“When we first met, never would I have imaginedthis.” Liz pressed her hands to her chest. “Then after you lost Lennox, I knew I had my work cut out for me because you’d become guarded, grief-stricken… understandably. But now…”
“I know,” Rylee whispered, closing her eyes. “I can’t believe it some mornings either. Like, how did I get here?”
“With work,” Liz answered. “And a commitment… to yourself. To your healing. Most importantly, patience and not giving up on yourself.That’show.”
“Yeah.” Rylee blinked back tears.
She knew what Liz was saying was true. But Rylee also knew she wasn’t completely changed… and that she was still carrying whatever element inside herself that made her resistant to sudden changes.
“Well,” Rylee started, taking another big inhale of the air around them. She picked up traces of old books stacked on the shelves in the basement before releasing the air on an exhale. “I can admit I’ve grown but I’mstillhardheaded, Liz.”
Liz arched a brow.
“Change still feels threatening sometimes… even when Iknowthe change is good, you know?”
Liz reached for her trusty black book and Rylee grinned to herself. What she wouldn’t give to get a little peek inside that thing.
As soon as Liz flipped the book open and pressed down on her pen’s ejector, she looked up at Rylee and asked, “What’s going on?”
Rylee spent the next few minutes telling Liz all about the house in Greene Gardens Xander bought without telling her. She also shared how him buying the house, although he meant well, triggered fears inside of her she hadn’t yet addressed and didn’t really want to either.
“You know Ivy Pressman, right?” Rylee asked. “The woman who just left here?”
“Mmm-hmm,” Liz replied.
“She lives out there. In Greene Gardens,” Rylee explained. “She says it’s amazing, and perfect for her and her little family. But… it’snotthe brownstone here in Brooklyn.”
Liz tilted her head to one side.
Rylee planted her Jordans on the floor and used her leverage to push herself up in her chair.
“Lennox bought that brownstone for us,” she explained. “He wanted to raise Nova under one roof and bought it so that we could do that. Granted, we didn’t account for having another baby, but still, I made room… moved into Lennox’s bedroom after he died and gave Nova mine, and gave Nova’s old room to LJ. But now…” She sighed. “I know Xander is right. We’re going to need more space. But my whole life is in that brownstone, Liz. I’ve made a home there, and…”
Liz sat silently, waiting.
Rylee shook her head, knowing what she wanted to say but not wanting to put it out there… knowing she’d need to address it. Liz wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Say it, Rylee,” Liz encouraged, seeming to read Ryle’s mind. “Say the thing you want to say.”
Rylee squeezed her eyes closed then sucked her teeth. “It’s the last piece of Lennox I have and I don’t want to let it go.”
Liz nodded slowly, lowering her attention to her black book to jot something down.
“If the brownstone is gone, that’s it,” Rylee continued. “I would have completely removed him from my life. The children could possibly forget him, since Nova’s early memories of her father are literally planted in the walls of that brownstone.”
Rylee bit at her bottom lip.
“The brownstone ismorethanjusta brownstone to me. It’s stability. It’s family. It’s our home. And leaving it… I’m justso scaredof what leaving might symbolize.”
“These are all valid feelings, Rylee.” Liz nodded. “I want to start there.”
Rylee released the air she didn’t realize she was holding onto.
“What you are feeling is real. What you are fearing is understandable,” Liz added. “Keeping yourself in this state of fear and worry isnot.”
Liz uncrossed her legs and moved to the edge of her seat.
“Change is unsettling, but it is the only constant in life. You say the brownstone means all these things to you, but it isn’t the brownstone that’s holding those things.Youare.”
