I watch Ban’s friends through the stone, marveling at the magic. A century ago, the closest thing my parents had to this was a very large stone that sat in my father’s study, and only other royal families had one. I didn’t see the stone when I was back in the castle, so I doubt it’s still there.
A handheld one is so much more convenient.
“We’ll come down the mountain soon, Z,” Ban says, speaking to the man on the other side of the stone. The girl is there, too, so bundled up, I think she might be on the verge of dying from the cold. We’re uncomfortable after the temperature dropped inside the mountain, but even with just Ban’s shirt and my ruined dress, I already feel more like myself.
“We’ll be waiting at the cave,” Zarev explains. “I’ll update Ray. Not much has changed for them.”
I don’t ask what that means, peering over the side of the mountain. It’s still dark, and I have no idea what time it is, but the stone’s soft glow gives me enough to study Ban’s face as he speaks to the other two. He appears to be all right, kind of like me.
My back aches, but not as much as I expect it should. Ban asked me what I remembered about fighting my mother, and I haven’t given him much of an answer, afraid of what it will bring.
The Icebound, my father’s spirit… all that’s happened since my kingdom was frozen feels like too much. And not enough. I haven’t fixed what my mother created.
And Davina?The Sandman? Glacia’s words dance around in my head, all of the pieces seeming to line up, but nothing is forming a real picture. I’m missing something, but I can’t figure out what.
When Ban tucks the stone away again we’re plunged into darkness. The white snow and his hair seem to glow in the night, but other than that, I can’t make out anything distinct. We’re resting against the mountainside, my hand pressed against the rocks where we slipped into the mountain itself. My back is too sensitive to lean on, so for now I have to rest this way.
“We have to go back,” I say, the dead of night carrying my words away. “Glacia believes I can unfreeze the people my mother trapped. Maybe I can figure it out there before trying here? That woman seems important.”
“You believe her?” Ban asks, his words tired.
“Of course I believe her. She’s the Spirit of Winter.”
“And did you ever know about your father’s lineage before this?”
Biting my bottom lip, I shake my head. There’s no reason to keep things a mystery at this rate. “No. Part of what the reigning king or queen learns upon coronation is the secrets of our family line. I thought it would be blood rites or secret alliances, or maybe some deep, dark tunnels in the palace. The Icebound were stories told to children, not facts. Father never hinted at anything else. I was supposed to meet with him the day following my coronation, just the two of us, to discuss my new role. He died before that.”
“Because of–”
“Because ofmy mother,” I interrupt, the truth burning a hole in me all over again. “Not because of you. You were blameless all these years, weren’t you?”
The silence is suffocating until he finally speaks. “When you woke, it was easier to blame me than to accept anyone else could be at fault. I knew that from the moment I left the dungeon. I knew we didn’t strike the King hard enough to kill him. I needed your magic to somewhat control mine. It was all too new for me to manage by myself.”
“You let me hate you,” I say, peering at him in the dark. “But it wasn’t your fault.”
“Your hate was easier than your pain, Neve. The Frostlands needed a ruler. You needed an excuse. Being hated is nothing new to me.”
“Don’t start that,” I snap. “None of that self-deprecating bullshit. You didn’t deserve it, and you know it.”
“Do I?” His voice is soft, uncertain. I’ve never heard Ban sound like this. “I was gifted something I didn’t ask for. I was okay with dying, and fate decided to play a cruel trick. I didn’twantmagic. I wanted peace. And by somehow gaining the gift of Eternal Frost, I damned you.”
Eternal Frost.That’s what Glacia called her twin. I desperately want to go back to the library in my home and see if there’s something I overlooked all these years that ever hinted at anything like this. When I was stewing in my sleep, the Sandman never dropped any nuggets of information, either. “It’s just more rumors.”
“It’s the truth.” He turns his head toward me, and I wish I could see his eyes. “We met once, before I died and became an ice mage. In one of the receiving lines, waiting for an audience with your parents. You were kind to me. I remembered you when we crossed paths in the dungeon.”
“I didn’t know that,” I say, surprised. “I don’t recall–”
“You gave me bread and water,” he interrupts. “It wasn’t much, but to people who were starving it was everything. I knew then you would grow up to be a great queen. When I saw you in the dungeon, I tried to remember that among the royal family, at least someone was good.”
I stare toward the side of the mountain instead of him. The cold is gone from my bones, but speaking about my past leaves a hollow feeling inside. We should move, but once we climb down the mountain, we have to contend with what comes next.
I’m not ready for that. “Who were you then, before you died?”
“Digging into my past, Your Majesty?”
“You’ve heard so much of my history, but I know nothing of yours.”
Ban’s silent for a long time, and I start to think he’s ignoring me. “I lived in the capital city with my parents. In the beggar streets. Sometimes they did odd jobs for coin, but for the most part, we were dirt poor. They were often sick, working hours their bodies couldn’t handle, to support a child they didn’t want. Mum died when I was seven. She got caught in a storm and froze to death. My father was killed by some of the royal guards two years later for attempting to steal food.”
