As he retreats to join his family, I realize Jackson’s intimidating presence isn’t one I welcome at my church. I’m immediately ashamed and hit with guilt for feeling that way, but I can’t help it. He threatens to disrupt the only place I’ve felt at peace since my mother passed away three years ago. It’s within these walls that I still feel her here with me. Don’t get me wrong, I know she’s with me wherever I go, but it’s in this church, a place we spent so much time together, that I feel her most.
There’s this nagging feeling in the back of my mind, a strange pull toward him, urging me to get closer. I repress those thoughts and continue my walk home, cursing myself for almost getting ensnared by Jackson’s tempting gaze. Nothing good could come from befriending a boy this close to me leaving this town, let alone one who looks like him.
2
Then
Although my family attends church every Sunday, I’ve never considered myself very religious. At eighteen and a senior in high school, I’m probably the furthest thing from a holy man there could be.
But I’m pretty sure the devil is tempting me right now, or maybe I’ve actually done something right in this life, and this is divine intervention, placing the girl from church in my path once again.
Not only is she in my path, but she’s stepping out onto the ice at my playoff hockey game to sing the national anthem.
Taevin Gray.
That’s what the announcer said her name was just before she stepped onto the ice.
My eyes don’t leave her petite frame as she lifts the microphone and begins singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” a cappella. She looks adorable in her black, quilted parka that comes down to her knees and black leggings with crisp, white tennis shoes that match a white knit beanie with a fluffy ball on her head. My fingers itch to run through the silky strands of herlong, raven hair curling past her waist. And I know if she were facing me right now, I’d get lost in her depthless chocolate eyes the way I have for the past month my family has attended her church.
I hone in on her, taking note of each detail and creating a mental snapshot of this pivotal moment—the first time I’ve seen her outside the walls of our church. I’ve asked around about her at my school, questioning if perhaps she was younger than me. No one had heard of my nameless obsession, which made me wonder if she was homeschooled. Now, as she sings the national anthem at my hockey game against our rivals, the Christian private school in our town, I put the pieces together.
Visions of her in a royal blue jersey and hanging out with one of the guys on their team don’t sit right with me. If she is wearing one of their jerseys, she’s covering it up right now. She’s always seemed so shy in church that I have a hard time picturing her dating an athlete, which doesn’t bode well for my chances.
As if a player like me has a chance in hell with a good girl like her.
I’m pulled from my thoughts as she begins belting the bridge of the song, and the crowd erupts in cheers filled with hoots and hollers for her singing. I’ve only ever heard her sing at church accompanied by a piano and choir, but hearing her sing a cappella right now sends chills down my arms and spine. She’s insanely gifted and vocally talented. Even the way she performs is mesmerizing, it’s as if she were born to stand center stage and captivate an audience. I haven’t looked at the flag once since she opened her mouth, and I doubt any of my teammates have either.
The crowd roars as she finishes the closing note, and I don’t waste any time skating over to her before she can get off the ice.
“You’re incredible,” I tell her, stopping beside the door she’s about to walk out of and leaning my hip against the boards.
I’m going for calm and collected when I’m feeling anything but. Seeing her this close again, breathing in her sweet, floral scent, has my heart beating in overdrive.
She looks shocked to see me. Her eyes widen as she looks side to side, like she’s trying to find a way out of conversing with me.
Clearing the nerves from my throat, I continue, “I mean, I knew you could sing from church, but your voice is beautiful and your range is insane.”
“Uh, thanks,” she says shyly.
“Are you sticking around for the game?” I can’t stop myself from asking her.
“I wasn’t planning on it. I’ve never watched a hockey game before. I’m just here because my choir teacher asked me to sing the national anthem,” she explains.
“Will you stay? Pretty please?” I bring my gloved hands together in pleading.
She tries to muffle her laughter behind her fluffy mittens, but I catch a glimpse of her small smile. The fact that I made her smile makes my chest swell with pride as if I’d just scored the game-winning goal.
“How about this? If you stay to watch your first hockey game, I’ll score a goal for you,” I suggest.
Lowering her mittens, she raises her eyebrows at me. “That’s awfully pretentious of you. Are you always this cocky, Jackson?”
“Not cocky, confident,Taevin.”
A slight gasp escapes as her name leaves my lips. It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud, and I have to admit I love the way it rolls off my tongue.
“Why do I get the feeling that only someone who is cocky would make that correction?”
“Stick around and see if I can put my money where my mouth is, Tae.” The nickname slips out, and she narrows her eyesslightly while fighting a grin, and it’s probably one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen a girl do.
