“Painting the whole picture. That sure, he’s nice to you, but was it really going to change him?”
He loves who he is with me.He’d said that.
But.
That word kept adding itself to every thought.
But what if it was just because he was in a shit part of his life and I was available? But what if he did get drunk after our call and do something stupid? Could I forgive that?
Did I want to?
“Ugh!” I rubbed my temples as my mom’s words chose that low moment to repeat.“When this ends, you’ll come crawling back to us.”“I need to talk to him. Now.”
“You’re right. Call him, Blue. We’re right here.”
I pressed his number and waited while the phone rang and rang. No answer. “Is there a game? There must be, right?”
“Let me find out.” Megan typed on her phone and frowned. “Not one until tonight.”
“Shit,” I mumbled, hitting Call again.
Same result.
“He’s probably caught up in all this shit.” Ethan got a glass from the cabinet and poured champagne in it, forgoing orange juice all together. “Blue, we love you and I know you’ve enjoyed hanging out with him.”
“But?” I asked, digging my nails into my palms.
“He’s nice and makes you laugh, but do you need this sort of baggage?” He winced, like he knew the words would hurt me. “This is a lot for someone you met two months ago. I’m not saying it wasn’t real or anything, just…for someone who’s never really dated, this is a lot of shit to deal with. Fuck. I dated Hailey for a year and this would’ve been too much for me.”
I sniffed as the first set of tears started falling down my cheeks. They weren’t just sad tears. They were a combination of frustration, anger and unfairness. “You’re right. But I love him.”
“I know you do.” He reached over and rubbed my back as I leaned into a ball. “He’s not a bad guy despite…all of this.”
“His arrest was based on a misunderstanding. I’m afraid this is too,” I said, the tension in my stomach getting worse the longer Brigham didn’t call me back. Talking to him would settle it. If we were together anymore or not, if he was okay or not. Hearing his voice would help ease the worry. “His words don’t align with these actions.”
“Can you say that about someone you’ve known two months?”
That was the question.
I rolled onto my back, with Ethan and Megan at either end of the couch, and I typed out a message just as Cassie and Pico hopped up and cuddled into my arms. No one could tell me that dogs weren’t incredible or human’s best friend. These two comforted me, and another wave of tears started. “Damn.”
“It’s okay that you’re sad. Let it out.”
“Ugh.” I wiped my nose before typing out the text.
Sarah: hi, I need to talk to you soon.
Sarah: Hope you’re okay.
There, that wasn’t cryptic. It was the truth. I tossed the phone to the other side of the cushion so it was out of reach. “He’ll call when he can.”
“Right,” Ethan said, sharing another grim look with his sister. “Want to watchParks and Recand drink?”
“Yup.” I cuddled against the two dogs, who I would oddly miss when Mr. Alexandre came back, and tried not to cry when my phone remained silent for the entire day.
* * * *
Never having had a boyfriend before meant never having suffered through a break-up, and while I still wasn’t confident this was an official break-up, it sucked. Bad. Two days without a word from Brigham. Megan sent me updates that she could find online, but none of them helped me determine our situation. Brigham and I came from very different worlds and those differences became more and more in-my-face the longer he didn’t talk to me.
