“So you assumed I wouldn’t believe my goddamn sister?”
“You were blind to her! You loved her! I couldn’t take that risk! I made a call and had to live with it. Now, she’s at my school, blackmailing me again and—”
“What?” he yelled, his face getting blotchy and red, and he slammed a fist on the counter. “She is back, blackmailing you at your school. You didn’t think to tell me any of this this whole fucking time?”
“Yes.”
“Gilly.” He took a long breath and clenched fists at each of his sides. “You can’t just throw money at all your problems. You should’ve told me…I would’ve…God. I can’t even look at you right now.” He closed his eyes, and I could see him physically shaking. Each tremble felt like a stake in my heart.
“She’s been threatening to get back with you this whole time, to convince you she needed space, that commitment freaked her out.” My voice came out scratchy and hoarse, and my stomach tightened with nausea. “She took my car for a week and is trying to get me fired. I just…I’m sorry. I’m so goddamn sorry.” A sob escaped my resolve, and I hunched over, hating myself a little bit.
My brother, normally one to hate to see me cry, stood stock still, his lip curling in disgust as he stared at me, hard. “You don’t get to be the victim here,” he said, his words cold and icy, a tone he had never used on me.
“I know. Iknow.” I sniffed and wiped my eyes with my hands, the mascara from that morning melting off and making me look like a rabid raccoon. “But Fritz, I’d do it again if I had to. That woman, thatcon artist,is the devil.”
“This entire time…the past six months…I’ve thought it was me. That something was wrong with me. That I wasn’t allowed to fall in love. That it wasn’t for me. But now I find out my sisterpaid a womanto leave me. This messes with you. God, I can’t…” He huffed and went into the fridge and got a beer, twisted off the cap, and downed half of it. “Did you and Grace just laugh at my self-pity this whole time when I whined about how she left me? Did you enjoy seeing me be pathetic?”
“No, of course not. She didn’t know.” I moved to grip the back of one of the barstools and took a shaky breath. “She’s a terrible human being, Fritz. I might’ve paid her, but if that meant protecting you from her, I’d do it a million times. Everything I’ve done, that I’m not proud of, was because I love you. So be pissed at me, I deserve it. God, I do. But there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
His eye twitched, and he pressed his lips together until they were white. “There are so many fucking ways this could’ve been handled, and it’s sotypicalGilly to use your funds to fix things. I’m so pissed.” He shook his head, and a vein popped up on his forehead. “I need to be alone.”
“Right, yes, I’ll leave.” I wiped under my eyes and made a movement to head toward him but stopped. The look on his face made me second-guess myself. “I love you, Fritz. I’m sorry I kept this from you, but I’m not sorry I got that bitch out of your life.”
He didn’t say anything as I walked out of his condo, and the second I got outside, the door locked, and another wave of tears fell down my cheeks. We never fought. Not in junior high or high school or as adults. We worked things out and figured a solution. But this…I’d crossed a line, and I deserved the consequences. It just hurt not knowing how long it would take for me to repair the damage.
I sat in my driver’s seat with a heavy heart that just felt worse when Christopher’s text came through.
Christopher: hoping it goes okay with your brother—he’ll forgive you, Gil. Your heart’s too big.
God. I groaned into a fist, imagining what he would say when he found out the truth about me. He’dhateme. I cried again, already mourning the best relationship I’d had in years because there was no doubt it would end when the truth came out.
Friday morning didn’t holdthe typical buzz and excitement. My mind and heart weighed heavier than normal, knowing I could’ve done irreparable damage to my relationship with Fritz. The way he looked at me, like I disappointed him behind measure, had my throat tightening and my eyes stinging as I walked into the building. I forced a smile as I walked by other staff members, but it felt tight. Fake.
I was upset about Fritz, and Samantha, but the fear bubbling up in my chest had more to do with Christopher. He admitted, multiple times, that money was a trigger for him, and telling him the truth could ruin us.If I could just wait…
“Hey, Ms. Carter,” he said, smiling at me as concerned lurked in his beautiful eyes. “I made you your favorite tea this morning. I figured you’d need an extra pep in your step.” He lifted up a navy-blue thermos and shrugged, like it wasn’t absolutely adorable seeing him bring me tea.
That meant he bought my favorite kind and made it at home. It was sohimto not just buy it at a café, and my heart swelled. “Thank you, this is so nice.”
“I don’t like seeing you sad.” He voice dropped, and we walked shoulder to shoulder to my classroom. “You have this…energy about you that is addicting. I love how positive you are, and the way you bring joy to everyone. The least I could do is bring you tea,” he said, moving his hand to brush his fingers over mine. “You want to talk about it?”
I sighed andhatedhow the guilt making my words come out choppy. “No. Maybe.”
“Ah, well,” he said, bringing his teeth over his bottom lip and letting out a slow breath. “I’m here when or if you want to talk, okay? You know that, right?”
“Yes, I do,” I said, swallowing hard and knowing that I had to tell him everything. It would change things between us. That was for sure. But seeing him look at me with all the warmth, the concern, the patience…I was in love with him. The realization about knocked me on my butt. My head spun and the air was harder to breathe in, but it was true. He was my complete opposite in almost every way, but not where it counted. My bottom lip trembled as he looked over his shoulder for a second before getting closer to me. He cupped my face with one hand and half of his mouth quirked up in a smile.
“I know we’re not supposed to show affection at work, but one kiss wouldn’t hurt, right?” He grinned before dropping his mouth to mine in a slow, tender kiss that made everything better, and worse. “You’ll get through this, Gilly. I know it.”
I couldn’t talk. Not when he looked at me like he might kind of, sort of love me too. I gripped the edge of his shirt, not wanting to let go because we had to talk. That night. He covered my hand with his and trailed his finger over my wrist before he said, “Let’s each lunch in here today. Just the two of us.”
I nodded. “Th-that’d be nice.”
He let his hand drop and took a step back as footsteps sounded in the hall. He winked before leaving my classroom, having no idea the absolute turmoil going on in my mind. I sighed, sat in my chair, and gave myself ten seconds to mope.
This is my fault. I can fix it.
No, this is Samantha’s fault.
