I watch my family enjoy themselves from a few feet away. My dad, throwing snowballs at my screaming mother and laughing sister. Emma, sitting down in the snow with Gracie between her legs as she throws snow dust in the air, letting it all fall down on them while my daughter squeals away with delight.
A snowball goes flying past my sister and hits Em right in the shoulder. She gasps loudly, begins to form a snowball of her own, and sends it sailing toward my father. But with her terrible aim, she greatly misses him and ends up hitting my mother on the back of the head, and within the next second, a fight quickly breaks out.
Snow flies everywhere, and laughter and screams can be heard from miles away. Bunny shields my daughter with her body and blindly gathers clumps of snow from the ground, throwing it anywhere she can even if she’s nowhere near her target.
She fits so perfectly here, with my family, with Gracie.With me.Those thoughts unsettle me. But they still bring a smile to my face as I keep looking at the way her skin glows in the snow. The way her hair shines like it’s pure fire. The radiant sparkle of her dazzling smile. She’s hypnotizing.
I’m so fucked.
Emma picks up my daughter in her outstretched hands and lifts her in the air above her. They’re both laughing, pure euphoria on their faces. Without thinking, I quickly pull out my phone and snap a picture of the perfect moment.
“You’re falling for her.”
I startle and almost drop my phone at the sound of my sister’s voice.How did she get here?I was so entranced by Bunny with Gracie that I didn’t even notice Aubrey walking over. When I turn to her, she observes me with an analytical look.
“I can’t.” It’s the only answer I give her. Because it’s true.I can’t fall for Emma.
“Why not?” She furrows her brows in confusion.
“Because it would complicate things. And I don’t want to bring just any woman into Gracie’s life that could potentially leave again. Anyway, Emma doesn't want anything with me.”
“But you’ve already brought her into your daughter's life, and she’s not going anywhere even if you decide to just stay friends. And did Em really say that? Or is that how you think she feels? Because from where I’m standing, she looks at you the same way you look at her.”
I look back at my girls, where Bunny is now making a snow angel beside my daughter.Is my sister right? Does Emma feel the same, and she’s simply holding back like I am? Maybe out of fear?
“How can I be sure it’s not just lust, or a crush like with Rose? You know me better than most. I’m not the settling-down type. I don’t feel things for women easily.” I’ve never admitted my feelings for Cecilia to anyone but Emma, but I know my sister has always had her doubts about the subject.
“You’re not a boy anymore, Grey. You’re a grown man with a child. It’s okay for you to want to settle down now.”She’s right, I’m a thirty-year-old grown-ass man. I can’t keep acting like a bachelor. I need to start thinking about my future, as well as my daughter’s.
She comes closer, whispering in my ear, “By the way, you’ve never looked at Cecilia like that.” When I turn my head to her quickly, she smiles and pulls away, walking slowly toward our family. “Come on, big brother. Let’s go sledding.”
Two hours later, we’re all taking our last turns going down the hill to then head over to the cabin and have lunch. My family is already down the slope waiting, only Emma and I are left to make our way down.
“Oh! Let’s do the last one together! These things are big enough for two, right? We can do it. It’ll be fun! Say yes!”
“Em, I hardly fit on my own sled. How do you expect us to both fit on one?”
“How do people have sex in tiny sports cars? The same way. They make it fit. Now come on, Ford. Get that sexy hockey butt of yours over here.”
I walk over and chuckle. The way her mind works fascinates me. I look down at both our toboggan sleds, trying to see how this can possibly work out.Simple, it can’t.“Bunny, there’s no way we can do this.”
“Too late, mine’s already making its way down.” She kicks her sled and sends it sliding away. “Bye, bye, Sleddy.” She waves at it, then giggles when she sees my annoyed expression. “Okay, now sit,” she instructs, pointing to our only ride left.
I sigh and sit down. She rearranges my legs like I’m a puppet and crosses them loosely, leaving a hollow hole between them. She then plops her butt down in it, grabbing my arms and wrapping them around her waist. “I’ll guide us. You hold on.”
“That doesn’t seem like a good idea. You’re a terrible sled driver. You’ve fallen off every time you went down so far.”
She laughs merrily. “That is not true!”It is. It’s one hundred percent true.“Ready!? Give us a push, Greyson. You’re too heavy, I can’t get us moving.”
I let go of her and try to push us forward with my hands.
“What are you doing!? Don’t let go! You’ll fall off,” Em shrieks, looking back at me.
I growl loudly. “What do you want, Emma? You want me to hold on? Or you want me to push? Because I can’t do both! Jesus, woman. You’re driving me crazy!”
She giggles and buries her face into her scarf. “Push, please.”Freaking woman.
I finally get us close to the ledge, and with one final push, we start coasting down the hill. Bunny squeals and laughs as she pulls on the strings attached to the front of the sled, making it go from side to side.
