“People feel this way all the time? That’s awful!” I moaned, vowing to not date for two years to prevent the anxiety.
“Yeah. It sucks, but you get used to it and don’t catch feelings.” She pursed her cherry red lips and continued. “The second thing though is being devil’s advocate. You hug people all the time. You have good looking friends.”
“Yeah, but—”
“No. You don’t know his relationship with this blonde. See my point?”
“Eh, not really,” I groaned before taking the final sip of my second drink. I held the glass against my cheek and appreciated the coldness of it. The first drink was already warming me up. “Gil, I think I love him.”
“I think you do, too.” She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She blinked a lot and ran a hand over her brow a couple of times. “My point was that you don’t know the situation unless you talk to him about it. If people didn’t know you and Fritz were basically siblings, people wouldn’t understand your relationship. Don’t assume and worry yourself until you know.”
“That is so much easier said than done.”
“Shit. I know.” She put her arm around me again and enveloped me in her perfume. “How about this? We get drunk. Order late night food and watch scary movies. Sound good?”
“I have to work tomorrow.” I lowered my forehead to the bar and rested it there in defeat.
“Everyone has been to work hungover at least once. Tomorrow can be that day. Do you have a lot going on tomorrow?”
I thought about and shook my head. “No. Not really.”
“Then it is settled. If Fritz shows up, he can join, but until then, let’s get started.”
* * *
Regret.That’s what my mouth tasted like. It was a fierce, sour regret taste sitting in my sandpaper mouth when I woke up the next morning. My head was next to Gilly’s, her bare legs sprawled over me. I played back the night like a slideshow.
Ollie’s whiskey.
CO’s blue dragon night.
Gucci’s club.
Pizza.
Bed at 1:30.
I hated myself. I officially had the hangover from hell. I reached out my hand to look for my phone, the cold metal hitting my fingers. I prayed I didn’t text anyone. I scrolled through, back to front, and didn’t find a thing. “Thank God.”
My voice croaked, the need for caffeine motivating me to get up and throw on clothes. I found an old hat and called it a day. The hat concealed how much of a hot mess I was, and I somehow hobbled to my car to drive to the coffee shop. Eating was the fastest way to cure a hangover, even though the thought of food made me want to vomit. Vomit big time. I covered my mouth with my hand and shoved a piece of gum in it.
Why did I do this?
Oh, because I had a moment of insanity about Brock. It’s his fault. Yeah, blame him.
I pulled into the parking lot and set my head on the wheel, taking breaths. I could do this. Worse case, I would throw up and never drink again. It took a full minute of slow walking and deep breaths before I ordered the largest coffee they had and a warm, buttery chocolate croissant. I waited patiently for it when the entrance opened. A familiar laugh floated through the shop. I glanced at the door just as Brock and the blonde walked into the shop together. His arm was around her shoulder, both of them smiling.
I put my hand over my mouth, running to the bathroom. I threw up as soon as I got in there. My eyes watered, and my throat burned. The worst of it was the weight nestling itself in my chest, right by my heart. She’d slept over. The sickening feeling crushed my soul. I had no right and yet, I felt every ounce of it. I pushed myself up and wiped under my eyes. I washed out my mouth in the faucet and manned the hell up. I wouldn’t let him see me cry. Nope. I would not give him that.
My drink and croissant were sitting on the table, and the barista yelled out, “Grace!” I refused to look at him. I grabbed the stuff, smiling as best I could, and turned to leave. As luck would have it, I had to walk pasthimto the exit. With my eyes faced down, I tried to make a clean escape. But, nope. He saw me. He had to say my name in that tone that made me want to wiggle my toes.
“Grace? Hey.” He had no right using that soft tone on me. His blue eyes sparkled, and the smile I loved formed on his lips. “Fancy seeing you here.”
I clenched my teeth together as the blonde stepped forward to talk to the barista. I managed a nod and a quick smile before stepping to the side, but he was quick. He matched my movements, his brows furrowing as his stare deepened at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I said in a clipped tone. “Just trying to get to work. See you later,” I said way too quickly and practically ran out of the café.Jesus.
Once I got into my car, I could feel him watching me through the window. I had no reason to believe the sincerity in his eyes was real. He looked happy to see me. Truly happy. But, he could’ve gotten lucky last night, so that was why he was happy.
