“This is a step in our relationship.”
“We already live together. I’m too broke to cause a scene or move out, so you can trust me.” She gave me a smile and put her hand on my arm. “We’re a lot alike, Fiona, and I have a feeling we’re better at giving other people advice than taking our own.”
I rolled my eyes but relaxed with her presence. She wasn’t entirely wrong. “Go on. You have my attention.”
“Gideon is messing with you. Justin and the charity are messing with you. Neither is related to the other, so what consumes your mind more?”
I frowned, tracing the edge of the journal with my pointer finger. “Both. Neither. I’m not sure.”
“When you’re driving or falling asleep at night, what do you think about? Justin? Gideon? We all drift off into our thoughts when we’re not too busy, and you’ve been not busy for almost a week now without classes. You’ve been acting different that whole time. So, what is it?”
“Decisions. I have so many decisions that I can’t be expected to make and ensure they are the right ones. This job…what if I hate it and I can’t quit when it’s for Justin? What if it hurts too much and it destroys me?” I avoided her stare. I looked at my fingers and twisted them into each other, playing with the silver ring I had on my thumb. “I know it’s irrational, but it’s a big decision.”
“You’re not irrational, Fiona. Don’t think about a forever job. Think about five years. Could you learn and grow and even enjoy the job for five years? Dedicate yourself to getting it running and doing a kick-ass job at it, then think about leaving? You love working with the kids and you can make sure you do a school visit once a week.”
I nodded and dared to meet her gaze. Her stare bored into me—not in an intrusive way, but in anI get youway. It reminded me of Jade. And Gideon. “Coaching this team has been so rewarding. I didn’t think it would be like this.”
“The charity is to help kids be aware of the dangers of texting and driving. I think that answers itself. Not many twenty-somethings can say they helped a charity grow across states.”
“You researched Texting Too Late?”
“Of course. You’re my friend and I want to help once you accept this job.” She grinned and a weight the size of a truck lifted from my chest. “Now, about Gideon.”
“One issue at a time, please. I can’t believe I made the decision. I’m doing it. I’m going to accept it for five years. Then I can re-evaluate. Fuck yeah. Holy shit… Michelle. Thank you.”
“You got it. We don’t have to talk about Gideon if you don’t want to, but that gift isn’t casual. Neither is dropping you off, picking you up, standing up for you on the field and saving you from a drunken date.” She stood, squeezed my shoulder and left me to my thoughts. I took a long, calming breath, picked up my phone and called Jade. She answered on the first ring and I didn’t even greet her.
“I want the job.”
“Wait, really? Hold on. Mom—get over here!” She shuffled the phone around and my heart hammered in my chest. “I’m so happy. I just knew it!”
I let out an awkward chuckle and a cry as Diane—the president of TTL and Jade’s mom—got on the phone. “Hi, Fiona. I hear you’ll accept the position full-time?”
“Yes, Diane. Year by year contract, I will sign.”
“You’re perfect for this, Fiona. Your dedication to volunteering, coaching and candor when speaking about Justin…the experience you bring is crucial. I might’ve acted all confident and told Jade to act like it isn’t a big deal, but I can’t imagine this team without you.”
“Yeah, I love this team. Sorry for being a pain in the ass about it. Send over the contract whenever you can and I’ll get it back to you.”
“Will do. Here’s Jade again.”
“Oh my god. Girl, I’m so happy for you. For me. For us,” Jade said.
“I love you and your mom rocks. You’re weirdos, but my kind of weirdos.”
She agreed and hung up. I couldn’t describe how the weight had lifted off my shoulders. Diane and Jade had lost a son and brother to texting and driving, and the vice president had also lost a loved one to it. They were a core group of strong women and I felt a little foolish that it had taken so long to decide. But I had and I was happy with it.
I eyed the journal again before moving on to my next issue. The guilt from how I’d left Gideon. Shame consumed me. I hadn’t gotten him a gift that clearly had effort and he deserved better from a co-coach. No…friend. We were friends. How did I start this conversation, though? I couldn’t just apologize like a crazy person. I needed to hook him.Sex!Yes. I would sex my way in.
Fiona: I wish you were inside me right now.
Fiona: Oops. Autocorrect. I meant good afternoon.
Gideon: Send nudes.
Gideon: Oops. Autocorrect. I meant, hey.
I giggled. This was normal banter. I relaxed into my chair and swore tension rolled off me. Psh—I had been worried that he hated me.
