Chapter 38 -Alli
My breath comes as shallow pants as Rambo, and I come to a slow stop at the stop sign. We’ve taken to morning runs together around the neighbourhood to get his energy out early. He lifts his leg to pee.
Thankfully, he’s been rather easy to potty train. Even though he was a pain in my ass at first, I’ve come to love him. He’s growing fast. Faster than I expected. It’s helped Hudson to practice some responsibility.
I can’t help but glance over at Tate’s house at least three times as I pass by. I know he has to have a killer headache today. My heart tumbles when his front door opens, right as I’m passing.
“Hi, Alli!” Matty calls as he makes his way down the drive.
“Hey kiddo. Whatcha up to?”
“Dad told me to take the trash cans out. Yours too.” He shrugs. I shake my head.
“You don’t have to get mine, really.”
“Eh, it’s okay. Dad does it all the time, so I can too.” He starts tugging theirs down to the street and I tilt my head trying to remember the last time I had to pull them out or even ask Hudson to.Huh.
“How’s your dad doing?” I ask, fiddling with Rambo’s leash.
“Today? Um, I think he’s kind of sick. He looks kinda green, but he had a bunch of bacon. Like a whole pack.” He said using his hands while he talks. I wonder if they notice they sign randomly. I giggle at the thought of Tate, trying to be nice through his hangover.
“Wanna come in? He’s making cinnamon rolls today.” Matty asks after dragging my trash cans out too.
“Sure. Thanks for taking mine out, too.” I say as I follow him into the house. He joins Hudson out in the backyard, probably steering clear of a crabby Dad today. Tate stands there with his forehead pressed to the cool refrigerator. “Hey, cowboy. How are you feeling?”
His head snaps up, and he groans from the sudden movement. His fingers rub at his temples. “Alli, I’m so sorry about yesterday. You must think I’m a mess.”
I tilt my head, pretending to consider, “A cute one at least.”
He blinks. A grin slowly spreads across his face before he tilts his head back on a laugh. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me to him. His eyes widen when he realizes he did. Clearing his throat, he sobers up and takes a step back.
“Sorry, I... uh, you’re probably here to talk about something… else right?” He sheepishly grips the back of his reddening neck.
“Tate.” I say when he won’t stop fidgeting. This big strong man who is usually so self-assured is…nervous.I can’t help the giggle that escapes. His eyes snap to mine.
“Sorry,” I cover my mouth. “Not laughing at you.” His eyes narrow. I hold up a hand with my thumb and first finger nearly touching, “Okay, I was just a little.”
“Come on, let’s go sit.” Tate says with a shake of his head. He leads us into the living room and settles onto the oversized couch. It’s designed for large people because I sink into it a little. “Look, Alli… I haven’t dated. You know I had Matty when I was basically a kid myself and... I’ve never made room for anything serious. Nobody has made me want that.”
I take his hand while he speaks, squeezing gently. He takes a deep breath and rubs his jaw, his tattoo peaks out at the gesture.
“My mom and biological dad—their life together was awful. He was everything I never wanted to be. Scotty was the collateral. Then she met Owen and our whole lives changed for the better. He taught me how to be a father and a good man. I know I could take care of you Alli. You can trust me with your heart— And Hudson’s.”
His knee bounces before he rubs a palm over his jeans. I want to jump in and reassure him. Except that I need this. I need him to be putting his heart on the line first.
“God, Darlin’. I need you more than I need air. And I’m hoping and praying that you need me too.” Tate’s gaze is on our joined hands as he speaks, like he’s too afraid to look at me.
“I don’t.” I say evenly. Tate stills. He carefully takes his hand from mine, leaning forward and putting his elbows on his knees. His head hangs down for a moment before he turns it to me. His lips are rolled in as he fights his emotions. “I don’t need you, Tate. After TJ, aftereverything…I don’t need anybody. I know I can handle life and being a mom all on my own.”
He nods, not reaching for me and not moving away. Just frozen. Listening. I reach over and put a hand on his forearm.
“But I want you. You make me feel like it’s safe to let my walls down, to let you in. I never felt that way about anyone else.” I say looking into his eyes, so he understands that I really mean it. His eyes flick between mine. I blink back tears. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner. But I think that we could be really great together— all of us. I know that I could do it without you, but I really don’t want to.”
The grin that spreads across his face lights me up inside. His large hands grip my waist and yank me onto his lap. I can’t help the giggle as he hugs my waist, burying his face in my hair.
“Thank fuck. I thought you were about to shatter my heart, Alli.” His voice is muffled. I lean back and grab his face with both hands. Tate takes my lips between his. Our mouths move together in a way that makes the world melt away, and there is nothing but him and I. The walls around my heart are nothing but rubble and debris.
One hand travels down my back, pulling my hips closer to him while the other finds its way into my hair and tugs gently.
