Rosa’s face comes into focus across the table, eyes wet with unshed tears. Maya’s turned away, shielding Leo’s eyes. Cameron’s frozen mid-bite, spoon halfway to his mouth.
And Sienna. Sienna’s staring at her bowl.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m f?—”
“Don’t.” Julien’s arms wrap around me. “It’s okay.”
My laugh sounds more like a sob. “Nothing about this is okay.”
“I know.”
“She’s gone.” The words crack something open inside me. “They’re all gone and I can’t—I don’t?—”
She’s gone.
My sister is dead.
Dead because she saved me.
She’s gone. She’s gone. She’s gone.
The words pound through me with each heartbeat, each one striking harder than the last.
Dead because—No.
She was the one supposed to be healthy and finally be able to live her life.
The world suddenly tilts as Julien scoops me up. My legs dangle, and I wrap my arms around his neck, hiding my face as the tears keep rolling.
His boots thud against hardwood. Up stairs. Down a hallway. A door creaks.
Then softness beneath me as he lowers me onto a bed. The mattress dips under his weight as he sits beside me, one hand finding mine.
“I can’t stop seeing her face.” My body shakes with sobs that feel torn from somewhere deeper than my lungs. “When she?—”
Silence stretches. Outside, the wind rattles the windows.
“I keep forgetting she’s not here.” Ugly, choking sounds scrape my throat raw. “My brain just—It won’t accept that she’s?—”
His thumb seeks my wrist again. That slow, steady circle.
“I was supposed to protect her.” Tears blur everything. “That was my job.”
“You did protect her.”
“She’s dead.”
“She chose that.” His other hand cradles my face. “Dakota, look at me.”
I do. His eyes are dark in the dim light filtering through the curtains.
“She made her choice.” His thumb traces my cheekbone. “You didn’t kill her. Those things did.”
“But I left her.”
“What else could you have done?”
“I don’t know.” My chest heaves. “Stayed. Died with her. Something.”
