“Well, I would appreciate it if you knocked moving forward,” I inform Kyle, my tone firm as I narrow my gaze on him to make sure what I’ve said sinks in.
Apparently I hit my mark because Kyle’s hands shoot up in surrender. “Knock. Got it.”
He moves across the small space until he’s standing beside me. “Can I have a hug, or is that too much to ask for?”
I roll my eyes at the condescending edge to his question, and cross my arms in silent reply.
“What’s gotten into you, Taevin? I’m worried about you,” Kyle says, now sounding genuinely concerned.
“Oh, really? That’s rich. You’re all of a sudden worried about me? Yet, when I was recovering from a major surgery and then had several chemotherapy sessions, where were you? Where was your concern then? And now, here I am having to perform for a live audience while still receiving treatment after you forced my hand.”
I’m so pissed at him right now my body quakes with anger and I have to ball my hands into fists to keep him from noticing.
He rears back as if he’s been slapped. Good. I’m glad to see that what I’ve said has affected him. I hope he realizes what he’s done by forcing me to be here.
“Taevin, you should know this decision was out of my hands. As for giving you space while you had surgery and begantreatments, I thought that was what you wanted. You ran off to Minnesota with yourestrangedhusband, dismissing both Braidy and myself. Excuse me for misunderstanding what it is you wanted from me.”
I scoff and shake my head. “Is that your backwards way of apologizing?”
“Did it sound like an apology?” he retorts in a harsh tone he’s never used toward me.
“No, it didn’t,” I grit out.
“Good, because it wasn’t one. Now, I’ll leave you to get ready to go on stage. Hopefully everything goes off without a hitch since you missed your sound check earlier. Honestly, Taevin”—he shakes his head—“I’m not sure what’s gotten into you but you need to get it together. I shouldn’t need to remind you how important tonight’s performance is to the label.”
Without giving me a chance to rebuttal, he turns and leaves the dressing room.
Uncrossing my arms, I attempt to shake out the anger and nerves. I turn around and place my hands on the edge of the vanity counter. Looking up at my reflection, I take one final deep breath before giving myself a pep talk.
“You can do this. It’s one song. Get it together then go out on stage and shine.”
With one final check of my wig, I adjust my necklaces and give myself a once over. I’m wearing a black dress with a black, long-sleeve overlay that has rhinestones adorning the mesh fabric. It’s not the same dress Jax picked out for the Summer Stampede, since that one was too big on me now, but it’s close enough.
Even though he can’t be here with me tonight, I wanted to feel him here with me. I’m thankful Walker was able to join me, though I’m regretting sending her to her seats so she could watch the other performers. She would’ve been the perfect shield from Kyle.
What the hell has gotten into him? I hardly recognize him anymore.
Suddenly, a sharp pain in my stomach has me doubling over to grab the counter.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
What am I going to do if this happens while I’m on stage?
It won’t. It’s one song. You’ll be fine.
I try and fail to quiet the doubts swirling in my mind. Because what if I won’t be fine? What if I’m breaking my promise to Jackson?
I’m just so fucking exhausted.
My body already feels like it’s gone ten rounds in a boxing ring. Every chemo session has left me so weak and tired, most days it’s hard for me to even get out of bed and move after.
I can feel my fight dwindling, though I would never dare admit that out loud.
A pounding on my dressing room door echoes off the walls and then a stagehand shouts, “You’re on in ten.”
That leaves me just enough time to get my in-ear monitors set and find Sterling. As much as I’d love to play my guitar myself tonight for my acoustic version of “Amazing Grace,” I just don’t have it in me.
Gripping the counter with all the strength I can muster, I breathe through the pain as I walk out the door that leads me toward the stage.
