Tae’s lip quivers as she continues, “After I left your room, I came down the hall to this one. I don’t even know why, it just felt like something was pulling me here. This room is so beautiful, so full of light now that the sun is up. I love the window seats—” Her voice breaks, and I think I know why. Exhaling on a shuttered breath, she whimpers, “It’s just like I always imagined it’d be. All that’s missing is the furniture, but you had them build it just the way I said, didn’t you?”
Tears stream down the tip of my nose and make dark spots where they fall on the bedding. “Yeah, baby, I did,” I croak.
I remember the exact day years ago when she told me she wanted all the kids’ rooms to be upstairs so they could take their pillows and blankets between rooms to sleep together when theywere scared or wanted to make forts. She requested a dormer window in each bedroom so they could have a place to get lost in a good book, but two specifically for the nursery to let in all the natural light possible.
But there’s no question what really tipped her off to the meaning of this particular space. I follow her gaze to the last detail of her dreams for the room of late-night feeds and endless snuggles. In the corner, catching all the natural light from the two deepest, largest dormer windows a man could draw up, is an antique rocking chair. Nothing fancy, and certainly nothing comfortable, but something she never skipped when describing the perfect, cozy nursery for our babies. I was a naive, hopeless romantic clinging to the possibility of a second chance with her the day I brought that home.
“Come lie down with me, Bear,” she whispers, patting the comforter.
I lie on the bed beside her and pull her against my chest as we take in the room.
“It’s even better than I could’ve imagined,” she murmurs, her voice full of pain.
There’s a reason I didn’t show her this bedroom when I gave her a tour of the house. I knew it would cause her heartache, I just didn’t realize then that seeing it together after learning she miscarried would break both our hearts.
“You said last night that our baby was a he?” I say, hoping like hell she’s still willing to talk to me about everything.
She sniffs. “I wasn’t far enough along to find out, but when I allowed myself to envision what could’ve been had I not miscarried, I always saw a baby boy. With your curly hair and my brown eyes.”
I have to fight back the tears that threaten to escape. “When—”
Before I can finish the question, she answers, “Remember when I told you I came to Boston? That’s when. I’d beenplanning to visit Ryan once she got settled at school. She’s actually the one who made me take a test and came with me to confirm my pregnancy. I got to see him, hear his heartbeat for the first time only hours before it stopped. I was actually at the party that night to tell you about the pregnancy. That’s when—”
A choked sob escapes her and my heart shatters into a million pieces.
I pull her further into my arms and we just sit there and cry together. I’m not sure how much time passes, but eventually Tae wipes beneath her eyes and then does the same to mine before nuzzling her head back in place.
“I have to have my trigger shot tonight at eight o’clock,” she murmurs against my chest, which tightens in anticipation of her egg retrieval procedure tomorrow morning.
“I’ve already got an alarm set on my phone so we don’t forget. One for eight o’clock and one for an hour before in case we weren’t home.”
“If it’s alright with you, I think I’d prefer to just stay in today and have a lazy day,” Tae says softly, almost sleepily.
Rubbing my hand up and down her spine, I kiss the top of her head. “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do. But I do have a surprise in the basement for you if you’re up for it. If not, we can do it on a different day.”
Tae shifts so she can look up at me. “What kind of surprise?”
Bringing my arm beneath my head, I nearly get lost in her coffee-colored eyes. “A surprise I’m shocked I haven’t given away yet.”
That earns me a giggle, and the sound of her laughter heals me in ways I didn’t realize was possible. “You always were terrible at holding in a secret, which meant you were shit at surprises or not immediately giving me a gift. Like when you gave me my birthday present three months early because you said you didn’t know where you’d hide it in your dorm.”
I join in her laughter thinking about my panic at hiding that guitar. “In all honesty, I don’t think it would’ve been a birthday gift. I was too excited to give it to you and watch you play,” I admit.
She squeezes me around my waist as she lays her head back on my chest. “So, what’s this surprise? I’m intrigued,” she says as she dances her fingers across my stomach, causing me to flex. Flattening her palm against my stomach, she inches her hand lower and murmurs, “These are certainly more defined now than I remember.”
“If you keep feeling me up, we’re not going to get to your surprise, baby,” I rasp, grabbing her hand to stop it from trailing any farther.
Tae pouts and it’s one of the most adorable things ever. “Don’t give me that look.” When she doesn’t let up, I sit up and pull her off the bed with me. “Come on, you know I’m a sucker for that look.”
“I do, that’s why I’m not letting up until I get my way.”
Using my hand as a blinder, I shrug in her general direction. “Then I guess I’m not looking at you until after I show you your surprise.” Without looking back, I walk out of the room and down the steps to the basement. I smile when I hear her sigh and then follow after me.
The basement has been a work-in-progress. I’ve finished it in phases, prioritizing certain rooms over others. One of them being this surprise.
I lead her down the hall to where my home gym is. The glass wall of black-paned doors leading into the gym is one of my favorite features in the house.
“Where are you taking me?” she questions as I lead her through the gym doors. “I’m still on restrictions,” Tae points out and I chuckle at that, because does she really think my surprise is bringing her to the basement to work out together?
