“You just want that to pay for your own bills and vacations.” TJ rolls his eyes.
“No, TJ. I declined spousal support. But in our divorce, you are required to pay for Hudson’s needs too. He doesn’t need presents bought on a whim. He needs a college fund.” I shake my head at him. I’m pacing back and forth now, trying to release this pent-up anger and resentment.
I can’t stop it now; the faucet is on. Everything flies from my mouth rapidly.
“Let’s not forget about the youth league you guilt him into playing because it’s the only thing you have in common and I have to foot the bill. You sure love to act like a big-time hockey player and yet you can barely provide for your son. I’m a PR agent, not even the head of the department and yet, I'm the one paying for all your impulse decisions. All you’ve done is throw another expense on my shoulders by getting him a puppy. And If—IFyou would’ve had the decency to ask, I would’ve saidhell no.” I end my rant in a panting breath.
“What the hell were you thinking?” I ask defeatedly. My hand is pressed to my forehead trying to stave off the throbbing headache.
“I thought it would make it easier for him to hear the news.” TJ says hesitantly. I know fromthe look on his face that whatever is coming is worse than the dog.
My head snaps up and the back of my neck prickles with a strange awareness. “What news?”
“Tanya’s pregnant.”
I physically stumble backwards as if his words shoved me. My eyes are blinking rapidly, trying to fight off the shock.
My mind isn’t wrapping around the words. Shecan’tbe.
We tried. We tried foryears.
We never went to fertility clinics. I didn’t want to go through that the way so many women in my life had. I didn’t think I could survive that finality of someone telling me my body was broken.
After feeling hopeless, I’d confided in Emalyn. She bought out the ice cream aisle and held me while I cried. Without her, I would’ve fallen apart with the acceptance.
I was happy with our son. I convinced myself it didn’t matter.
But this? It proves my body is the issue. ThatI’mthe one who prevented us from having more children.
“When?” I ask. TJ just stares. I clarify. “When is she due?”
TJ throws his arms out and sighs. “Does it matter?”
“Yes.” I nod, blinking back tears.
“Early April.” TJ says a rare hint of shame in his tone.
I quickly do the math in my head andholy shit.
This woman in my home, carrying his baby is one of the women he cheated on me with.Conceived before the divorce was even finalized.
I bite my lip trying like hell to keep the tears at bay.
“So what? You get Hudson a dog? Something to distract from the fact that you’re an absent father? Or from the fact that you were working on a new family before you even got rid of the old one?” TJs eyes flick over my shoulder. I turn. I forgot that Tate was even in the room.
I flush down to my toes with embarrassment.
“OhGod. I’m s— “I start but am cut off with a firm shake of his head. Tate’s face is beet red, jaw tight but his demeanor is eerily calm. He takes a long stride, stopping directly in front of me. He leans down and takes my face in his hands.
“Don’t apologize, Alli. You didnothingwrong.”
“You’re one to talk, Al.” TJ flicks a hand through the air, using a nickname he knows I hate. “Looks like you’ve been working on my replacement too.”
“You’re gonna wanna shut the fuck up, Troy.” Tate warns, holding me to his side.
“Whatever, I’m leaving. Tellmyson, I’ll see him next weekend.” TJ collects Tanya and leaves. She has the decency to look abashed as she passes us.
Tate holds me the whole time, a hand brushing my hair. I don’t cry. I hold the tears in. I think Tate squeezing me holds the tears - and everything else- in.
