I smack Ban’s hand away when he tries to comfort me. I’m not supposed to be having a breakdown. I’m theQueen. I’m supposed to handle this.
But an invading army? My mother… possibly dead? I’m injured to some extent, the people are supposedly frozen, there’s no one to turn to–
The reality hits me like a physical blow. I have no one to guide me. Mother, however misleading, was someone to look to when I came back from my sleep. My father, until the moment he died, promised to give me guidance in the next part of my life.
I don’t have anyone to follow now. I don’t knowhowto be the Queen.
As I look out toward the mouth of the cave again, my panic ratchets up. How do I rule without a guide? What am I supposed to do for the people who haveexpectationsof me?
At the mouth of the cave, the wind is tossing the snow about. There’s a whistle in the breeze, and thick snowflakes fall quickly to the drift forming out front. There’s a blizzard coming, and even if the cold doesn’t usually bother me, getting snowed-in here probably isn’t a good idea.
My thoughts fall away again when I spot the figure from before, the silhouette I thought I saw when I first woke. “Father?”
Beside me, Ban’s gaze snaps around to see what I’m looking at. I force myself to tuck my legs and rise, unwilling to believe I’m seeing something that only exists in my mind.
All these years, even in my dreamscape, I never saw my father’s lingering spirit. I was worried about the Icebound, the myths I grew up with that captured souls linger here among the living, unable to pass on. That was before I ran into Ban again, and he made me questioneverythingabout the dead.
The figure takes off, and I decide I won’t watch my father run away, not when I’ve waited a hundred years to see him again.
After rolling to my feet, I catch myself against the wall, the dress that’s barely hanging to my shoulders gaping forward. It doesn’t seem that I’m just missing part of the dress, but it appears there’s no back to my dress at all.
“Neve,” Ban hisses, catching my arm. “You can’t run out there. The ice–”
“Iamice,” I growl, ripping my arm away. His eyes bore into mine as he glares at me, and for the first time, our size difference feels like a disadvantage. Usually, I can rely on my magic, but right now, I don’t trust myself to fight him. “Get on my side, or get out of my way.”
I push Ban back, and this time, he lets me, despite the wary look in his eyes. I allow myself two steps to find my balance, take a breath, and throw myself out into the blizzard.
The frigid cold is a welcome balm to my skin, my body craving its touch. The wind snags my hair behind me, making me squint my eyes against the assault of snowflakes. It tears at my skirt and threatens to knock me over. I kick off my heels. They’ll only be a hindrance to me anyway.
There.
We’re at the base of the mountains, and given the size of the cave and the mountaintops that disappear into the storm above, I think this is the North Mountain. This is where my cabin was, the one my father showed me when I was young.
The one Mother kept me in for a century.
“Father!”
Ahead in the snow, I barely make out my father’s silhouette. Like the King he always was, he stands regal and tall. It’s dark, but I can make him out like a beacon, glowing blue.Strangely, the light makes it look like he has horns protruding from the top of his head.
I step forward, holding out my hand to close the distance. “Father…”
He doesn’t come back to me. Instead, he turns and begins to sprint up the mountain, appearing to float on top of the snow instead of sinking into it. Even I can't do that.
“Neve!”
Ban flies out of the cave after me, the wind sending his hair back in a halo of white. It’s bright enough that I can see him against the dark landscape.
I push away, begging my magic to respond to me. Unlike in the dreamscape, lying in the field, it comes easily this time when I shoot ice at him.
He blocks it, the wind sending a snowy defense spiraling off behind us. Ban’s eyes peer off in the direction my father ran, and for a moment, he seems surprised.
“Don’t try to stop me!” I scream, using the pain in my back to spur me onward. My movements are jagged at first, my body struggling to respond to me for long moments. I can hear their voices behind me. Every second it takes to catch up with my father steals my breath with worry.
What if he isn't there, and I really am losing my mind? Perhaps Ban didn’t see anything at all.
As I rush to follow my father up the cliffs, Odette's voice carries after me in the wind, almost lost to the storm. “Why is she going further up the mountain?”
If one of them responds, I don't hear it, nor do I turn to see if Ban is chasing me. I have a feeling he won’t casually watch while I climb the mountain in a snowstorm, but if I risk turning back, I might lose my footingorthe line of sight of my father.
