“Hudson, even if I was mad, I will always love you. Doing good things won’t make me love you more and doing bad things won’t make me love you less. I always love you, sweetheart. Just for being Hudson.”
“I know mom.” He leans his head against my hand that’s stroking his cheek. He’s quiet for a moment and I wonder what’s on his little heart.
I don’t have to wonder for long. Hudson doesn’t keep much to himself.
“I’m just glad Mr. Tate didn’t yell at me or Matty for breaking the window. He didn’t fuss at us or anything. I was really scared he would.” He says earnestly with wide eyes. My heart aches for the pain my marriage caused him. I wish I could go back and do things differently for him.
“I’m sorry, Hudson.” I pet his golden blonde hair. He has always taken after me as far as looks. His personality is all himself though. “Iknow Dad yelled a lot. I’m sorry that’s the first thing he taught you to expect out of people when you make a mistake.”
“I... I just thought it was all dads. You don’t yell, and my teachers don’t yell. Coach Mack yells sometimes but that sports, you know? We have to be tough.” He shrugs one shoulder. He gives me a guilty look like he’s about to confess to another broken window. “I’m sort of… glad he cancelled this weekend. I don’t really like going to his house.”
“Okay.”
“Wait... you’re not mad?”
“Why would I be?” A small frown pushes my brows together.
“Um, I don’t know. Do I still have to keep going?” He asks, pushing himself onto his elbows.
“Honestly, I’m not sure yet.” I try not to lie. I can’t offer up the information that TJ may not want to be his dad anymore.
I don’t even know how to deliver that news in the first place. The idea of telling him only tohave to take it back later seems like a worse scenario anyways.
The look of hope that crosses his face breaks my heart.
“Hudson… Your dad… or anyone visiting there, never make you scared, do they?”
“Sometimes when Dad yells, I get a little scared. He never does it when his friends are around though.” He says it as if to say don’t worry.
“Okay, thank you for telling me.” I give him a small smile despite the way my heart aches and decide to read him one more book. That way he won’t go to bed with those thoughts in his head.
I stay until Hudson’s fallen asleep and dreaming. I get cosy in my blue silk pajamas and comb out my hair.
Only once I'm finally under my cool white sheets do I lay back on the pillow and let the events of the day play through my head like a movie.
I fall asleep with my fingertips pressed to my almost kissed lips and the memory of his breath on my face.
Chapter 7- Tate
Yet another day waking up to the incessant buzzing of the group chat.
Frozen Five
Jordan
Your Captain speaking: Do Not, I repeat Do Not miss the team plane departing at 8:45am.
Jordan
If you do, that’s on you. Consider this your friendly warning. Coach Randy will be out for blood.
Fitz
If you want him to like you, Do Not call him Randy.
Ronan
Copy that.
