God? What has he done for you in all these years except steal everything good and pure?
“It’s so nice to see you both again, and it’s a pleasure to meet you Rowen and Caden-ce—” my voice cracks as I say the girl’s name. Bringing my hand to cover my mouth, I choke back a sob that threatens to escape. “Excuse me, I’m not feeling well,” I say before taking off toward the house.
I make it to the entryway inside the house just as Jax calls out, “Baby, wait up.”
Freezing in place, I brace my lower stomach, willing this uneasiness I’m feeling to subside.
Jax’s arm comes around my shoulders when he reaches me. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Avoiding eye contact, I keep my gaze fixed on the floor. “You know what? I’m so sorry, it turns out I’m not feeling well enough to do the big party after all. I think I should probably go. You stay, though. I’ll order a car to bring me to your house.”
“You’re not having a random stranger drive you home.” Gently, Jax tilts my chin up, and when my watery eyes connect with his, a look of hurt flashes across his face. “Talk to me, T. What happened just now?”
“N-nothing,” I stutter, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one is eavesdropping on us. Satisfied when I don’t see anyone, I fix my gaze back on his.
“Please don’t lie to me, baby. Was it my brother? Did he say something?”
Reaching out, I grasp his forearm and assure him, “No, it’s not Bennett. I promise.”
“Did someone make you feel uncomfortable?” he questions.
Dropping his arm, I grasp my stomach again with both hands this time, attempting to steady myself, but it’s no use. I feel like the walls are closing in on me.
Stumbling backward, I bump into the entryway table behind me. “I’m so sorry, I’m just feeling a bit unsteady right now.”
Jax is quick to reach out and stabilize me. With his arm around my waist, he gestures to their front door. “Here, let me walk you out to my truck and then I’ll text Bennett that we had to go.”
“No, Jackson. You haven’t even been here an hour yet. Besides, that papaya-eating competition hasn’t happened yet,” Ipoint out, trying my best to convince him to stay and let me get a ride.
“I don’t care about anything going on or anyone here besides you, T. Now let me take you home.”
I don’t put up any more of a fight as he places his hand on the small of my back and guides me out to his truck.
There’s a foreboding feeling sitting deep in my gut that everything is about to change once again.
“Here, let me,” Jax insists, taking the ice cube from my hand and holding it against my stomach. “Do you want to pinch the area like last night or have me do it?” he asks in a gentle tone, causing tears to well in my eyes.
I hesitate, because how in the hell is this man being so good to me right now when I don’t deserve it? I don’t deserve his kindness or his selflessness.
“I can pinch it. Thanks,” I murmur as I gather the skin between my fingers and squeeze right before he draws the needle to it.
“Close your eyes, T,” Jax tells me just before he gives me the first injection. Drawing up the second round, he asks, “Are you doing okay?”
“Fine, thanks,” I say, breathing deeply and keeping my eyes shut.
“This will all be worth it one day, baby,” he whispers. I freeze, my whole body stiffening as his words register. This is the first time he’s even hinted at the fact that if this is successful it will result in our future children. I mean, he didn’t say that exactly, but that’s definitely what he’s insinuating.
I let out a low chuckle that evolves into something bordering on hysterical.
Jackson draws back the needle he was about to poke me with. Glancing up at me, he asks, “What’s happening right now?”
A child or children I’ll never get to grow in my own body.
My stupid, useless fucking body that has failed me in the worst way already.
Of course my hormonal rollercoaster of emotions chooses this moment to send me freefalling from laughter into choked sobs. Jax shoots up, setting the injection on the bathroom counter before wrapping his arms around me. He just stands there and patiently holds me as my worst memories come crashing back to the forefront of my mind.
Blood. There’s so much blood. It’s soaked through my pants. I fall to the ground and drop my head into my hands as sobs wrack my body with an unyielding force as the likely reality of my situation hits me.
