Taking a deep breath, I finally said the words I had been holding inside.
“I’m sorry I lied to you about so many things.” My voice was quiet, but it didn’t waver. “My father always scared me as a child, and when he threatened you, I was right back in that place again. That helpless, terrified nine-year-old girl who couldn’t do anything but watch as he destroyed my favorite toys, sabotaged my friendships, and made sure I never felt safe.” I swallowed, my fingers tracing lazy patterns against his arm. “I did what I thought was best. I convinced myself it was the only way to protect you. But by the time I realized that I’m not that girl anymore… the damage was done.”
Brooks tightened his grip around me, pressing a lingering kiss to my neck, his hold steady and sure. “Christ, Mitch.” His voice cracked, and I squeezed my eyes shut at the emotion bleeding into every syllable.
But he didn’t let me sit in my guilt for long. “You have no need to apologize. I should. I… I thought the worst of you when you lied, and?—”
“I wanted you to.”
That made him still, his chest rising and falling beneath my cheek.
“But I should’ve trusted you,” he murmured after a moment, regret thick in his voice. “Or fought harder. I think about it now and can see the signs, see the lies for what they were.”
“Maybe,” I said softly, because part of me knew it wouldn’t have mattered. “Maybe not.”
There had been too much history, too much weight between us. He had his own walls, just like I had mine, and it had taken both of us too long to break through them.
“My past isn’t stellar,” I admitted, suddenly feeling too exposed, too raw under the weight of his understanding. “And this thing between us is new.” I hesitated before adding, “But everything is out in the open now. My family. My past. And, I think… my feelings for you.”
Brooks hummed, a teasing note in his voice. “Are they out in the open?”
I could hear the smile in his tone, could feel it against my skin. “Because I can’t hear them.”
I huffed out a small laugh, but my heart was pounding. The words were right there, sitting on my tongue, waiting.
“This is real for me,” I whispered, barely able to get the words out. “More than anything I’ve ever experienced. And while it is terrifying to put this much trust into another person, I realized that I want it. You have the complete power to destroy me, Brooks Madsen.”
I barely had time to blink before he was moving, picking me up, spinning me around in the tub like I weighed nothing. Water sloshed over the edge, but I didn’t care. I was too busy clutching onto him, laughing through the sheer shock of it.
“Brooks—”
But he just smiled, holding me tight, waiting until I cracked an eye open.
“You have a thoughtful look on your face, B,” I teased, my own heart racing now. “One that might make me catch feelings.”
“Tough shit. Open your eyes.”
I did. And there it was.
That look. The one that made me forget to breathe. He exhaled slowly, his voice deep, rough, steady. “I love you.”
I froze. Inhaled. Exhaled.
The words settled deep inside me, filling every space that had been left empty for so long.
Brooks laughed softly, pressing his forehead to mine. “Why do you—what’s funny?”
“Your expression,” he murmured, grinning as he brushed his fingers against my cheek. “I tell you I love you, and you look constipated.”
I let out a half-snort, half-laugh, shaking my head. “Well, no one has ever said those words to me before. I wasn’t sure what would happen. Would my heart explode? Birds chirp? Rainbows appear?”
His expression shifted instantly, his smile fading just slightly.
“You’ve never heard them before?” His voice was softer now, almost careful. “Not from family?”
I shrugged, hoping the movement would hide the sting in my chest. “Nope.”
Brooks let out a slow breath, then cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs tracing slow, soothing circles against my skin.
