“Your mom sounds like a strong woman.”
“She was. She was the bravest, kindest, strongest person I knew.” Another intense emotion flew through me, my throat closing in that awful way when I fought tears. I cleared my throat to help the words come out.
“Losing my sister and my niece almost destroyed me,” he said so softly, I had to lift my head to hear him correctly.
“Oh, Brock.” I now gripped his hand, turning to face him. “I’m so sorry. I heard about it, but events like that are the last thing I want to read about.”
His voice had an eerily, monotone change to it. Like he had to distance himself from it to talk about it. “I had been in the NFL for a couple of years, living life like I always wanted. Leslie, my sister, was my number one fan. More than my parents. God, we were close. I’m pretty closed off, but she had a way to make me open up to the world.” He paused, and his voice got darker. “I needed a ride home one night.”
My stomach dropped, oh my god. Was this the career changing accident? My blood turned to ice, wishing I could change his story.
“It wasn’t even a drunk driver or anything. I was at the airport that was close to her place. She brought Dina with her. On the ride back, a driver hit her side of the car, causing us to spin out and smack into a light pole. We bent around it, trapping me and crushing my arm.” His voice trailed off, becoming rougher and filled with an emotion I was very familiar with. “Her and Dina died on impact. I had to, uh, I watched them remove their bodies from the car.”
“Oh my god. Brock. No.” I wanted to crawl into his lap to hug the sadness away from him. Anything, anything but this. “You don’t have to finish.”
“I want to.” He sniffed, clearing his throat. “My arm was trapped in the metal of the car, but I had to get to them. I ripped it out. But, it was too late. They were already gone. If I hadn’t called her that night, they would still be alive.”
I sucked in a breath, shaking my head. Survivor’s guilt. It had the potential to be soul-crushing. “Don’t think like that, you can’t.”
“I lost my best friend, niece, and career in one night. People think I was upset about my career ending, and I was, but it was nothing compared to the despair I had about my sister and Dina.”
“I hate that this happened to you,” I whispered. Shit like this changes a person.
“Every time I’m laughing, or having a good time, I remember, and it goes away. How is it fair if I get to live my life when they lost theirs?” His voice sounded tormented, and suddenly, it all made sense.
People hurting themselves.
The need to care and help others.
The frown lines permanently scarred into his face.
The mood swings.
He felt he didn’t deserve to be happy. My heart broke for this man. I scooted closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder and squeezing his middle. Screw the lines he drew earlier. He was my temporary boss who had suffered a loss. We could support one another.
Greif did different things to people, and when it was shared, even a little bit, it was comforting. So, I cuddled up next to Asshole Anderson, and he put his arm around me, squeezing right back. It was dark, late at night, and felt right.
We stayed like that the entire ride back, taking comfort in each other. Sure, lines were blurred, and things changed, but I couldn’t complain. We had our broken pieces put together, even if just for one night.
Chapter Thirteen
Summer turned to fall,and while nothing had changed between Brock and I since our shared night in a hotel room, things were fine. We worked together and kept every single thing professional. Sure, when I got him to laugh from time to time, it felt like I’d won a million dollars, but there were no lingering feelings I had for my boss—at least, I told myself that every day.
There was a small break room where a shitty coffee machine sat, and that was where Logan and I had met every day before work the last couple of weeks. Today was no different. I walked in and saw him sitting there with his mug of coffee. “Morning, Grace. I went on a Tinder date last night. I swear, I thought she left, but when I woke up, she was still very much there, and she’d made sock puppet lookalikes for both of us.”
I laughed, pouring myself a mug and joining him. “Did you make her leave when you left to come here? Please don’t tell me you left her there, in your place. That would be a real, real bad move.”
“I’m not completely an idiot. Fuck. But, I wouldn’t put it past her to make a copy of my key in the middle of the night. Should I be worried?” His brows disappeared into his hairline.
“Did you wrap that shit up?” I gestured to his crotch, scrunching my nose in disgust. “If you didn’t, get your shit checked out. ASAP.”
“First, Gracie, don’t call my dick shit. It’s rude.” He rolled his eyes, sipping his coffee. “And yes. Thank you for your concern.”
“You’re a hot mess, Logan,” I said, fighting a smile. He had become a nice ally in the stadium. Sure, he was easy on the eyes, but we’d formed an easy friendship, and for that, I was thankful. Friends were hard to make when all I did was work, so having him was a little perk. “I’m glad we’re friends, but you are a lot to handle.”
“Oh, I’m aware.” He looked way too smug about the fact, too. “Listen, I’m texting you if this chick shows back up. I might need you to pretend to be my girlfriend or something.”
“Let me know. I might be up for it. Just once. Then, you’ll owe me, majorly.”
