are we cool…about earlier?
I typed out the text, my finger hovering on adding more. I saw the gray dot that showed him typing come up then disappear four times.
Zade: Yes, Callie. Regardless of what happens, I’ll be a friend to you.
Chapter Ten
Zade
“Get your head out of your ass. Let’s go!” Jeff yelled at me through his mask. “You’re throwing shit right now. You’re better than this.” His dark eyes bored into mine, a little anger and disappointment in them. It made me feel lower. Iwasbetter than this.
“Fuck. I know.” He threw the ball back at me, hard, and I took a moment to collect myself. I stood on the mound, my second home. I should be flying high, not pissed off and tight. I’d stretched for an hour with Nicole. I was loose as hell and yet the muscles pinched and I held back. “Let me go back to the slider.”
“Give me ten.” He bent low and signaled for the pitch with three fingers. I counted to four, brought the ball into my glove, counted to four again and did my wind-up. My mind cleared, the only thing in focus Jeff’s glove and the sound of my pitch. I went through every routine I had and the ball missed the target by a foot.
“Fuck!” I yelled, kicking the dirt around me, and I flinched at my coach’s twisted expression. This was going to betheseason. I wanted it enough, worked hard enough for it and I needed do whatever it took to make it happen. Jeff threw me the ball with a blank face. I went through the motions again. This one went better. The third and fourth and fifth were okay. We moved on to the change and hitting spots with the fastball. Instead of the adrenaline I normally had, I felt like the insecure high schooler who struggled with finding a position. We moved to the curve, but after two or three, we both knew it wasn’t going to go well. “Jeff, let’s stop.”
He gave me a curt nod and jogged toward me. “Z, clear your mind, man. You aren’t throwing your normal shit. What’s going on?”
“Honestly, nothing. That’s what I don’t get. I’m tight as fuck despite warming up all morning.” I fisted the ball in my hand, the pressure pinching at my shoulder. “What are you seeing?”
“Wind-up is the same, the release is a little off. You don’t have your normal movement or consistency, but don’t worry, man. It’s the first run through since summer. You’ll get the fire back. You wouldn’t want to be throwing fire in August… Hell, that’d be a false sense of security.” He patted my back, the support helping me. Jeff didn’t bullshit and always told me if I needed to be worried. I trusted him with my arm and calling the game. The trust had to be two ways or the flow would be off and I chose to believe him.
“I wanted to leave feeling more confident. Instead, I want to go listen to Adele and pump weights in the gym.” I laughed, although I wasn’t in a great mood.
“If you do that, let me know. I could do with some simpin’ now that you mention it.” He inspected the ground a little too long and I inwardly groaned. He had something going on too and I was only concerned about my own pitching issues.Way to be an ass.
“What’s up?” We continued to stand on the mound, but our coach had left already. I expected to hear from him the next day about my mediocre performance. “I was sucked up in my own world, but you seem down.”
“It ain’t anything big. Money issues.” He shrugged, avoiding eye contact. “It’s not me. My mom and dad. I’m on a scholarship, but they’re struggling and I’m torn between trying to get drafted for the signing bonus or staying here and not being able to help them out. If I chose the stay, it’s for me and only me. If I signed, then I could help them.”
“Shit.” I felt for him. “I wish I could do more for ya, man, but that is a tough call. Have you talked to them about it?”
“That’s the thing—they won’t admit it to me. I heard about it by accident and now that I know, I haven’t told them. I’m morally torn and coach wants to help, but it’s ultimately up to me.” He wiped sweat off his forehead. “They won’t ask, but they’re myparents, man. I need to help them if I can. They’ve traveled all over the state with me since I was six, helping me follow my dream of baseball. I owe it to them.”
“I would do the same thing, honestly. But, if you want advice or not, you need to talk to them. If they’re anything like my mom, they’ll be fucking pissed as hell if they knew you were contemplating giving up something for them. Talk to them. Worst-case scenario, nothing changes. Ya know?”
