He hates me.
He needed to stop looking at me like that if we were going to continue to be enemies. That was for damn sure.
“Kindergarten staff, get on down here please.” Dave clapped his hands as the group of four got up from the bleachers and went to stand in the middle of the gym. They always dressed up as a group each year, not wanting to compete with each other, and it was adorable. Dave rolled his eyes and held up a sheet of paper. “I need you all to clap as loud as you can for this amazing group of ladies. They worked together so well, they are going to get free donuts for all their classes. Does that make you excited?”
It didn’t matter that fifth graders wouldn’t get the donuts. Every kid cheered, and excitement seemed to spurt more excitement. It was contagious. My nerves made my stomach do flip-flops as the kinder teachers went back to their seats. First grade was next.
“Okay, first graders. Please welcome your all-stars!”
Marisa, Maggie, Maria, Christopher, and I moved toward the center of the gym, and every muscle in my body tensed. I plastered on a fake smile because no matter what happened, I would not upset the kids. This was about me and Christopher and our weird past and challenge.
He caught my gaze again and raised his brows, leaning down to whisper to me, “Don’t be upset when you lose.”
“I’m going to kick your ass, Callahan.”
He chuckled and straightened, making our height difference more apparent as we stood shoulder to shoulder. He was a good ten inches taller than me, so I stood as tall as I could and even thought about going on my tiptoes.
Dave got a couple of paper certificates and handed them to the three Ms before thanking them for their participation. He stared at me and Christopher before bringing up three students. “You all know each year that admin scores the teachers on their SPIRIT with a rubric. Well, we have our first ever tie, and we need you all to help us choose who was more creative and innovative. Those are our foundations at Mountain Elementary, so we are going to have three students choose who they think won.”
I gulped and made a fist and hid it in my pocket, still forcing a smile as everyone watched the two of us. This tie-breaker business was new. We never had that the past three years, and Larissa met my eyes and frowned. I glanced at Christopher and enjoyed the absolute look of shock on his face. He thought he had it in the bag, and he didn’t. It feltreallygood to see him suffer. Now, I just had to win to bring it home.
Dave called three students up toward the center of the gym and handed the mic to a student both Christopher and I shared. Max. Dave bent low and smiled. “Okay, Max, tell us who you think should win. Who was creative and innovative?”
“I think,” he said, taking a long breath and shifting his weight onto his feet. “I think Ms. Carter should win because she always comes up with new ideas to help me with my art. I never stay in the lines, and she says that’s okay. She makes me feel smart.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.My eyes stung as I bent down and pulled Max into a hug. He squeezed me as tight as he could with his little arms, and Dave moved to the next student. There was a light cheer in the gym, but I was so happy at Max’s response, it filled my whole heart with joy.
“Emily, what do you think?” Dave asked, moving on to the second student standing near us.
I let go of Max and patted him on the shoulder before watching Emily.
She let out a loudhmmfor a full ten seconds, making everyone laugh. She grinned wide and stared right at me. “I like Ms. Carter because she’s safe and reminds me of my mom when she tells me she cares for me and helps me when I’m confused.”
Okay, tears for real now.I pulled Emily into a hug and didn’t care about the cheers or the competition anymore. It was stupid to get caught up in Christopher’s crap when this was the reason I taught. For this. The relationships and trust and sense of family. “You’re the best, Emily.”
She beamed at me and hugged my leg as Dave walked toward the final student. Henry was shy and wore glasses that were a little too large for his face. Dave repeated the question.
Henry took the mic and mumbled into it in his small voice, looking straight at the ground. “Uh, I think Ms. Carter is creative because she always lets us try things and doesn’t yell if we mess up.”
“Well, there you have it, Mountains. Ms. Carter is the winner for first grade!” Dave said, the gym clapping again for me as he held out a fist.
I bumped mine against his and didn’t care that I had tears on my face. My heart was three sizes too big for my chest, and I didn’t pay attention to the rest of the assembly. I didn’t even look at Christopher once because my whole reason for being was validated. My job was my life, and all the doubt Christopher put into my mind evaporated. I kept thinking about what the students said, why they liked me. They never once mentioned thethingsI had in the room or the tools or treats I brought them. It was about how they felt in my classroom, and it was what I tried to emulate every day. A safe, fun, creative place for students to learn and create memories for a lifetime.
I was more than my flash and colors, and it was good to remember that.
“Hey.”
A voice pulled me from my roller coaster of emotion, and I blinked a few times before turning to see Christopher moving to sit down right next to me on the bleachers. He didn’t leave more than two inches between our legs, and I had the urge to scoot over.
“I don’t want to hear a word unless it’snice job, Ms. Carter.Don’t ruin this for me, please. I needed it today.” I took a breath, and my throat felt heavy, like the air was peanut butter and I was trying to breathe it in. “If you’re worried about the training I’ll select, don’t worry. It won’t be about how to decorate a classroom or bribe your students into liking you.”
He winced, like I wanted him to, and it was the first time he looked ashamed of himself. His face paled, and his lips parted an inch before he sighed. “You’ll pick something about literacy, won’t you?”
“Yes, because that is something I’m passionate about. Now, excuse me.” I got up, leaving him sitting there with a confused look stretched across his face. I thought winning would feel better after seeing Christopher, but it didn’t. My body was weighed down in disappointment in the fact that the student’s answers shocked him so much. So it couldn’t possibly be true.
I clapped for the rest of the assembly and didn’t have to fake my smile when I went back to my class to finish day. The students were thrilled for me and let me know all day, and my dark cloud left the longer I was around them. It wasn’t until the last student got on the bus for the day that Samantha stood next to me outside, the closest person to us at least twenty yards away.
“I’ll see you Monday, Gilly. Better figure out some solution for me. You are soinnovativeandcreative,right? You’ll figure it out, dear, Ms. Carter.” She curved her pink lips into a menacing grin and winked before strutting in the other direction.
