She giggled. “But like… I don’t know if I willeverbe ready for this step, sopleasetell me. How did you know? Are you not a little scared?”
Hesitant?
She doesn’t ask that extension to her question out loud.
“Oh, I’m terrified, Rylee. Look at my hand right now.” Yusuf held out his hand, and it was shaking a little.
And as simple as it was, seeing that was somewhat of a relief.
“Even just the thought of asking Clarke is scary,” he continued. “When I proposed to Parris, to me, that was it. I felt like I’ll never have to get down on one knee again, nor would I want to. Forever. Period.”
Rylee bobbed her head up and down. “Right.”
“But then I met Clarke,” he said. “And after a short time, I realized she was amazing, too. She wasn’t Parris, and that was perfect, because Clarke was herself. And me not constantly trying to find Parris in life when she’d already died was a step that was hard to take. But Clarke…” He shook his head in awe. “She makes me look forward to new days. She understands my past, understands how it is a part of who I am, my story, and she accepts it all. She loves it all. So…” He shrugged this time. “I want this. And even though it’s scary, I’m willing to do it scared with her because I know there’s something beautiful on the other side of what scares me.”
“Yeah,” Rylee whispered. To him. To herself.
“Well, go ahead,” she told him, pressing a hand to his arm. “Go to Clarke and tell her about this amazing trip that will be better than she’ll imagine. I’m so happy for you, Yusuf.”
She extended her arms, and Yusuf leaned into a hug with her, holding her tight.
“Thank you, Rylee,” he told her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
And she smiled at that.
“Thankyou,” she said, holding him tightly.
She pulled away from the hug, smiling. Because deep inside, something cracked open… not in pain, but in possibility.
Could she get to this place, too?
Could she stop waiting… and start living?
three
XANDER
Bacon saltingthe air smelled like a good Saturday morning in Brooklyn. The sizzle of turkey bacon in the pan competed with the high-pitched voices of LJ and Nova as they spoke over each other between bursts of laughter.
And God, there wasn’t a sweeter sound to Xander.
Well… actually, Rylee’s moans were definitely?—
“Can I, Uncle Xander?”
Nova’s voice cut through his thoughts. Xander turned to look at her over his shoulder.
She stood near the dove gray marble counter, eyes fixed on him.
Nova had grown so much, and he was grateful to have witnessed every bit of it. Still, he missed the days when she used to call him“Dander”and sometimes wished her mother had never corrected her. The thought made him snicker.
“Can you what, Princess Nova?”
She giggled, her face lighting up just like her mother’s did when she laughed.
“Stir the pancakes?”
She was already bouncing on her little legs, and because he could never say no…
