Then why was her heart having the hardest time agreeing with that?
“Here’s what I’d like for you to do,” Liz started. “I want you to try documenting the moments that scare you and then the ones that soften you. In a notebook, and in one column, name your fear in detail. In the other column, name what Xander actually did. Doing it this way should help you put things in perspective instead of focusing on your fear of change. It’ll help you separate your concern from what’s really happening.”
Rylee smiled, finally feeling the weight on her chest lighten a little.
Truthfully, she’d kept a lot of what she revealed to Liz to herself. To her, it just sounded so first-world—but in terms of love.
Great guy all around, but too great where she feared her kids would forget their dad… or worse, love Xander more.
Rylee exhaled at that, leaning forward to pick her mug up off the coffee table to drink.
“How does that sound to you?” Liz quizzed. “Do you think you can do that and we discuss it during your next session?”
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
“Great,” Liz replied, turning the page in her notebook to add new notes.
As Rylee’s gaze shifted to out the window, already creating an invisible column in her head of her fears and the things that soften her about Xander, Liz asked, “What is it that you really want now, Rylee?”
Rylee refocused on Liz.
“Now that you have the kids, the career, and the boyfriend who you’ve described as great,” Liz continued. “What is it that Rylee wants now?”
Rylee sat with the thought for a beat then did a shrugging gesture with the sides of her mouth.
A flash of Lennox laughing at the kitchen counter in the brownstone flickered uninvited through her mind. Quick, sharp, gone… just like that.
Like him.
“Other than my best friend back?”
Liz gave Rylee her usual sympathetic soft eyes.
“Nothing,” Rylee added. “For once, everything is perfect… all except for that.”
Birds chirped outside the bedroom window—a familiar Saturday soundtrack in Brooklyn Heights. Most people were easing into the weekend. Rylee, on the other hand, was stuck in a silent panic, sitting on the edge of her bed.
Rylee loved the weekends for the opportunity to spend time with her kids… who she was worried about this a.m.
Nothing serious.
Only concerning.
That they would find Xander in her bedroom.
She sat at the edge of the bed, feet planted firm against her floor, battling worry and being turned on.
Her eyes were fixed on Xander as he towered over one of the sinks in her en suite, brushing his teeth. He lifted his head, pushing back the neat crown of dark brown locs that always seemed to fall into his eyes these days. His fade was still sharp, eyes even sharper when they met hers in the mirror.
He smiled over his toothbrush and winked, sending a surge of energy between Rylee’s thighs that she wished he could do something about.
Because she wanted him to go… but she wanted him to stay too.
“You’re taking forever in there,” she teased, her eyes moving to her bedroom door. “You said to give you a minute and it’s been almost five.”
Xander chuckled to himself as he leaned forward to sip water to swish.
“How long does it really take to brush your teeth?” she continued. “It only takes two minutes for my teeth and maybe another minute for my tongue. You got an extra row in your mouth I don’t know about?”
