“What the hell is that?” Greyson looks on with disgust.
“My special mug. Don’t touch it.”
“I wouldn’t touch that thing even if you offered. It’s hideous.”
I gasp loudly. “Maybe to you, but she’s perfect to me. No need to hurt her feelings.” I walk my cup over to the cabinets, rubbing my thumb back and forth over the bumpy surface. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just jealous he doesn’t have a special mug like you.” Then I place my sunflower mug up on the shelf.
“Holy shit, she’s even crazier than I thought,” he mutters under his breath, but I still manage to hear him and roll my eyes.
Gracie begins to fuss in her seat, throwing the toys I had left her on the floor. Greyson heads over to his daughter and scoopsher up, then looks at her outfit before turning to me with Gracie facing forward in his outstretched hands as he frowns. “You’re going to make me regret this deal, aren’t you?”
I giggle and take Little Tulip from his hands. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I stand in my room with a towel wrapped around my body, having just come out of the shower. Greyson was just putting Gracie to bed when I called it a night, telling him I was tired, and retreated to my bedroom.
The truth is, I’m not really tired, but after all the smiling and faking my life is perfect for the past few hours in front of him, I needed a moment to myself. A moment where I don’t have to pretend so much. Because as much as I want to act like I’m okay with my breakup, I’m not entirely.
It’s not about Tommy. I’m not hung up on him now that I’ve taken the last twenty-four hours to see him for who he really was all along. It’s just everything around it that’s still weighing me down. Realizing how much I changed into a version of myself I don’t like just to please him. How I let him treat me like shit repeatedly even though I knew it was wrong. How I let him control me and my life, decide who I was allowed to hang out with or not.
And then there’s that naggingstupidvoice inside my head that keeps wondering if maybe I really am the problem. I mean, I have no doubt that Tommy is just a cheating asshole who’s unfaithful to every woman he dates. But when I look back on my past relationships, which usually only consist of hookupsbecause they never lead to anything more, I can’t help myself from questioning if maybe I’m too much to handle.
Or maybe I’m just not enough for someone to choose…
As much as I hate to admit it, I think it’s why I latched on so hard to Tommy and did everything possible to make our relationship work. He was my first serious relationship, and even though I’ve always acted like I wasn’t into the whole commitment thing, my heart fell for the fact that someone had finally chosen me first. That someone actually wanted me, and possibly forever.
But I should have known better...
Not even my own parents ever put me first, so why would a man who owes me nothing?
Standing in front of the tall mirror along the wall, I glide my fingers through my damp hair, looking over my features. The shape of my eyes and brows, the length of my eyelashes, the size of my nose and lips, how defined my cheekbones are, and my chin.
I move my gaze down to my neck, then the top portion of my breasts, wondering if maybe they’re too small or if one is bigger than the other. Turning from one side to the other, I look over my curves, questioning if maybe something about them makes me unappealing.
I hate these thoughts. I hate these insecurities. I never used to be like this. I used to love myself—love my body—and deep down, I know I still do. But that nasty voice won’t shut up, won’t stop making me doubt myself, and won’t stop making me feel like something about me isn’t right.
I swallow past the lump forming in my throat as my eyes trail over my arms, specifically to my biceps, where deep purple marks now reside. I knew at that moment that Tommy was holding onto me too hard. I could feel the pain of his grip through my coat. But I didn’t realize just how bad it was until Isaw them last night in the hotel bathroom. Although at that time they were still red and didn’t look as horrible as they do now that they’ve fully bruised.
Tears well in my eyes as I bring my fingers up to the sore skin, softly caressing over the marks on my right arm. I’ve been popping painkillers all day to try and ignore the pain in my arms, but I’ll need to figure out some way to get rid of the soreness faster. Carrying a baby with pain like that shooting up your arms constantly is no fun.
How can someone who claims to love you hurt you in such a way?
But the truth is, Tommy never loved me. I was simply a prized possession to him. The daughter of a wealthy man. A way to climb the ladder in his career thanks to dating the boss’s daughter. Nothing more. I see that now.
It was never about me…
There’s a soft knock at the door right as it begins to open, and Greyson pops his head in. “Hey, I was just checking to make sure you didn’t need anything before heading in for the night.”
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” I offer him a smile and move my hand from my arm, holding on to the towel instead.
I’m not embarrassed to be standing in only a towel in front of him; being naked in front of men has never been something that makes me uncomfortable. But I’d rather not do it on purpose to make things awkward between us either, and an accidentally dropped towel would definitely do that.
He begins to nod, but then a deep frown sets along his brows as he pushes the door open and strides in before I have time to understand what’s happening. I stare at him with wide eyes as he grabs my elbow roughly and slightly lifts my arm, causing me to wince.Guess I’m due for one last dose of pain meds before bed.
His eyes snap up to mine instantly with a look of rage in them. “What the fuck is that?!”
“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” I pull my elbow out of his grasp and step back.
“That’s not fucking nothing, Emma!” He quickly looks at my other arm, finding an identical bruise on that one. “Jesus Christ! What did he do to you?!”
